DUMB QUESTIONS/SMART ANSWERZ: ANTARCTICA STARTS HERE

We were kinda stoked when we were caught off guard to hear there was a show this Friday night at Rudz featuring none other than local favs Tambersauro. When we heard they were looking for other Regents of Rock to fill out the bill, we hesitated only long enough to open another bottle of the Krissy before suggesting they get in touch with the dopamine dispensers that are Antarctica Starts Here. Fortunately for us and 21+ kids everywhere, Tambersauro hopped on the suggestion. Accordingly, we felt compelled to do today what we do nearly every Thursday, and ask the non-har, non-mar, definately superstars in ASH some of the dumbest questions we could think of. ENJOYZ:

What are some of your favorite records lately?
Mike (bass)- My Education- moody dipper, explosions in the sky- everything, bloc party- a weekend in the city and willie nelson
Jenna (vox) -My Education, Alpha Rev, Silversun pickups
The Air Alone (piano/synth) - Boy in Static - Violet, the Mary Onettes - s/t, My Kappa Roots - the House of St. Colme Burnt Down, Televise - Strings and Wires EP
Are there any Houston bands who you've been digging lately?
m- sinews, sharks and sailors, co-pilot
J- Co-Pilot, Paris Falls, Mansion
taa- I stand by belief that Mansion is the only band in Houston.
Geoff: sinews, sharks and sailors, dirty leg.

What's your secret Houston place?
m- {blank stare}
J-Proletariat, Tacos a go go, Rudyards
taa- Well, is it still a secret if I tell you? Either way, my secret place is actually in Pasadena, and it's the Taqueria Jesus y Maria. Any place where the Son of God comes down just to make me a burrito is ok by me.
g- the pro, yeah, not so secret

What is the first sentence of the page you are on in a book you are reading right now?
m- Machinery does not destroy.
J-PAUL OVERTOOK ANITA in the garage, where she was starting the station wagon.
taa- At this stage, even more data can be received.
G- YOU HAVE DONE quite right coming to me Mr. Woodhope.

What's the best thing you have spent money on in the last year?
m- ipod, fender bass
J-um...studio time, room rent, and school
taa- My son... or my new Roland RS 202
G- what month is it???? if it is before June... my new amp, else my telecaster.

What is the best thing you got for free in the last year?
m- i never get anything for free.
J-A nice customer who manages a bike shop brought me a bike(Cruiser) that he had fixed up.
taa- The unconditional love of a child.
G- beers and such after my doggie died....I needed the respite.

What question should we ask the band next week?
m- who in the fuck is john cale?
J- Candy says-ask to see Mikes socks.
taa- You know what you need...?
G- and who the fuck is the velvet underground... you should at least know...:-)

What does Antarctica Starts Here have going on right now?
m- the new recording (mixing what we have and trying to get some more time), playing shows and above all writing new material.
J-write more songs, finish the new record, and continue to play shows. Hopefully more out of town gigs. Preferably not where there is a loud metal band playing behind us and the only thing separating their monster from ours is a dinky wooden fence.
taa- Well. I'm totally snowed under mixing these new songs. Then I'll have to record the electric pianos, synthesizers and vocals and throw those into the mix and probably start all over... I'm also terribly busy with run-on sentences, and arranging a rash of dj appearances over the summer. Anyone got a good dj name for me? dj sad shoes just isn't going to cut the mustard this year.
G- the new record... mike is right... it is the biggest thing I have ever done.... still need to write more songs....W.L.K. I love you.

Like we said, check out Antarctica Starts Here, where they will no doubt rock out some new jams, tomorrow night (Friday) at Rudyard's with Tambersauro. Party.

MORRISSEY USES HOUSTON STOP TO RECORD TOTALLY SWISHA NEW TRACK

MAJOR MILLER REJOICE! WHO KNEW that after his show the other night Morrissey didn’t, in fact, leave town. Turns out that, since last Saturday, the pompadoured one and his band have been holed up in Houston’s Sunrise Sound Studio recording a track titled “That’s How People Grow Up” for his upcoming Greatest Hits CD. How do we know? Turns out that the last of the gang to die had a list of some vintage gear he was looking for and the studio’s manager Ben called up none other than the recently shaven Mr. Steven Burnett. In the end, he who is the last of the family line got out of his Asian gear Rut by renting a Korg and two Roland Space Echoes. “I didn't get a chance to meet Moz but, he was nice enough to sign a few of Smiths LPs for me” commented Mr. Burnett. Awe.

We went on to be informed that the track was produced and engineered by Jeremy Simms and Joe McGrath, who also worked the levers for Morrissey’s 2004 release. Party. So, if you happened to be down in Sharpstown or Sugarland this past week and thought you saw a guy that looked like an English Celibate – you may actually have.

LINUS PAULING QUARTET WILL THUNDER DOWN UNDER

WE LOVE emails that contain the subject line "Shameless Self Promotion." No seriously, spending our lunch hours and evenings scouring the internet and reading countless myspace bullitens just to drag out a story idea or two is, well, making us hungry and single. SO, it's mad refreshing when a someone has the gumption to send us the deets on something they're up to in advance. Especially something like NEW ALBUM DETAILZ.

The Linus Pauling Quartet, about whom our favorite critical comment about is "A large red sticker proclaiming WEIRD ALERT could not make things plainer" (Q Magazine), has just had their upcoming LP picked up by the Austrailian label Camera Obscura. All Things Are Light will be released late summer in a limited run of 500 on purple vinyl (it will also include a CDR of the tracks for folks like us who are way behind in getting all their records on to YE OLDE IPOD).

In the meantime, the Linus Pauling Quartet isn't playing any shows and doesn't have any scheduled. Oh. Well, i guess, in the meantime meantime, you can go download some tracks from their previous releases here. Crikey.

TODAY IN MUSIC NEWS

Yep. That's pretty much it. We're recovering from memorial day and should be back up soon. Peace.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: WE SHALL MEMORIALIZE YOU

MASTERS AND COMMANDERS. SOLDIERS AND GENERALS. LORDS AND LAYMEN. REAL TALK: Thank you for what you have done for our nation. For what you have done, against your nature even, in defense of us and our interests. Regardless of how history or we may view the conflict in which you served, you have our thanks.

FRIDAY

• L.A.X., Rory and the Artificial Heart, The Western Civilization, Thieves Like Us @ Jet Lounge (note: relocated from Boondocks)
• Riff Tiffs CD Release Party w/Helecoptor Jones @ Bohemeos
• Laura Viers, Lake @ Walter’s
• Tody Castillo @ The Continental Club
• Bryce Isbell, Johan the Angel, Matthew and the Arrogant Sea, Verulf @ The Proletariat (happy hour show)
  
• Program, The Fcking Transmissions, The Last Gasp @ Notsuoh

SATURDAY

• Mary Timmony (Helium), Adam Bricks @ Walter’s
• Great Northern Guns, Satin Hooks @ The Proletariat
• Glass Candy @ The Mink
• Down for the Count, Before...There Was Rosalyn, As the Cancer Spreads, The Letting Go Process, Tomorrow's Too Late, The Last Place You Look, The Second String Rivals, The Lion of Wall-Street, Margot, The Western Civilization, Shattered Souls, Heroes Are Ghosts, Lunara, Tamerlane, Heptic Skeptic, Hollywood Black, Thorn vs. Side, While You Were Gone, The Hanks, The City Drive, The A Game, Barely Blind, Great American Actors, The American Masquerade @ Strawberry Park (Pasadena)
  

SUNDAY

• Melt Banana, XBXRX, The Jonx @ Numbers

MATT AND KIM REVEAL HOUSTON CONNECTION

“The, uh ceiling is sagging” commented one of the hopefuls who showed up too late to make it into sold-out O Pioneers!!!/Fatal Flying Guilloteens/Matt and Kim show upstairs at the Mink last night. In that tiny hall, a riot of jumping smiles is escalating non-stop, punctuated only by the breaks between songs when Matt stood on his perch (prolly only the first few rows of people actually caught glimpses of them while they performed) to tell anecdotes. Two in particular revealed a way way rad close connection between the adobrable duo and Houston (though one that, frankly, wasn’t so surprising considering that Brooklyn is essentially an outpost of Montrose).

