HOOTENANNY 2: TWOTENANNY! UPDATES!

AVAST! The next HOOTENANNY is a mere MONTH AWAY! NO! We are not talking about the new Weezer tour of the same name (Sorry Weezer, Awesome! played as you during the first Hootenanny, but if you would like you can play as Awesome! at HOOTENANNY 3: TROITENANNY!). We're talking about that ultra plus super max fun night where some of our favorite Houston bands get all under the covers by playing a set as one of their fav bands. First off: Lineup Updates.

Joining the lineup are two new additions since the last time we wrote: Welfare Mothers and Wild Moccasins. Now, the Welfare Mothers are going to be breaking the stage lights as none other than Mr. Johnny Cash. Stoked. Wild Moccasins are still keeping it a little close to the chest on their choice... but could it be, could the rumors be true? Streetlights? People? We won't stop believing.

Also in TWOTENANNY! news, you'll recall earlier that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are being performed by Tody Castillo and "Friends." Well, sorry 'bout that Ross and Rachel cause we just got news as to who these so-called "Compadres" actually are. Read em and weep like a Joey spin-off: Benjamin Davis Murphy (Bright Men of Learning), Arthur Yoria, Kurt Coburn (The Scattered Pages) and Travis Foster. Talk about a super group! They should have just played as the Traveling Wilburys. For your memory banks, here is the full lineup:

American Sharks as The Cars
Buxton as Bjork
Custom Drinker (Marshall Preddy) as Rod Stewart
Flowers to Hide as The Cure
The Kimonos as Blondie
Paris Falls as Rush
Sharks and Sailors as The Police
Today Castillo and Friends as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Welfare Mothers as Johnny Cash
Wild Moccasins as TBD

Woah. Just take a step back at look at that lineup. Damage man, Damage. TWOTENANNY! will once again be at the Mink's Backroom, both upstairs and down with staggered sets, on Saturday July 26th and will set you back a measly $5. We'll have more details when the date gets closer. Party.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE LIKE A PRELUDE TO GUANAJUATO

YUSS. Man. Last night was like Friday. Jenny Westbury, Black Snakes + Kangaroos, Arthur Yoria, Woozyhelmet... plus the bands at those shows we didn't even see!How could this weekend possible get any better? Oh, we know, maybe it's the countdown to going to Mexico for a week to hang out, walk the streets, and drink Buzz Aldrins with our Minka. Yes, that would be about the only way to top it. Sorry 'bout the boast post, let's get to what comes first!

FRIDAY
The Wiggins @ Discovery Green
Ever since we saw the plans for Discovery Green, the whips as coaches new park in Downtown, we've been thinking "hmm. What band would be on the top of our list to see play the outdoor stage there?" Well, it turns out, we didn't have to decide, because the kind and loading dock-having folks down at the Fresh Arts Coalition are having a little schebang in the park this evening, and they've called on Diverse Works to pick some entertainment of their own - the always out of place and therefore always right where he belongs one man rock-it-to-ya band known as The Wiggins. DOOGIE! Totally Free. Totally Starts at Seven. Totally hope we understand the combination of community groups that put this together. Party. PS - It's cheel if you miss this show cause The Wiggins are playing at their own 7" release party Monday at the Mink.

Arthur Yoria and Tody Castillo @ Avante Garden
So. Arthur Yoria started his set last night (just him, a drum machine and Stanley Kibrik's delay pedal) with "Lipstick Smiles" which morphed right into "I Wanna Be Sedated" and finally into a feedback drone noise exercise then suddenly BAM. Done. Crazy. He told us that he and Tody (whose new recordings, we are told by a source of authority are kinda crazy good - and have you been checking our Yoria's weekly MP3 releases too? Daaaamn 28s - where were we, oh yeah, what are they gonna do) are gonna keep it 'loose' and just have a good time about it. Noice.

Also
Lisa's Sons, BLACKIE + DJ sets from Jacob Calle, Bucky, Damon Allen @ Boondocks
They will be giving away iheartcomix cds, and it's a free show. Tuff.

Ladyheat, The Tontons, Piano Vines, Earnie Banks @ The Mink

The Red Dons, The Estranged, Something Fierce, Teenage Kicks @ Rudyards

SATURDAY
Saturday Secret Show @ The Shady Tavern
You know, last weekend we were at the SSS, as we often are, with a relatively small and stable group of people (if you ever want to see Lennie Briscoe, Sew What or Elaine Greer in person, this is your best bet to do so). One of our compatriots, whose fuzzy hat and white shoes shall remain nameless, commented that the one thing people really don't seem to understand about the SSS is the brilliant opportunity to "get totally wasted in the daytime." This is true. Were the bands and the grill not enough, The Shady Tavern does setups, and so if the day drink is your thing, take a bottle and a few bucks and its kind of a cheap and awesome mini-festival afternoon. We don't have any hints on this week's lineup yet, but hopefully Mr Secret will lay down one or two in the comments.