First up, Matt relayed a tale of how his former band was playing a show on the roof of their place in Bedsty with the Guilloteens. At some point in the evening, one of our local heroes (or perhaps their entourage)(key word, RAGE) propelled a beer bottle off the roof, with a glorious arc right across the street, tumbling ever downward… towards the park located opposite… and smashing down only feet from the children playing there (yes, children were playing at the park at one AM). Police were called. Threats were made, the party was shut down, everyone stayed. Unfortunately, once the police left, the older siblings of those in the park showed up and proceeded to beat exiting party-goers with canes. So, the police were called again, this time to protect the party-goers. Unfortunately, due to miscommunication, the police thought the party was the source of the trouble and joined in on the insult to injury. “Man, Those Guilloteens are bastards,” Matt chuckled.



One song later, Matt explained how “we have this one video where people throw food at us,” which, it turns out, was 100% inspired by their last show in Houston at the Proletariat (where it was approximated that there were 13 people in attendance, btw). While playing, the notorious Montrose institution that is the Five Dollar Pizza Guy Hot Fresh Pizza showed up. Some local friends of the kids bought pizza, and proceeded to throw it at them while they were playing. No joke. Immediately after launching into their Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, none other than their pal Brett Shirley (Cedars of Lebanon) suddenly appeared on (not in, on) the crowd wearing a Bannanna costume they had sent thim. If it was possible for the crowd to be more stoked to hear that song, the only thing that might have it better would have been a man in a banna costume. What a fun night.

Not seen the video? You can watch it in your cave or under your rock below.


Matt and Kim wound their evening down back in the Castlecourt with friends. They’re cool kids. They’re on our side, definately UN-SUSPECT for a pair of New Yorkers and we wish them well.

(PS – Lomax tried to pull rank and get into the show for free. He had to pay. LOL!)
(PPS – Check out Chester Soria’s ACES shots of the show, including the ones we stole, above).

REVIEW: RIFF TIFFS - AFFLICTINNITUS

So. Here's something Diddy ain't done yet. He hasn't become a ghost dolphin. Which is a shame, cause we have a perfect record for him should he find himself bottle-nosed and sleek, gliding effortlessly through the breaking surf in slow motion as an impossibly large moon crests over the Pacific horizon. Sure, there would be some details to work out, such as whether his tasteful but blingy earring would need to be relocated to the dorsal fin or flippers. And what of his signature mustache and gautee combination; do dolphins even grow hair? But it matters not, these minor details as to the shape of things to swim, once magically transformed (something achievable by so powerful a god as only Neptune himself) the eternal soundtrack to his days of exploration in the cool deep blue could only be Afflictinnitus by the Riff Tiffs.

We recommend this record because, as Dolphditty would no doubt realize given his afore-demonstrated ability to spot talent, his iPod is rocking the sounds of the submerged. Generally, the metaphor employed to ramble on and on about a band whose sound and songwriting invokes large, open spaces is outer-space (or, if you’re Edmund Burke, vast untouched landscapes. Damn, we’re starting to wonder if it might not have been better to make this review about Burke rather than a rapping dolphin). There’s something far more fluid to the Riff Tiffs, however. Rather than vacuum, there are the reverberations of shear waves; the radiating death of solar winds are replaced by the massive undersea conveyors, the current system. Space will freeze you as it violently sucks your gut out; the sea will drown you with a comforting cool. Unless you’re Puff Porpoise – then a chill life of smooth sailing is what you have in store.

This album, the Riff Tiff’s first, is an impressive frigate of sound, with pressure-treated wood so bright not a barnacle one could set-up shop on her hull. It is an ACES escort for casual chilling with the school and introspective dives into the deep alone. We’ve been rocking it out for a week and, like Flipper Daddy will do so until we say So Long, and thanks for all the fish. Recommended.

The Riff Tiff’s CD Release Party is tonight at Bohemos with sweet jams provided by Helicopter Jones. Apologies to the Riff Tiffs for writing sodumb/bad a review of a record we really enjoy.

BUMMER: MCMANUS LEAVING GUILLOTEENS

You may have already read by now, but ace of strings, songbird and one of our favorite scribes Brian McManus is set to play his last show with local lads Fatal Flying Guilloteens tonight. You prolly didn't need another excuse to goto the Matt and Kim show that they're opening for, but just in case, I would expect his swan song to be nothing left that teeth-removing. When reached for comment regarding his departure, Guilloteens manager Runtrel Davenport was barely able to choke out something about the high cost and difficulty of procuring cheese steaks on tour before launching into an obscenity laced diatribe about "not leaving my job in the Ship Channel to have it end up like this."

We wish Brian all the best, knowing that we can always listen to our records whenever the salty stain starts collecting in our tear-ducts heavy with memories. And for the Guilloteens, three piece, four piece, five piece - it matters not - you are still Where The Rock Comes From. Hugs.

The Fatal Flying Guilloteens are on the bill tonight when Matt and Kim and O Pioneers!!! destroy the upstairs back room at the Mink. The Guilloteens next album, Quantum Fcking, is due out in July on French Kiss Records.

REVIEW: ARTHUR YORIA - HANDSHAKE SMILES

We used to pal around with this guy who was perhaps the best collector and teller of stories ever to be snuck beers at a bar. Generally, we are of the opinion that once is enough when it comes to re-telling of personal anecdotes, but honestly we had to restrain ourselves in requesting that he tell this tale or that to us yet again. One story in particular stands out as perhaps his greatest hit: the time when Rod Stewart offered him advice on picking up girls in a bar in Italy. Not even really advice, coaching (in his re-telling, he-who-wakes-up-Maggie often had an Australian accent as that was the closest he could affect – the Crocodile Dundeeness of it only added to the fun). This fable of reconstruction was always told over ales and long past when the clock had both arms up, so we cannot and should not relay all the details – but we recall it having a happy ending.

Rod Stewart is not a particularly handsome man. But he has swagger, and he is sexy. He knows it – he wouldn’t ask you if you though he was otherwise. Along with, say, Fonzie, he holds court in a particular branch of the thistle thorn diagram of male sexiness. Oh yes, there are other things besides a leather tie or a leather jacket that makes one sexy, because, as we all know, there are other forms of sexy.

Let’s take a moment to note that R. Kelly trumps all in this sort of a discussion. Moment done. Let’s move on to Handshake Smile, the new LP from 713 crooner Arthur Yoria.

From the outset, Handshake is a dread sexy recording, but definitely not in the Drakkar Noir vein. It’s not the sort of active-sonar sexy that can backfire quickly into the realm of creepy if poorly executed. Nope. It’s more the chill, interesting, good smile, fun vein of sexy; corduroy and suede over silk and chiffon. It’s going to kiss you in the rain, and the entire thing will be filmed by a slowly reverse-tilting boom-mounted camera. Like the person at the bar you have to work your way over towards, it’s engaging before you’ve really figured out how to approach it. Indeed, even if you never get the minerals to go up to it and start a listening conversation, the memory of it sticks with you.