Glass Candy, Farah, TFT(?) @ MFAH
RETURN of the Starbucks Mixed Media Series at the Museum of Fine Arts, this time featuring the artist who we own more vinyl of than we would probably otherwise admit, Glass Candy. Seriously, where did all these 7" and 12"s come from?! The really odd thing is, that they are so much better on stage than on record too (actually, their last release was a big step in the right direction). We think it's the crowd - that whole energy cornball thing. Whatevz. We're just stoked that no local bands with a bad word in their name are on the bill. (PS - Bad Knives, PRKL8TR and Juan the Terrible on the decks wuut).

ALSO
Hardhats and Hotties Party @ Spacetaker
Not really a music thing (although DJ Sun and the Soular Grooves team will be on hand), but it is a semi-fund raiser for Spacetaker's Artist Resource Center, which is a cool thing.

Keiji Haino (acoustic set) @ The Menil Collection
Free. 7:30pm

Faun Fables, The Invincible Czars, The Judas Bear @ The Mink

True Colors Tour featuring Cyndi Lauper, The B-52s, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, Wanda Sykes and Carson Kressley @ Cynthia Woods Mitchell

SUNDAY
Tom Waits @ Jones Hall
WHO? Tickets for this will be available for $10 from people outside who were not admitted due to dressing up like a mule.

also
Real Live Tigers, Redbear, Sabra Laval, Cory Derden @ Notsuoh

Boston, Styx, Night Ranger, Alan Parsons and Rick Derringer @ The Woodlands

GLITTERATTI: SCENE LOOKING BEAUTIFUL

Joe Mathlete and Carlos (Young Mammals) strike a pose at the Act of God show.


Shaggy and Bogle of Bring Back the Guns contemplate the pint? Half ready for a refill?


Act of God.


LOOK AT THOSE HOT SHIRTS, LOOK! adr (The Skyline Network), James Love (Act of God, Golden Axe) and Kyle (Blades) model the latest in FASHION.


REAL MEN WEAR PINK. And Brad Moore (Rudyards) shows off just how real a man he is at the Saturday Secret Show.


The Tontons take the stage by pointy red guitar at the Secret Saturday show.


LOOK! It's Ben of Basses Loaded playing the Saturday Secret show. His side project, Strings and Fingers, is a solo act, but he still manages to play a full bands worth of instruments at the same time. EPIC.


Shoo (Danseparc) and a newly cropped Jay Merrit (LOLPLANTS) destroy all robots at LA Lance and Lyndsey's wedding. Photo by Carrie Murphy


DJ Paramour wrecks shop at Annam Maria and Kimmy's Ghetto Trashed Sweet 16 Birthday Party at Leon's Lounge. Photo by Camille.


Marshall of Bright Men of Learning enjoys a drink on the Poison Girl patio with Jordan, his lovely new bride. Congratz kids!


SCOOTERATTI! The planet saving gas sipping personal transports of Bring Back the Gunners Shaggy and Matt Brownlie, spotted outside Franciscos.


Chris Ryan (Black Congress) is not at a loss for Bad Words. Photo by Jordan Graber.

BONUS VIDEO:

Joe Mathlete, Jay Crosley (Woozyhelmet) and Shaggy (Bring Back the Guns) tear through a version of Michael Row the Boat Ashore in the style of the new ripping ROUNDCORE taking the nation by storm. Video by Elissa Brown.

VIDEO: ACT OF GOD LIVE @ RUDYARDS

Weeeell, it ain't the best video, and we here are the first to admit that no microphone, let alone a tiny tiny one built into a digital camera, could ever hope to capture the punishing shredertainment that is an Act of God performance. But, given how rare they are and how few of you were fortunate enough to be able to see Mr. Love tear it up last night, we thought we would do our good dead for the day and post it here for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