Handshake has ACES pop lyrics, something we don’t generally pay much attention to (words are crap, we contend). It was bedroom produced with a single microphone, which isn’t evident at all from the sound of it, prolly due to the out and out quality of the mixing, the strength of the arrangements, the talent of the players and the, well, sexiness of the songwriting. Catchy can’t begin to describe some of these melodies; showy, corny, flashy or smelling of Cool Water never will. Yoria has put a lot of years into this game, and if the end result of it is going to be records like this, we’re stoked. Rod prolly would be too. No Homo. Recommended.

Catch Arthur Yoria playing around town lots and lots in the upcoming month, but most importantly, at the Feel Good Hits of the Summer Festival Saturday, June 9th at the Proletariat.

UNTHINKABLE: WE CATCH UP WITH THE SCATTERED PAGES

HEY – guess who was the first Houston act to get the nod in the hay bailing granddaddy of online music sites this year? HA HA! GOTCHA! You thought this was another Jana Hunter superfan intro, didn’t ya? WELL SBT, cause, believe it or not, the first protagonists of pop to propagate the pitchy powder blue was none other than the Scattered Pages. Well, we haven’t checked in with the Baytown bombers since, and so we decided to get all timely, fun and news you can use about it with mild mannered and dashing bassist Kurt.

TSN: Sup?
Kurt: We, the pages, keep fairly busy.
TSN: Oh word?
K: Lately, we have been grooming the ever-reliable Falcon (Paul Valdez)
into our routine. Played a smashing gig w/him last Thursday at the Mohawk in Austin. It's coming together gradually.
TSN: Yo, holla at my boy.
K: Paul is a fantastic drummer and so is Andy, meaning they each have their own styles and dynamic tendencies. Paul would never just mimic Andy's parts for the sake of consistency (and we wouldn't want him to), so it will take due time for us to congeal as a four piece. That said, the goal for the foreseeable future is to have Paul join us when his schedule and our checkbook allow but to also continue performing as a three piece. The
core of the band will still remain the three of us.
TSN: Strictly Next Level?
K: We sit perched on the cusp of yet another new musical direction. I don't really know which direction that is yet because Brandon hasn't unveiled his 14 new and finished songs and I haven't finished my 4 new songs and Andy's got stuff too.
TSN: Throw some D’s on it..
K: We plan to make two trips to Nashville this Summer. We have a publicist friend there and we think we like the city, so why not. Austin is becoming friendlier to us as we mature, so all indications are that we will be making increasingly more frequent trips there as opportunities present themselves.
TSN: Real Talk, Thanks.

You can catch the Scattered Pages tonight at the Mink with Willowz and Paper Moons.

REVIEW: THE TENSPEEDS - S/T EP

Two crucial points of discussion with this EP: 1) the corrosive effect that Mall-Emo slickness has had on the reputation of otherwise earnest statements of teen angst, or those compositions that invoke that style of expression; 2) a counterpoint in the aesthetic of a particular lo-fi recording style in practice locally or, the John Sears Sound.

1) At some point, post Sunny Day Real Estate and the Dischord Records proto-emo that preceded it, youthful introspection with aggrandized emotional catharses un-tempered by a deep pool of life-experience or expectations began to be seen as a commoditizable part of youth culture.

2) The John Sears Sound is typified by a 4-track(?) approach to recording, favoring the capture of on-tape rawness over balanced condenser mic fidelity.

1) The commoditation of this music increased the asset pool available to its practitioners; palettes were smoothed past refinement to gloss; the removal from the inspiration triggers increased; contracts were signed; string parts were composed; haircuts were fashioned; sight was lost of the fun of youth.

2) As much as the particular equipment utilized for the capture of this rawness, the John Sears Sound has, as a distinct thread running through its resume, a decision (deliberate or otherwise) to record those bands that count among their top three associations ‘fun:’ House parties; floor shows; endless turkey puns; French bistro inspired silliness.

1) The pearly-white of Mall-Emo, with its automobile-sponsored headline tours, Guitar Magazine featurettes and TRL appeal became inexorably disconnected from the untested, youthful and simple (NOT a derisive term) source of it’s inception, leading to the inevitable dismissal of such expressions (regardless of the actual age of the composers) as ‘so emo.’

2) Is it any coincidence that all of these releases were put out on CDR (if that) and contain the hallmarks of artifact self-assembly? Each is DIY beyond any questions of authenticity.

The Tenspeeds self-titled EP is one of those records whose lo-fi pop sound turns back the physical clock to the time of zines/mail-order catalogs and the mental/cardiovascular clock to the playful optimism of the first week of summer break. Considering the band is on indefinite hiatus with guitar/vocalist Brad (ex-Rosa, the band which drummer Kirke also hailed from) relocated to Bloomington, we suggest you start your summer off with this ACES recording as a substitute.

MP3: The Tenspeeds - Build it with Bricks

The Tenspeeds EP is available at Sound Exchange, or via mail-order from passionateyouththing records. Catch recorder and Tenspeeds guitarist John Sears in what is claimed to be the final performance of his latest band, Le Thargic, tonight at Notsuoh with Cop Warmth and Chief Death Rage.

EXCLUSIVE: OLIVIA FLORES ALVAREZ’S REIGN OF DUMB OVER PRESS’ MUSIC SECTION TO END

WELL LA DE DA. Olivia Flores Alvarez, Assistant Music Editor for the Houston Press and the mind behind some of the most asinine, insulting, poorly researched and just plain shitty pieces ever penned about music in Houston is leaving the post on June 15th according to sources close to the paper. Though her campaign to keep readers uninformed and un-entertained will continue in her new role as the publication’s Night and Day editor, the respite from her baffling attempts at column space humor or insight (reprinting the lyrics to an Arctic Monkeys song with the bad words redacted, for example) is welcome.

Generally, we work pretty hard to keep The Skyline on the posi-tip. We have tossed out draft after draft after draft of analysis of the Press and Alvarez in particular’s disregard/disdain for local music because, frankly, it was hard not to get mean. Her tenure has done almost nothing to pull the lid from the face meltingly deep cauldron of great music in this town (including acts we would never cover) and expose it to a wider audience. We’re gonna just leave it at that and say that we look forward to a fresh start with the new editor, who we are informed will be announced soon.

REVIEW: HELL CITY KINGS/I AM WOLF SPLIT

In the beginning, there was Rock and Roll and there was no need for supplemental adjectives. Times were simpler then. But now, longer in the tooth perhaps, but just as vital, we find rock and roll to be like nearly anything out there – requiring clarification. Classic Rock, Hard Rock, College Rock, Indie Rock, Punk Rock, Country Rock, Christian Rock, Math Rock, Art Rock, Progressive Rock, and on and on and on. Even the great one, Billy Joel, in his bemoaning celebration of the back-beat’s diversity (‘It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me), is unable to take a completely rejectionist standpoint, employing himself a number of the quick and dubiously descriptive labels on which we all rely for such things as the sound of white boys playing with skinny ties.

Now old enough to be teased about its age with a birthday party of black balloons and greeting cards with instructions on ear-hair grooming, Rock and Roll, as an unaccompanied descriptive label, has gone full circle post-modern. Originally, “Rock and Roll” was slang from the Black Venacular to mean sex (‘rock’ being ‘shake up’ as in “rock the boat” and ‘roll’ being an English term for the nasty in use for hundreds of years, such as “roll in the hay”). So, while we may have it shatterpainted onto our brains the third part of the phrase “Sex, Drugs and….”, its pretty unlikely that very man of us drop the needle on a Roy Orbison LP and think of it as Sex Music.

No. Nowadays, Rock and Roll, and a description for a particular form of rock music, has come to describe an approach to the genre which hyper-embodies the particular cultural connotations and myths associated with the phenomenon. Sex and drugs are a part of this. So is hard living, fast dying, deals with the devil, a general toughness, the preference for volume and directness over subtlety and a predilection for living by one’s own anti-societal rules with the consequences not generally rising to the necessity of changing one’s behavior. Banging your head for an example to put meaning to our Liberal Arts mumbo jumbo? Go pick up a copy of the Hell City Kings/I am Wolf split 7”.

On it, the Kings put forth two convincing exhibits as to why they are among Houston’s best in Chuck Berry-ish parent frightening, popping up seamlessly in any coctail party (ok, Jaeger and Lone Star drinking binge) where Rock and Roll re-invigorators like Turbonegro and The Murder City Devils would be welcome. Their contributions to the split, ‘Soundtrack to the Apocalypse’ and ‘Rock it Like You Talk It’ are maximizing in their attitude, invigoratingly straight-forward in their structure and positively uninterested in navel-staring lyrical contemplation on topics such as the loss of a favorite cardigan. Streets run with blood; the devil comes calling; the fight of your life; switchblades, freight-trains and dead-end roads. The guitars blister from the heat of their licks and the gain of their overdrive; the drummer is not taking it easy.

I Am Wolf is a perfect pairing for when you flip the acetate, even though there is far greater temptation to throw the word ‘punk’ into one’s description of them (you are free to disagree – anyone who owns Damaged only so they can play ‘TV Party’ at hipster-dance parties is far from qualified to say what is and is not punk rock). Though with song titles alone (‘Devil in You’ and ‘Drinking and Thinking’) IAW lay out a convincing and fun Rock and Roll argument that refuses to use coasters on nice furniture. It too is ragged, most likely does not closely monitor compliance with the FDA food pyramid and is definitely not on a first name basis with their local drycleaner. Recommended.

The Hell City Kings/I Am Wolf split is available online from Interpunk, and features screened artwork designed by local poster hero Give Up. You can catch the Hell City Kings June 9th at Rudyard's with Whorehound. I Am Wolf's next Houston outing is June 26th with Looser Life at Notsuoh.

CAPTAIN OF CONDIMENTS! COMMANDER OF HAMBURGER! COMMADORE OF FRENCH FRIES!

Oh ketchup, though you may no longer the best selling tomato-based accompaniment in our fair nation (salsa has surpassed, alas), you still are our sentimental favorite if for no other reason than your providing a helpful pun for when one has fallen behind. So, in honor of this, national ketchup millennia, we are well dressed with a nice dollop of the red redeemer as we announce that this week we will be spreading some catch-up of our own. Beginning Monday and every day this week we will be bringing you our thoughts on five (count-em) releases worthy of your consideration from right here in the city that made James Coney Island famous. Some of these releases have been out for a while, some of them came out just this past weekend and we’ll cap the whole week off with our thoughts on the ACES new LP by the Riff Tiffs, whose release party is just a few days away. We are stoked.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: PLEASE CURE OUR SINUS INFECTION

GUH. WE HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THIS MUCH FACIAL PAIN. THE LAST TIME WE FELT THIS MUCH PAIN WE WERE IN THE HOSPITAL ON MORPHINE. THIS SUCKS. GO SEE BANDS, WE ARE GOING TO BED.

Friday

• Fired for Walking, Lick Lick and The Contigency @ Rudyards


• Houston Press Music Awards Nomination Show ft. Ghostland Observatory @ Warehouse Live

Saturday

• Nerd Flea Market & Swap Meet @ Domy Books (7am)


• Arthur Yoria CD release Party w/Spain Colored Orange, Southern Backtones, Quiet Company and Concrete Rose Cabaret @ Rudyard's


• Ms. Rosa's B-Day Bash ft. PLF, Dead Roses, The Sporatics and The Dimes @ The Southmore House


• Hell City Kings/I Am Wolf Split Release Party w/Hell City Kings, I Am Wolf, Fight Pretty, Black Past, Rats in the Attic, Cumsquirt @ Walter's

Sunday

• The Riverboat Gamblers, The Kimonos, Something Fierce and Hell City Kings @ Rudyard's


• Abstraction ft. The Dimes, Nasty Nation, Bobby DJ, 22/50 and Ceeplus Bad Knives @ The Cotton Exchange

REVEALED: FEEL GOOD HITS OF THE SUMMER FEST ARTWORK

BIG THANKS to Liz Molina (Lizfits, Noise and Smoke) for putting this together for us! More details coming soon!

GENERIC TRIBE ISSUES ANY-COLORED SCREEN CHALLENGE

Ok, so actually this is not yet another green screen video contest, but the prolific mysterions of mystery that are The Generic Tribe have issued a call to all accomplished, aspiring, affected or affectionate motion-capturerers to make a video for one of their songs. Actually any or all of their songs. And what will the champion of short-form cinematography receive as their prize? Well none other than the complete Generic Tribe catalog of all seven of their full-lengths, including the recently-ruling-our-commute The Dressmaker, the Drone and the Yellow. Plus, the Tribe assures you “credit and praise for your work.” FURTHER QUOTATION: “no rules here just art - you can put it on youtube if you want and submit by link...it's all up to you the video artist to decide how you want to make your video art, submit your video art and chose the generic tribe song you want. Can't wait to see all you work!”

You know for a fact that we’ll post the winning entry here as soon as it is announced.

In other Generic Tribe news, not content to just chill like Miller on Dressmaker’s ACES-NESS, they’ve already starting recording for their 8th record, and have posted the track ‘Angels Falling’ for your listening pleasure. SAYETH IndieJamimaMojoHand: “This is a song Scantron and I wrote about spiritual struggle.It is a simple and humble song.When we recorded it we went for an old time sound.We hope you enjoy it. We wrote the song for you.” Thanks man.

You can catch the Generic Tribe Tuesday night (May 29th) openeing for Million Year Dance and Denton's Oso Closo at Walter's.

DUMB QUESTIONS/SMART ANSWERS: THE CONTINGENCY

Every week we rack our brains to figure out who you, our attractive and hopefully non-cold suffering readers, would like to know more about. Then we ask them boring questions. This week we are all rocked like sock-hops to bring you into the mind of Bunny, guitarist, mohawkist, recordingist and standing somewhat creepily outside of Al's with a big bag-ist of The Contingency.

What are some of your favorite records lately?
I've been diggin the crap outta Amy Winehouse lately. I'm probably late on this on but that grrl can sing like baby jesus ate some crisco. Also I've been taking it back to '95 with Mineral and 400 years. If you haven't checked out Chris Simpson's new band Zookeeper..DO IT!

Are there any Houston bands who you've been digging lately?
Ryan Scroggins and the Trenchtown Texans. Probably because every tuesday I get to record them at our space at Fransiscos. Yes...you can record an album at Fransiscos. But it would really help if the crap ass metal band that practices on the first floor every tuesday around the time we're layin down vocals would...die or something equally quiet. But Ryan Scroggins and the Trenchtown Texans are the band to beat as far as potentially getting a nice chunk of spotlight. As soon as I'm done with their album, Megalith Records is puttin it out.