REVIEW: FUTURE BLONDES - 1111/UNITY PURE EPs

To the particular vein of Houstonians whose circle we travel in, those local acts whose prominence extends outside the beltway have done so as purveyors in the grab-bag category often given the sharpie treatment of "outsider music;" think Jandek, Kable and Daniel Johnson. Indeed, the most favorable and widespread press coverage of artists from our city as of late continues to be among folks like Indian Jewelry, Jana Hunter, Insect Warfare and Rusted Shut who, though they may fall well enough in the broadly defined category of 'indie' and appropriate for outlets like Pitchfork and Paper Thin Walls, are nevertheless still too far to the left of the dial to ever be imaginable next to a truck commercial on LA's INDIE 103.1 FM. Given that, it's not terribly surprising that Domokos, the one-named but many-alter-egoed crafter of decidedly acerbic sounds, is not only so well known locally (he was once a candidate for musician of the year in the Houston Press Music Awards, after all), but that even folks who might not be able to ingest more than a few moments of his music still consider him a key fabric to the tattered tapestry of our scene.

Future Blondes is Dom's latest project (he's also involved with the aforementioned Indian Jewelry and Rusted Shut, and has toured and been involved with far to many local and national acts to bother listing). Though the credits on the insert for 1111/Unity Pure list a number of collaborators (and their MySpace lists over two dozen, including a pair responsible for "time travel" and one for "hair/drone"), the strong similarities in the electro sound palette between these recordings and those for A Pink Cloud, his previous solo outing, are unmistakable. This is vintage Dom, but with a fresh take on his approach to 'noise' both structurally and sonicly (and believe us when we say we are not getting into a discussion of whether this is "noise music", what that label even means, etc etc etc etc).

To understand, A Pink Cloud was, in many ways, a Sufic exercise. Its overdriven beats and and disorienting wash of tone repeat, almost without variation, in tight circles like an angry mechanized riveter at the mouth of a river of endless aluminum. To these loops, hulking green machines perform as Whirling Dervishes, repeating the name of Allah while spinning in circles towards a dizzying trance where the self and the ego are centerfuged away and only His presence remains. Like a Rothko, the music of A Pink Cloud is inscrutable, and meaning is almost entirely dependent on what the consumer brings to the composition rather than any intent of the artist to communicate a truth.

And while there is a good deal of this beginning, middle and endlessness to be found on 1111/Unity Pure ("Fla 012 Side A" and "Road to Heaven," stick out in our minds), there's a much greater sense of movement on these EPs. Part of this comes from a greater use of nuance, more richly layered compositions where elements come and go and change as they do. And while tracks like "Biaggio Pummel 1" and "Escape 4" are very loud and very distorted, there is no longer the sense that the production choice was made to run each individual instrument through a Tubescreamer pedal, and then the final mix through one more time just for good measure. The latter is a good example of how Future Blondes differs from A Pink Cloud in terms of the interjection of new elements into the spinning tires of drone. There is a violence, an anger in the splicing and slashing of harrowing heavily processed vocals into the midst of the tune, a jarring effect that you don't really come across in APK recordings.

Whats perhaps most striking about this record is how accessible some of the tracks are, even to softie pop lovers like us who are able to set aside our being miffed about their being no imminent Western Civilization release only upon hearing the phrase "Papermoons full length coming soon." "2016 P.I.R.O.S." or "Future Blondes" would not sound out of place if slipped in between The Orb's "Pomme Fritz" or "Outlands" (and yes, to jog your memory, this is the same The Orb that brought you "Little Fluffy Clouds"). People who like Aphex Twin in the Come to Daddy era would most likely find a similar satisfaction in tracks like "Migration." Now, both of these bands are pretty far from 'the outside;' they've both been on MTV and their songs used in television commercials (Aphex Twin's "B4" in an anti-drug commercial, wtf). And that, we guess, speaks to the power of this kind of music, that something so deliberately beyond unstudied comprehension or classic pop-music structure can underpin even so base a message as the marketing of consumer goods and behavior. 1111/Unity Pure (which, by the way, is sold together as a two-disc set at Sound Exchange) is difficult but rewarding listening, and you won't probably get much satisfaction out of it if you just put it on to ignore and do housework. It won't be for everyone, but it just might be for you and one or two of your sometimes cryptic and unknowable moods. Recommended.

You can catch Future Blondes June 26th at Numbers (for the Free Press' weekly Recession Thursdays show) along with A Thousand Cranes, TENSE, Balaclavas and Voidmate.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: THANKS TO DADS EVERYWHERE

Updated. Well, our WEEK OF GARAGE ROCK REVIEWS OF ROCK WEEK is winding to a close, and we’d like to take a second out here and give a big thanks to our Dads and all the Dads that made life possible. Thanks for everything, seriously. And also, for us not starting a garage band in your garage when we were young – you’re welcome. Enjoy the stuffed grape leaves. But there’s a weekend a brewing, and we need to let the people know about the ROCK. Wish you were here.