What's your secret Houston place?
My secret place is your pants. Or Roller Derby Bouts. As far as The Contingency goes we try to eat at Hickory Hollow once or 80 times a month. Also Beer Island kicks the ass.

What is the first sentence of the page you are on in a book you are reading right now?
"The orgies of archaic peoples are usually interpreted in a way that completely by-passes everything that I have tried to show." Erotism: Death and Sensuality by Georges Bataille

What's the best thing you have spent money on in the last year?
Dead-Hooker-Be-Gone and my new pink Daisy Rock guitar which is exactly like my old pink Daisy Rock guitar, but different pickups! Hell yeah! Dang I'm wild!

What is the best thing you got for free in the last year?
The clap. It took my mind off the crabs. And my tattoos on my legs.

What question should we ask the band next week?
How much do you love The Contingency and why does Bunny not have a girlfriend?

What does the Contingency have going on right now?
We are writing new songs more in the vain of what I wanted to do in the first damn place. Hopefully we'll be able to break into a different club and record another album before the year is up. We are in talks with Stacey Davidson about shooting a video for a song we're gonna write that will be better than anything you've ever heard. The video will be done in episodes. We're calling it "Trapped in the closet." I think it's gonna blow up. Also we got a show coming up on June 27th at Rudyards with The Girlfriend Experience from California. They are cool cats...at least over the e-mails. No tour plans for now. Maybe if more peeps came to our shows and gave us some damn love we could, but right now we's broke.

You can see for yourself just how much you love The Contingency and just how much a shame it is that Bunny is single tonight, May 18th, at Rudyards as they open a bill that also features Austin's Lick Lick and locals Fired for Walking.

VIDEO: PROGRAM ON FOX 26

Last week we told you about Program's then upcoming appearence on Fox 26's morning show (a segment called FoxRox). Well, we're over trying to sneak around Fox's no no no reposting code for the video, and have decided to surrender and just post a link to it.

VIDEO: Program - Kinky Toxin (Live on FoxRox)

In spite of their un-YouTube-ability, Fox 26 definately gets the big smiles for being the only local TV broadcaster to actually have a section of their website (and presumably their programming) dedicated to local music. Hell, they even have a MySpace page. It's still ramping up, best we can tell, but it's nice to see the folks with dollars take note of whats going on around town.

BALACLAVAS - BALACLAVAS E.P.

Some credit Sherman’s march through the South as the earliest example of Industrial Total War. Down to burn Atlanta, East to raze Savannah, and North to squeeze Lee like paste from the tube towards Grant. Deny supplies; end production; hasten ends; all in the context of a war fought as much for competing economic models as it ever was for notions of equality or human rights.

We prefer The Crimean War, however. From beneath the pudding-skin guise of defending the Holy Lands, a completely pre-Industrial pretext for conflict, Rail, Telegraph and Nursing are taken from quiet halls of theory to dirty hills of hell. Trenches are first dug for men to kill from and die in; artillery is fired to where the eyes cannot sea; musket balls are given points and barrels are rifled. Scientific enhancement of the tools of violence trips and tumbles down an ever steeper gravel path and not for a century will the restraint not to use it catch up and clutch the collar of the white coat right before the precipice.

In music, in literature, in film, and in military theory, one action in particular from this war between Imperial Russia and the armies of France, England and the United Kingdom comes down to us through the subsequent volumes of conflict, fog, spoils and victory – The Charge of the Light Brigade. Dragoons, Lancers and Hussars all, under the charge of the Lord Cardigan, hasten into a valley to deny retreating Russians of their heavy guns and during the mile gallop many hasten the denial of their own lives. Alfred, Lord Tennyson immortalizes them in prose; Iron Maiden, Megadeath, New Model Army, Pearls Before Swine and other immortalize them in song; students of the Fog of War immortalize them in countless essays. The survivors limp back, far from the Holy Land and close only to the quick consequences of Industrial war, to their camp in a Crimean valley, a valley named Balaclava.

It took us weeks to find the right words for this record, Balaclavas’ self-titled EP. In part, we are desperately late-pass in sharing our thoughts on this record because we did not understand it so easily as we should have. We understood why, like defending the Holy Land, it appealed to us. Crisply plucked guitar strings that cannot gallop fast enough to escape their own reverb and delay; drums that urge us forward though their escorting fife is absent; bass-lines that hold it all together but shouldn’t. Tracks and vocals that occasionally command us to dance, but tones and moods that cry mutiny. Yet we could not draw sense from it anymore than we could digging heels deep ever deeper into a steed’s side to speed ascension to the Holy Land above in defense of the Holy Land below.

This record made us nervous; it gave us discomforting stomach aches and questioned our ability to comprehend - it tempted us to use the words ‘avant garde’. In the end, we may be no closer than before to cracking its defenses. But its strangeness is no longer strange – it is now accustomed beauty, though we don’t know why or how that happened. It is crying out to us, and we hear its words clear as a telegraph, though their message remains in the incensed mystery of occultation. This is a record for the heat of the advance and the rain of the retreat both. For when you have a cold and when you are nursed back.

But in the local context, this is a record for this season – for this holy time to have a stack of Houston records in your heavy play bin. The year’s regiment of aces releases continues to muster towards industry and broader commerce on the horizon. Balaclavas is unique in Houston and uniquely Houston. They are a sign of these powerful times as any. Recommended.

Balaclavas’ self-titled EP is available for sale at Sound Exchange.
Stream: Balaclavas – various tracks

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: CALL YOUR MOTHER

AW YUSS CALLING Captain Swizzle Stick! Not only is this weekend the annual Art Car Parade, Notsuoh’s 12th Anniversary band marathon (still set-time free in true Notsuoh fashion - but we have heard that this is an all evening, 3 stage affair), but it’s Mother’s Day too (Kroger still has flowers). Yuss.

FRIDAY
Party at the Art Car Museum (6-9pm) ft. T&T Music Factory
Western Civilization, Explorers, The Church of Philadelphia @ Walter’s
The American Terrorist, I am Wolf @ Jet Lounge
Co-Pilot, Storms Threaten to Destroy, A Revolution of Kings, Margot @ Notsuoh
The Scattered Pages, Benjamin Wesley, Chase Hamblin @ Catalina Coffee


SATURDAY
Art Car Parade (1pm) @ Downtown and along Allen Parkway
Program, Dizzy Pilot, Cartright @ Jet Lounge
Future Clouds and Radar @ Walter’s
Ringo Death Starr, The Riff Tiffs, The Lost Keys, Cowboy Dynamite, Free Radicals, Scattered Pages, Blare ‘n' Aaron, Slo Gun, ST 37, Arthur Yoria, Space City Gamelan, El Gato Negrito, The Defenstration Unit, Babel Fish @ Notsuoh
Kings of Leon, Snowden @ Warehouse Live
Frog Eyes, Alex Delivery @ The Proletariat


SUNDAY (MOTHER’S DAY!)
The Hero Factor, Glasnost, Mechanical Boy @ The Mink
Be/Non, Record Hop, Co-Pilot @ Rudyard's
King Kong @ The Proletariat

DUMB QUESTIONS/SMART ANSWERS: MARGOT

Every Thursday (or Friday when we have to go home sick with a cold), we email a band we like some insultingly bad question and post their responses. This week, Jason and Chris of Margot heeded our call (ok, actually, we wrote them about this weeks ago but hadn't been able to use it till now). Enough qualifying for you? Ok - get to learning:

What's your favorite record lately?
Jason (drums): The Locust- New Erections
Chris (Bass): Comeback Kid- Broadcasting

Is there a Houston band who you've been digging lately?
Jason and Chris: Co-pilot

What is your day job?
Jason: Art Student
Chris: 4th grade teacher
Alex: Logistics Manager for Total Petrochemicals
Eric: Student, Dillards Stock

What websites do you frequent?
Jason: Bungee.net
Chris: Prowrestlingscoops.com

What's your secret Houston place?
Jason: Babydolls
Chris: Chance's

Who is skipping Houston on an upcoming tour that kinda has you bummed?
Jason: I don't know
Chris: Me neither

What is never far from your side?
Jason: X-box 360 hard drive
Chris: Weiner

What does Margot have in the works right now?
Eric: customized g-strings, butt plugs, penis pumps

The guys in Margot will take some time off from getting the home-made stock ready for their naughty shop to play a show tonight at Notsuoh, along with fellow ACES rockers Co-Pilot, Storms Threaten to Destroy and A Revolution of Kings. They'll also be playing the Save Our City Fest in Pasadena's Strawberry Park on May 26th, a day of music put on by the kids at FGR Productions whose lineup we will start beating you over the head with in the coming weeks.

PROGRAM, FOX AND FRIENDS

Some late breaking TIVO instructions this Friday morning. Word has come across the wires that none other than rock popsters Program will be performing live on Fox 26 today at about 8 am. Score. If you're stuck in traffic or weekly status meetings by this point in the TGIF, never fear, you can catch Program in the flesh and without commercial interruption Saturday night at Jet Lounge with Cartright and Dizzy Pilot. Program will also be rockin' it roller-rink style at June 9th Feel Good Hits of the Summer Fest. We'll try and hunt down video of this morning and get it to you quicker than a PowerPoint animated transition.

SCENE ARTIFACT: '60s HOUSTON VENUES

BIG UPS to Kurt from Sound Exchange for posting a link on Hands Up Houston to this site, which outlines some of Houston's live music venues in the 1960s. In addition to some history on places like The Catacombs, Liberty Hall and what sounds like the Super Happy Fun Land of its day, The Love Street Light Circus Feel Good Machine, there's a fun though small collection of live photographs and show posters (included are ones for MC5 and The Velvet Underground - woah). GET HISTORIC!

NEW VIDEO: THE DIMES - DELILAH

Hot from the cutting room, a new music video for The Dimes' track 'Delilah,' directed by Mark Armes. Who is that mustachioed man?! What are these killer snacks?! Will our heroes escape the Quickie Mart alive?! WATCH AND SEE!

DRAMA: PUNKS VS. OPEN MIC CLOWNS @ NOTSUOH!!

What's the worst thing about an open mic performer without a guitar? It means they are going to tell jokes instead! Whether or not that's the case, there was some serious goings on last night at Notsuoh. We'll let eyewitness Chris Ryan (Dead City Sound, Port of Lebanon and White) spell out all the details. BLOCK QUOTE:

ok so every monday night at notsuoh there is some crazy magic that goes on. mostly in the form of an open mic night hosted by this dude richie (old houston drunk art dude). the [non open mic] show last night had been booked for months, featured bands that drove all the way from portland (clorox girls) and L.A. (silver daggers, who were pretty much mind blowing), and had a decent turn out. (from here on out i will refer to them as the "punk bands").

well no one told the open mic night people, and god forbid they just let the touring bands have their show. so in true monday night fashion (rosa and i are veterans of the notsuoh monday night, we went every monday for about 2 months because inevitably something magic happened every time.) anyway in true monday night fashion richie decides that it's going to be a mix of punk show and open mic night. so around 10pm the first act, which is richie's girl friend playing out of tune violin, goes on and bores the shit out of everyone. then cop warmth plays and does the normal cop warmth thing, followed by open mic night acoustic guitar player which you can imagine is fucking wonderful. okay so etc etc this pattern continues with punk bands killing it followed by shitty open mic night acts killing whatever fun vibe had be created.

also i have to mention during this time there is an old guy going up to the punk bands while they are playing and yelling at them telling them they suck. that's when i threw him in the "pit" (dance party) during total abuse. he's pretty pissed off and starts talking shit on the mic after total abuse is done, telling them to go back to the garage. this is when i get into a shouting match with him and ask him to show us his band and his records and ask him what he has done that is so fucking great etc etc and basically tell him he is an old jaded piece of shit. so then he wanted to fight me, but he knew there were like 20 other people wanting to kick his ass so he just hit on girls for the rest of the night. but that's just a side note to the awesomeness of the rest of the night....

so anyway it's like 12:15 and i have to mention that the punk bands are all playing short sets, 10-15 minutes to make sure everyone gets to play, while the open mic people are doing the typical "i can play forever because people like me" thing, even though all night there are 3 people inside while the open mic night dudes play, and it's packed for the punk bands. so at 12:15 this girl gets up with her acoustic guitar and starts playing just really horrible shit. 45 minutes pass. not joking. she is STILL PLAYING. so one of the girls from finally punk (who is pretty wasted by this point) just walks up the stage in the middle of her song and tells her to stop playing! the girl gets REALLY pissed and starts breaking wine glasses and shit and richie (also wasted) grabs the finally punk girl and starts pulling her away from the stage and finally punk girls boyfriend (drummer of total abuse) punches richie in the face. then it's like 30 second punk band/open mic night brawl on the floor followed by the two girls screaming at each other. things calmed down a little but finally punk girl starts dancing around flipping off the open mic people while jim pirtle starts playing Baba O'Riley by The Who on the record player and there's that awesome solo guitar part and everyone starts clapping to the music and dancing around while flipping off the open mic night people. it's pretty great, but then ritchie try to grab the finally punk girl again and she spits right in his face, and he shoves her and then the whole punk/open mic night 30 second brawl happens again and richie's girlfriend drags him out of the place and silver daggers go on and destroy it followed by clorox girls ending everything with a cover of wolly bully. oh sorry, actually a half naked, barely able to stand jim pirtle ends everything singing a sloppy rendition of "light my fire" with a glass of whiskey in hand.

Mind blowing. The Rosa referred to early on in the post is none other than reliable scene photographer and Mutant Hardcore Flower Hour dj Rosaposer. It has been reported that she captured the night in film - you will see them as soon as we do.

GREAT SCOTT OF THE ANTARCTIC!

UGH. Today our intern was in charge of getting us sandwiches for lunch; he went the quick route and will never work in this town again. When a single bite into a more disgusting than usual BLT from Alonti Deli resulted in a flavor that can only be described as “limp old bacon stuffed into a gym sock”, we threw up a little in our mouths, fired out intern, and threw the sandwiches in the trash. Now, with empty bellies, we might have very well used our time to run out for a quick bite or perhaps fire off sternly worded letter to that shithole’s management. But, so chim-chim-cheree are we to share some news about Antarctica Starts Here that we’re going to go hungry and angry the rest of the day to do so.

When we last checked in with ASH, it was after a live show where they blew our designer jeans right off our designer legs. They had just added a few members and were taking some time to write, get them acclimated and all that. WELL, two months later, we checked in with Mike the bassist to get the low down on how things are progressing ahead of two Houston shows they have this week (see below).

Turns out the kids in the cold have been holed up in Big Door Studios working on three tracks (‘Caroline,’ ‘Julie’ and ‘Genesis’ – yes, all of their songs are girl’s names). They’ve got just the basics done at this part, and will be returning to Webster sometime this month to for some recording of the guitars, keyboards, vocals and associated tomfoolery. “Mixing and mastering is going to be done by Justin Burrow, our keyboard/noise man” said Mike, finally able to get a word in through our incessant paraphrasing. “Additional recording is going to be done by Jon Crosby of Vast and we may even see about getting time in at Dead City Sound.”