FRIDAY
Riddle of Steel, Sharks and Sailors, Motion Turns it On @ Walters
Motion Turns it On is about to head out on tour. Brave, with gas prices being what they are – send them off right, with coffers full and spirits high. Also, have you heard the new Sharks and Sailors stuff? No? Too good to listen to Tite Jams Radio? Well, you should, because it’s the jam. Party.

Welfare Mothers, Black Black Gold, Guitars, DJ Suzi Puke @ River Oaks Theater
Great Venue, great acts, great axes. Starts at midnight, and remember that River Oaks has a full bar.

Also
Fat Tony, You(Genious), DeeRail, Kam @ The Mink

SATURDAY
Saturday Secret Show @ Shady Tavern
We got this tip from the organizers:

yozer. this week there is a TON of shit. some acoustic dude i dont know. obviously TONS of shit. a new solo project from a member of bases loaded, and a solo dude who hasn't played out in years but is awesome, he used to be in a band last summer? what? wait and see!

As always, bands start at two and the bar does set-ups. Yuss.

Black Math Experiment’s Final Show @ The Mink
Yep. Their final show. Bummer, but that’s the circle of life we guess. They’ll be no doubt rolling out their many fan favorites from over the years and pushing it to the limit like a flashdancer. Not to be missed.

Miss Leslie (CD Release Show) @ The Continental Club
You know, we were always fans of bands like BR-549, so it goes to follow that we tap the steel-tips to Western Swing stalwarts like Miss Leslie. Aren’t we all a little bit country, after-all.

Also:
Extra Golden @ The Orange Show
Chicago, The Doobie Brothers @ The Woodlands

SUNDAY
Dysrhythmia, AWAKE and ACT of God @ Rudyard's
You know, last night we were watching the fourth Die Hard movie, which is kind of one of the best movies of all times and could lead us to question our slavish devotion to the science fiction cannon of Vin Diesel. We've been so distracted by how BA it was that we totally forgot to mention this equally Yippie Ki Yay show. Dude. Act of God never plays anymore, btw.

Teenage Kicks, Boats!, PMRC, The Caprolites @ The Mink
PUNK ROCK WRITERS BLOCK!

Rancid, Complete Control, Deathbed Repentance, Hell City Kings (aftershow) @ Warehouse Live
It’s kind of a given that Jay Merritt and Will Adams will be at this show.

REVIEW: THE CAPROLITES - GREY GHOST #55

Ahh The Caprolites. We've been waiting to review their disc for this week, GARAGE WEEK OF REVIEW OF ROCK WEEK, but in the interim, there was some silly drama between us and them. Unfortunate. You see, when people get sensy fensy, or generally are guilty of taking the internet seriously (which we most assuredly have been OJ of), you pretty much have to recuse yourself from any attempt at objective criticism. Let's face it, they called us cock-blowing do-nothings, and that does not lend itself to any detachment. It's not like we're Rolling Stone or Pitchfork or something - we don't have an editorial review board to make these sorts of judgments - just alot of money and a really big hot tub.

But we really wanted to review this and get the word out. We were, afterall, big fans of The Sporatics, and seeing as how The Caprolites are mostly the same band with a matching personnel addition and subtraction, we hatched a plan to remove ourselves from the process. So, what we did instead was use a broadcast picture message text advertising a plethora of liquids at the Skyline Network World International Extreme Headquarters, and created a focus group out of those who answered the siren's call (New Order reference completely un-intentional). Our final group of four reviewers get to retain both the beers and make-shift Joneses they were able to drink and their anonymity. And you, dear readers, get as close to an objective review of Grey Ghost #55 as we could figure out how to do. Here is the transcript of their real-time comments while listening to the EP, track by track.

Track 1 - LSD Killed My Mod

- High school marching band snare.
- LSD?
- LSD?
- I did LSD, it was nothing like this.
- Did John Sears record this? [Editors' Note: YES]
- How long is this song the same thing over and over?
- It's like LSD because at some point you start asking yourself when will it be over.
- Not a bad [song] part at all, just shouldn't have done it five times.
- It's the whole song?
- Kind of rocking
- It felt so good to them, they kept doing it.
- [in person on LSD voice] Oh shit did we just do this? No, lets do it again. Oh shit did we just do this? No, let's do it again.
- Woah did you see that?
- Are you still on acid?