There are no solid release plans for the tracks at present, maybe an EP, maybe put in the vault to go towards a future full length – ONLY TIME SHALL TELL. But, there’s no cause to wait to check out an entire harem’s worth of tracks from one of our favorites as they have two (double up! Uh! Uh!) shows this week. Tonight at the Continental Club with the aforementioned Vast, and then again Thursday night with Caspian and Loren Dent at The Proletariat. They had some CDR eps last time we saw them, so take your coat and a few extra dollars. Yuss.

WOOZYHELMET: NOW 1/3 LESS SUSPECT

NOTHING makes our blood boil with the quickness like hearing that another precious precious Houstonian is packing their bags and moving away from the 713 to pastures somewhat less fertilized and decidedly suspect. Doubly so if their new mascot is a Yankee or a Met. No, we’re not ranting on about Roger “I Hawk Steaks for HEB” Clements here, we’re bemoaning the imminent departure of the fashionable, indomitable, totally unattainable and down-right chuckle-able comedienne Nancy Brown.

But as much as the Lord taketh (and man has he been takething quite a bit lately), so too does He giveth. And, when the smarter-than-an-Encyclopedia Ms. Brown takes the stage to dole out a final(?) set of guffaws, we can take some consolation in knowing that she will be followed by one gentleman in particular who has bucked the brain-train fast lane out of town.

Though he’s been calling our not-needing-rent-control city home for a while now, Tuesday night is one of the best opportunities in a while to catch Jay Crosley’s non-Jracula band Woozyhelmet live and in the air-conditioning (at Rudz) and in the midst of an ACTION PACKED lineup including Birds of Avalon (ex Cherry Valence) and Bring Back the Guns. HAHA – Jokes on YOU comedy workshop. Catch it if you can or if you haven’t already moved away.

(PS: In all seriousness, we wish Nancy and everyone else who needs to stretch their legs a bit beyond our city’s walls all our best and hope they not merely survive, but succeed; also, you are all dead to us.)
(PPS: The other non-suspect place on the map is Buffalo.)

NOT STOKED: .BELVILLE CANCELS SATURDAY

Well phoey. Totally non-kaleidoscopic riff droppers .belville have had some changes on the drum riser as of late, and, according to a bulletin they posted yesterday, weren’t going to be able to bring the top rockuledge that you deserve to their Notsuoh set on Saturday. So, reluctantly we presume, they have decided to pull out of their appearance at the venerable old Madame of Main’s 12 anniversary party this weekend. Which is a bummer because, though we still haven’t managed to catch these kids on stage, we’ve got a live recording rocking our little SkyPod that tells us it would be aces. Keep it clicked here for updates on when they’ll channel The Funland Band in the future.

Even with .bellville off the bill, the not-all-together-heavily-promoted Notsuoh 12th anniversary weekend still boasts two nights of solid lineups, including a Friday night that could essentially be subtitled "The Skyline Network Rants About Outer Space in a Podcast Lineup" MAKE THY PLANS:

Friday – Co-Pilot, Storms Threaten to Destroy, A Revolution of Kings, Margot

Saturday – Ringo Death Starr, The Riff Tiffs, The Lost Keys, Cowboy Dynamite, Free Radicals, Scattered Pages, Blare ‘n' Aaron, Slo Gun, ST 37, Arthur Yoria, Space City Gamelan, El Gato Negrito, The Defenstration Unit, Babel Fish.

Now, we have no idea what the set-times are for either night, but we hope to nail it down during the week and get back to you with something a bit more definitive soon.

FORTHCOMING: BASSES LOADED, LAS PANTERAS NEGRAS, PORT OF LEBANON

Every now and then we catch word of projects in progress that haven’t quite reached the playing live era of their rockumentary, but their membership has such outstanding pedigree we can’t help but be a little toned up by it. This weekend we learned of three such bands, and we’re all waxed up to let you in on the scoop.

First off is Basses Loaded, a quartet that features not one, not two, but three bass guitars and a drummer. Freaking you out on lead bass is Ben (The Fcking Transmissions), Lee Walker (The Kants) on the middle bass, Anna Garza (Las Panteras Negras) on the low end and presumably synching up with atleast one of the above is Mike McBike (The Kants, Ghettoblaster, Cop on Fire and about one million other bands). Sadly there’s no known recordings or even descriptions of what this sounds like, so we are moving forward with the operational understanding that each crucial jam will sound similar to Spinal Tap’s ‘Big Bottoms.’

And what, prey tell, is Las Panteras Negras? Even less is known about this quintet of Latina heat, other than their being “noisy new wave punk rock; think Erase Errata vs. Black Flag with Kim Gordon as Godmother.” Not caliente enough for you? Well, now consider staring at a stage containing artist Maria Guzman, paranormal expert Diana Perez, turntablist Maria Chavez, Kimono Gina Rodriguez-Miller and, of course, Anna Garza of Basses Loaded. YUSS.

And finally, to complete our trio of gossip masquerading as sneak preview, we come to a band so fresh from the cell block floor that they don’t even have a name yet that we know of. So, if it’s all the same to you we’ll just go ahead and call whatever it is that Roy Mata and Bret Shirley are doing Port of Lebanon in honor of their respective former bands. Ok, honor is maybe the wrong word. HEY – WHO CARES WHAT THEY’RE CALLED, WOULD RIFFAGE BY ANY OTHER NAME NOT SHRED AS SWEET?

WANTED: BASS COLORED ORANGE

Quite a weekend for the Orangemen, one minute, you’re playing Erica Cruz’s (Meowcifer) wedding (congratz, btw), the next, you’re sending out an APB for a new bass player. Yes, long-time thumper of the fours Steven Barnett has parted ways with the band to pursue other things, and while they wish him well, they’ve also got some low end to fill up – and on the double. With shows coming up this weekend, keys-and-croons Gilbert Alfaro wrote us to say that they are looking for someone experienced who is chill with their approach to practicing (actually practicing) and touring (actually touring).

So, if you play beautifully enough to get the nod from Olay, consider throwing your hat into the ring and drop the band a line at vivaspaincoloredorange@gmail.com.

ATENCION ESTE FIN DE SEMANA: USTED ES MI AMIGO!

YUSS, tomorrow is the day where Gringos celebrate Mexican independence, and everybody else just shakes their head and instead commemorates the totally non-phyrric victory of Mexican forces over the occupying armies of Emperor Napoleon III at the Battle of Pueblo. So, grab yourself something authentic like a pulque or a Miller Chill and toast our friends south of the border on this anniversary of their glory.

Friday
Mono, World Eng Girlfriend, Grails @ The Mink
The Jonbenet, Fck the Facts, 50/50, Indisgust, All Hands on Deck @ Walter’s
The Jonx, The Steed @ Behomeo’s(this was last Friday)
Panda 84, Wols, Hears of Animals, The Pixel Panda, The Wiggins @ The White Swan
The Clorox Girls, Red Dons, The Monocles @ The Proletariat

Saturday
CINCO DE MAYO @ EVERYWHERE
The Pharmacy, Storybook Weavers, Something Fierce @ Walter’s
MK Ultra CD Release Show with Cop Warmth, The Krinkles @ Notsuoh

Sunday
Houston Scooter Battalion Ride @ Beer Island (3pm)
Awesome Color, Satin Hooks, Graustark @ Rudyards
Sun Volt, The High Strung @ The Continental Club
Kid Koala @ The Mink
Gwen Stefani, Akon, Lady Sovereign @ The Woodlands

DUMB QUESTIONS/SMART ANSWERS: HEARTS OF ANIMALS

Every Thursday we subject a band we dig to some of the most boring and typical journalism 101 questions we can think of, because, frankly, we aren't that good at interviewing people. Fortunately for you, however, their responses often inform and entertain and go well with your morning cofee. This week we had the zoological pleasure of speaking with none other than Mlee Marie of Hearts of Animals.