Track 2 - Shake It

- I like this one
[focus group is hand-clapping along to the beat]
- This makes me wiggle
- It's a surf song
- I think they might be a surf band.
- I like the funky bass line
- Me too
- I see what you mean about the lyrics
[more group hand clapping]
- They're all kids, right?
- Maybe they're so ADD that they can only interest themselves playing the same parts.
- I like this one.
- Woah another part!
- It's a good party jam.
- What's the dance where you go like this [swings arms up and down]?
- The Monkey
- It seems like you could do The Monkey to this.
- Or The Swim
- It seems like a bunch of kids in the 60s, no the 50s, like Greasers. [This song] may bring the Greasers and the Soches together.
- This song will bring together the Sharks and the Jets.
- I like this song.
- If you have two gangs in formation facing off and snapping at each other, it seems like Gidget would come out and put this on and then there would be a beach dance party and then everything would be ok.
- They would drink malts together
- It's grungier than that.
- They would bust out knife combs.

Track 3 - I Do What I Want

[track starts out with band member saying 'Phantom of the Opera']
- haha stupid.
- Theater! Drama!
- They got the whole riff thing down.
[Focus group members bob their heads to the song]
- This could be adr's theme song.
- This is my new favorite party band.
- If they weren't such assholes on the [Hands Up Houston message] board, everyone would love them.
- Isn't this basically the Black Lips, like kind of a shitty pop band that supposedly parties but are actually 16?
- You want a Motrin?
- Ibuprofen and alcohol isn't bad.
- You know how many I have taken today?
- [playfully sings lyrics] I'm so drunk, I'm so high, I just wanna get some
- [playfully mimics lyrics] I'm 18, I'm so young, I'm so dumb, I got a guitar. Naah, it's not that bad.
- It's ok. I would never buy this record or put it on or stay and watch the show, but it isn't terrible. I have a different kind of ADD and I don't have time for this.
- I like this song.
- It's like that South Park where Cartman is all "I do what I want."
- I like the lyrics, hahah.
- I love these kids.
- I do what I want too, which is why I won't listen to this record.
- It's like they just discovered they're adults. I'm middle age, you can't tell me what to do. You know what it is, it's not super punk rock to say 'I do what I want' when you're 18. It's super punk rock to be Matt Murillo (The Ka-Nives) and be that way. "I'm 35 and I do what I want." When The Ka-Nives do it, it's funnier. When you're 18, you're supposed to do this.
[someone drinks a large bug in their drink, a roach, and everyone freaks out]
- Maybe we're too old to like this and that's why.
- We're old.
- I could totally see being into this when I was younger, even in my 20s, but not now. It's totally whatever though, it's fine.
- I can't believe they haven't started selling hamburger phones at Urban Outfitter yet.
- Let's go to a punk show.
- Let's go to Fitzgeralds.
- Let's go to sleep.

Track Four - Not Quite Right

- What was that sound?
- An elephant fart maybe?
- Is that [the person playing the bass] Roy Mata (Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Black Congress)?
[people mimic the way Roy shakes his head from side to side when he plays]
- It's the same thing, more of the same.
- The things that need to be said about this song were said about the other songs.
- It sounds like something from the 70s on vinyl that Larry Pirkle would find and be excited about.
- I like the other songs better, don't like the vocals.
- It's not quite right.
- I wish my High School garage band had sounded like this, like an authentic 70s band. I am really not the best person to ask about this, as I am not into garage bands.
- I am glad to have heard so I know what it sounds like.

There you have it. Our Focus Group's thoughts on the Caprolite's Grey Ghost #55 EP. Because this is a Grey Ghost it was in a limited run of 13 copies, all of which were placed at Domy Books, and none of which may still be there (but it never hurts to call them and ask). If not, you can actually download all these songs from their MySpace, or perhaps they'll have something to sell at their show Sunday at the Mink with PRMC, The Takes, Teenage Kicks and Boat. Thanks again to our focus group (sorry about the pizza - Red Barron FTW), and because, in the end the positives outweighed the negatives, we're going to go ahead and give this release a Recommended.

REVIEW: WELFARE MOTHERS - LONG BROWN HAIR 7"

You know the one thing that those kickball games that Robin Rubber Duckie organizes are missing? (Ahem - Pause for a minute for some disastrously overdue praise to the whips for Miss Robin. Not only does she do the whole kickball thing, but she was the lady behind the inner loop-wide game of Assassin last year. Her organization of epic non-booze fueled fun is so positively wholesome that we kind of feel like kind of a shithead ordering shots of Jaeger from her. But, uh, back to what her kickball games are missing). Entrance songs. You know, like how they used to always play U2 for Biggio when he strolled up to the plate, or when Jose Lima would wind up they would do that little Casa Ole jingle (fresh too-day, TODAY!)

Granted, the one time we went to one, there was a drum circle operating in the immediate vicinity, but we are going to come right out and say that nothing from the mind of Arthur Hull would ever get us sufficiently pumped to do the three step trot and then rocket one deep into left field. No, we think that, this week anyways, if we did get invited back to one of those lazy Sunday games, and we were asked to provide a tape to play when the time came for us to deliver a crushing offensive maneuver, we'd prolly pick Long Brown Hair by the Welfare Mothers.

The A-Side of this, their first release, is rumble tumble fun, polished like a rock in a tumbler (i.e. from hard knocks and not with some goop and a handkerchief). The two chord main riff is pure power-pop bliss, as catchy as The Knack or The Romantics at their finest, but with just enough grit to be sure they never end up in a Sun Kissed commercial. On the flip, "Bloodsucker" takes the unexpected step of adding an acoustic guitar to the band's otherwise garage-issued vox/bass/drums/electric guit setup. The percussive strumming (you can't really hear to full body of the guitar, just the scraping of the pick over the strings) adds to the rambunction , and adds to the sense that the van could careen of the road at any given moment.

We would imagine that, if people were to levy a criticism against this record, it might be "dude should take singing lessons." But, given the snotty snarl in his voice, we would imagine the reply might include instructions on where exactly those particular lessons should be placed. It works with the music, and it works for us even if it wouldn't for Simon Cowell. Relief. Both these tracks sound so good no doubt in no small part due to the fact they were recorded at Sweatbox in Austin by Tim Kerr (who, we shouldn't need to remind you, was part of the legendary Texas punk act the Big Boys and recorded more than his fare share of great sounding Fatal Flying Guilloteen tracks. RIP?)

You can get the Welfare Mother' Long Brown Hair 7" at Sound Exchange, or at their midnight show tomorrow @ River Oaks Theater with Black Black Gold. Recommendo Maestro!

STREAM: Welfare Mothers - Various Tracks

REVIEW: SOMETHING FIERCE - MODERN GIRL EP

ATTN: STEVEN FIERCE. ATTN: NIKI.7. ATTN: DRUMMER WITH THE BIG RED HAIR THAT WE PRESUME HAS A NICKNAME OF SOME SORT BUT WE AREN’T AWARE WHAT IT IS: We need to talk. You see, ever since the events of 2/3, the particulars of discourse about this town has changed. Changed significantly. And, on your new otherwise Rack of Casta hot new EP, Modern Girl, you have a song called “Hey Houston” that contains some un-patriotic criticism of our town. Remember Something Fierce, to love something is to embrace it unquestioningly with freedom, and not to point out ways in which it could be improved. You have to understand that you go to rock with the scene you have. Your words give comfort to our enemies, especially Ume and The Sour Notes who should never have learned the lesson that it is possible to make even better music in Austin than they were making before treasonously moving there. We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.

The Constitution may not be a suicide pact, but the freedom to love the Greater Houston Partnership is. Remember too that freedom of expression is a right, not a privilege, and like other rights it can be taken away faster than you can say ‘hebus corpus’ should you not be privileged enough. Also, we have seen you out on the town with drive-by liberal media journalist Dusti Rhodes, so we must therefore take it as a justice-y truth that you hate all things Patriotic and Houston including the San Jacinto Monument, Junction Jack the Astros mascot, the local Municipal Utility District and Jenny Westburry. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you no longer wear an enameled Mayor White lapel pin. Why do you hate our freedom?

But for serious – do we even need to review this EP? It’s from Something Fierce, after all, and it continues to sharpen the trajectory of their already catchy-as-all-hell pop garage punk whateverness. The songs here take everything that we love about Come for the Bastards and the Teenage Ruins 7" and pistol-whips it up a notch. Sure, eventually it behooves our un-hoofed trio to branch their sound out from the original intent they have now mastered, but it’s not like they’re even on their second full-length yet. We are stoked.

Do we even need to review this EP part two: It’s totally free. See, if we had said that at the beginning you would have just clicked and downloaded and could have saved yourself the trouble of reading all this. Sometimes the notion of a ‘free album for download’ makes us think ‘oh great more crap to clog up our iPod.’ So not the case. We’re not sure WHY you would make your entire EP available for free while you’re still in the process of potentially having it released, or atleast until we understood the intent, to promote the new houstonpunk.com message board. Giving away your hard work to try and bring people together, create some more dialogs and a tighter, more connected, more fun scene? Now that’s Patriotism. Like a powerdance winner, RECOMMENDED TO THE EXTREME.