What are some of your favorite records lately?
Lots of sadish jazz... Holiday, Mingus... some Astrud Gilberto... Serge Gainsbourg. Plastic Ono Band. Crass.

Are there any Houston bands who you've been digging lately?
Kable, Rapeworm, Question and the Marks

What's your secret Houston place?
Dona Maria taqueria.

What is the first sentence of the page you are on in a book you are reading right now?
Right now I'm reading some book about the controversial 'face on Mars'. I'm afraid if I post the sentence on here the reptilian overlords might come after me... sorry.

What's the best thing you have spent money on in the last year?
Visiting a friend in San Francisco. I have a crush on that city.

What is the best thing you got for free in the last year?
You know the most craziest thing happened the other nite at The Generic Tribe cd release - I was talking with Mojo and Scantron and my parents and we already know that we have mutual friends due to having all grown up in the Galena Park area (East Syyde), but then we somehow came to talking about one of my dad's best friends Mike from way back, and how he was one of Mojo's best friend's dad, so my dad asked if Mojo had ever heard of the group Wolf Rabbit - my dad and Mike's experimental, avant gardeish band from the 70's - and Mojo was like, yeah Scantron just remastered the tapes! I had been wanting to do this for the last year, but for some reason or another wasn't able to aquire the tapes, and how freakin random that I have been playing shows with these guys who have been mastering the music that my dad made 30 years ago!! So, that will probably be the coolest thing I will have aquired for free so far this year.

What question should we ask the band next week?
What five SONGS (name the performer as well, please) would you want to have with you if you were stranded on a desert island?

What do you and Hearts of Animals have going on right now?
Just made mewsounds with my little brother - it was a one day project we did in one take. Also doing some random projects with my friend Mark - also known as Oculust Sinister..... Working on mastering my Lemming Baby cd for Hearts of Animals.

You can catch Hearts on Animals, along with Panda 84, Wols, The Pixel Panda and The Wiggins, tomorrow, May 4th, at the White Swan.

EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: SPAIN COLORED ORANGE FIGHTS CANCER!

WELL WELL WELL. With Hollywood already reaching into the Houston talent pool this year, is it any suprise that Madison Avenue isn't that far behind? The folks at Olay skin care, as part of Skin Cancer Awareness Month, put together a little PSA (directed by Whitey of Jackass, no less) that features none other than the track "Who am I?" from the forthcoming Spain Colored Orange LP. WAY TO GO OUR TEAM!

CZECK IT: SLOVAKS ALL UP IN THIS STUDIO RIGHT HAR

Ah Slovakia. We liked you so much more when you were just a peaceful mountainous backwater of the Hapsburg Empire, with your burgeoning little villages and ridiculous castles. But then the damn Ottomans had to go bust it into Hungary, causing them to move the royal seat to Bratislava, and, frankly, things haven’t been the same since. We’re bummed.

But YUSS, there’s some good tunes out there for when, whether from the rain in the sky or the drops in your eyes, you’re bummed and you don’t much wanna put on the apron and the heavy gloves and work the anvil all day. And we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that some pretty good clockwork in that vein is on its way from the wickedly non-Jannisary using kids in the Slovak Republic. That’s right, the band once known as Slovak Girl is hunkering down in bassist Steve Christensen’s home studio to do some mixing on their forthcoming LP.

The not yet titled but potentially named “Slovak Girl” full length was recorded in both a Midtown home-studio and at Sugarhill (and we’re told it may even include some old 4-track recordings from way back in the day) over the past few years. While the track-listing hasn’t been totally worked out, this is the sneak peak possible lineup that we were given:

1. Barcelona
2. East German West German
3. The Netherlands
4. Brilliant Finnish Day
5. Alexandria
6. Paris in the Spring
7. Stranded in Auschwitz
8. Wimbeldon Meth Lab
9. Spain
10. Camp Albania
11. Britains Last Zealot

Sadly, you won’t be able to take this sonic European tour until perhaps September, when they expect the album to be ready. And with no shows on the calendar, we can’t tell you when you can go where to get in on a Chevy Chase burette escapade of your own. Fortunately, however, there are a few of these tracks up on the ubiquitous MySpace player for your streaming pleasurehood. We’re pretty stoked on what we’ve heard from these turners of the tide so far, and are looking forward to more.

BUILD YOUR OWN BRIGHT BOX SET OF LEARNING

We enjoy our completist mindset. Since time immemorial (ok, since we were kids, but immemorial is a rad word) we have oft found ourselves behaving no different than a junkie-collector of beanie babies (or were they bears? We can’t remember/be bothered to look it up), coughing up ghastly sums of money to get the cassette that has this b-side or the cd-single that has that remix. Fortunately, we’ve chilled out a bit since then, but that doesn’t mean that won’t travel to a parallel dimension of stupor and near black-out consciousness should the opportunity to get the whole shebang appear on the cheap.

Well, fortunately for us and Bright Man of Learning fans everywhere, you are now free to fulfill your full-set fantasies and totally for free. Yes, tip your cap to Mr. Marshall Preddy, BMOL frontman, and early adopter of every web-based technology that you may or may not be using yourself in six months. Among them is Virb, a new social networking site along the lines of MySpace, but one that has a number of advantages (we would actually switch to it if there were more folks aboard), including the ability for bands to post their entire catalog and give the songs away if they so choose.

And choose the Bright Men have, placing the entirety of their Kicker Wisdom and Great Breakfast recordings (both originally recorded under the name Chasmatic), plus a healthy chunk of their latest self-titled effort up there for you to download. So – Get to collectin!

In other Bright Men of Learning news, they’re currently in the midst of recording their next full length with Chris Ryan at Dead City Sound. (Ben Murphy has asked to borrow our tone tubes – we are stoked.) You can catch these smart guys of trivia at the upcoming Feel Good Hits of the Summer Fest, or, most likely, at some other show they may schedule between now and then. Yuss.

Download: Practically the entire BMOL Catalog

ANNOUNCED: FEEL GOOD HITS OF THE SUMMER FEST!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. We are as pleased as Deleware Punch to be the first to annouce the 2007 Official Feel Good Hits of the Summer Fest, Saturday, June 9th, centered around the Proletariat. This is not going to be your typical all-day Proletariat show by any stretch, and we are still getting the details all worked out. In the meantime, we can announce the first batch of confirmed bands. Ladies and Gentlemen, start your Picnic Baskets:

Spain Colored Orange, Paris Falls, The Kimonos, Tody Castillo, Western Civilization, The Watermarks, Arthur Yoria, Bright Men Of Learning, Dizzy Pilot, Program + MORE TO BE ANNOUNCED!

While we wish we could take credit for this event, and we are mud-pit happy to be involved, credit where credit is due goes right to the feet of Gilbert Alfaro (Spain Colored Orange) who put together this fine fine line-up. So, mark your calendars, ready your sunscreen(!), and keep your web browser pointed in this general direction as everything comes together.

PS - Happy May Day.