NOTE: To Clarify and so there is no doubt in your mind, no one knows more about what is going on in this town than Dusti Rhodes, who also does a hell of a good job giving locals their due. Props.

Download: Something Fierce - Modern Girl EP

GLITTERATI: HOT PEOPLE WE LIKE TO LOOK AT

COUPLE? We have no idea. But we dig HOTNESS whenever we see it, and could there be a hotter man than Matt Tantillo (Paris Falls, Defend the Ghetto) or woman than Michelle (Poison Girl)?! PARTY CALL US!

PS - MATT! STOP MAKING FUNNY FACES

REVIEW: THE MONOCLES - OUT OF YOUR MIND 7"

You know when ever people write about garage rock, they always talk about it in waves. Need proof? Keep reading. First there's that whole golden era back in the 60s. Then there's the wave in the 70s. Then one in the 80s. Then one in the 90s. Then the one from a few years ago that made lots of people with the definitive article in the front of a noun lots of money. Is this it? Or rather, if there's always a garage wave, how do we know exactly when one ended and the next began? I guess they're like ocean waves that way, they just kinda keep coming and while you know where the crest and the gully is, you can't really create some sort of neat and tidy real-world demarcation to say where one begins and the other ends. There are no lines in the sand, only foam rushing from place to place.

If we could drop our bobber in the endless ebb and flow at a certain point, we'd prolly pick Mudhoney's Superfuzz Bigmuff + Early Singles as the first time garage rock caught our attention and stuck around like swimmer's ear. There's a great quote about this period of the band, which we will summarize from memory as follows: "You've got songs about dogs. You've got songs about being sick. You've can play five chords, but you only use three in each song." We feel like this boils down our affinity for garage music rather eloquently: In other words, it's simple music, played far heavier than its subject matter. But with Mudhoney, there was always that lyrical and compositional darkness that set it apart from other rockers of the lube joint. (Indeed, that feint towards the shadows and geographic locality alone may be the reason why the band ended up with the Grunge label more than the music itself - I mean, do they really have all that much in common with Pearl Jam?) "Touch me I'm Sick" is really a pretty unpleasant song, certainly in no danger of veering off into into Frat or Party rock. And it's this same dissonance and distance from celebration that we think is part of why we enjoy this 7" from The Monocles.

Recorded at Pigeon Eater Studios here in town, the title track quickly sets up what to expect. What you notice immediately is how the vocals are wrapped in a layer of effects, separating you, almost disconcertingly, from the lyrics and the performer. With a Born Liars song, for example, you might picture yourself up on stage dancing among them, but here the vocals and the way the guitars drag the drums along, you can be forgiven for thinking that no, there's something a bit more weighty going on here - maybe it's best if take it in rather than trying to somehow incorporate my own private celebration into the performance.

Tonight follows suit, tapping into the same set of inappropriately workhouse pop chords that bring to mind Butch Vig-era Sonic Youth, though with decidedly more straight-ahead structures. The lyrics are about confusion and displacement, and the music backs it up. "Darken Your Door" gets back to our original premise, and why we've enjoyed this release so much. It's a simple song (and note, please, that simple is not a bad thing AT ALL) with a catchy riff about something as mundane as a "rip in the couch." But though it couldn't be sillier if it was a lament about a car with a thousand clowns in it, there's something more, something unfortunate and not joyous about what we're hearing. We can't quite put our finger on it, but we know for sure that we, too, don't want anything to do with that rip, even while the song about it is rocking us. Recommended.

Stream: The Monocles - Various Tracks

ATTN THIS EVENING: YOU HAVE MORE CHOICES THAN AT 1O:15 ON THE AVERAGE SATURDAY NIGHT

You know, at some point you just gotta take a step back and revel in the fact that on some evenings Houston has more to do than it has days in a row that are partly cloudy, highs in the low 90s. That's why, when we can't agree among ourselves as to what's the best thing to send your one and only body to see, we have our crack staff prepare a poorly formated chart for your cross referencing pleasure. One day we swear we will get savvy enough to make a Venn Diagram. Sadly, only POWERHOUSE will lie at its center. GET TO IT:

WHO	WHAT	WHY
	The Cure @ Toyota Center	BECAUSE I AM A LOVECAT I CAN HAS SEE FOREVER!
	Teenage Cool Kids, O Pioneers!!!, Fire Team Charlie, Lisa's Sons @ White Swan	FAAAK! I mean, RrrrrAAAAGE! GWHAHONZO! YUSSSSH!
	New Bloods, Hornet Leg @ Notsuoh	SURPRISE BITCHES! I wasn't dead, just undercover investigating, but I'm breaking my cover to check out this show, recommended by none other than Dianna Ray of the Mydolls! SHEZAM!
	AWAKE, Wikced Posuer @ Boondocks	Isn't today a holiday or something like that? When is flag day? Look at these pants, look.

REVIEW: BORN LIARS - GO BACK ONE DAY 7"

OH MAN! It's the week of June 8-14th, and you know what that means... GARAGE WEEK OF REVIEWS OF ROCK! Yep! Wanna know why this week? Numerology. Figure it out. Today and all week long we'll be doing our best to catch you up on some of H-Towns most shade-tree recordings from bands that are most likely in the collective mental salad spinner we call 'garage rock.' Now, if you have been a consistent reader of the Houstoned Rocks posts tagged Reverberations, then you're probably already more caught up on the local garage scene than we could possibly ever be, but, just because, we thought we'd throw our tomatoes in the colander too. No, praise the maker, we won't be making salad similes all week.

From the outset, it's fair to share that our favorite garage rock record is Joan Jett's Bad Reputation. Ok, not really. But dangit, doesn't it have the potential to be?! We mean, if the whole thing flew along like the title track does, all ripping power chords and floor toms and big first pumping choruses, they pretty much could have boarded up the music industry right then and there. Quitting time folks, and sorry about that Tu-Pac and Biggie, you're going to have to find another way to sell T-Shirts. REAL TALK: "Bad Reputation" has one of the best guitar solos in the history of single-coil pickups and it's ONE FREAKING NOTE. But sadly, though it's a solid as Lita Ford, this record never again sounds so much like the elemental authenticity of four people rocking out as fast as they can in the place where the family station wagon usually sits. Could there be a more disappointing cover of Wooly Bully?

Hello. Welcome to Offtopicistan. Your original destination, a review of the Born Liars 7", is right through these doors in the next paragraph. We hope you enjoyed your stay.

Like "Bad Reputation" (the song), Go Back One Day fires out the gates with a velocity approaching the physiological limits of a race-horse, and with as little regard that they might snap guitar strings or tibias. The 7" flies along so fast that we find ourselves rushing over to the turntable to flip the record over to the b-side, afraid they'll keep playing without us once the first two tracks are over. "Go Back One Day" sets that pace, and the template for the record. Fast, fun songs, spatially oriented (going back, meeting downstairs, being where one belongs), and most assuredly not ever crossing the three minute mark. The instrumentation is straight out of the race-program - but in a good way. Overdriven guitars, ragged riffs, lock-step bass and plenty of crash cymbal over vocals heavy on the 'hey', 'baby' and 'yeaaahs'. It's a glorious rush, and a damn fine translation of the Born Liars swaggery live show onto wax. When the three songs are over, it's like the party has suddenly been sucked right out of the room. Lame. Go turn it over and listen to it again. Yuss, party gold.

Born Liars have really kicked up the dust since their 2006 debut Exit Smiling. Go Back One Day's songs have a greater immediacy - they get to where they need to be sooner, are tighter and sound like a band who's kept a promise to itself to kick the jams out that much harder the next time around. Recommended.

Stream: Born Liars - Various Tracks

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF THE CRYING GAME

(UPDATED: Frightened Rabbit cancels, Hearts of Animals now on bill. See Below.) Why? Because we're going to have a non-gender confusing interaction with a hairstylist? NO, BECAUSE WE AINT CRYING NO MORE BECAUSE THE SCATTED PAGES ARE BACK! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE FIND US A VIDEO OF SHAQ DOING SOME SORT OF RIDICULOUS DANCE, CAUSE ITS HOW WE FEEL RIGHT NOW?



THANK YOU.

Yep, you heard it right the Good People we all know as the Scattered Pages are back from their previously announced hiatus and are taking the stage this Friday night! YUSSS. So let's get to that and ALL the weekend's action. STOKED.

FRIDAY
Scattered Pages, Literary Greats @ The Continental Club

YUSS. A dangerously pleasing band near and dear shares one the better sounding stages in town with an up an comer who's alt-country chops are bonafied like Forrest Whittaker. Get into it, Americant.

The French Kicks, Frightened Rabbit Hearts of Animals and The Young Mammals @ Walter's

Watch the Mammals eat rabbits and the French for dinner. JKs. But hot off the shoot of their newest video and midway through recording their next release, the Young Mammals well set one hell of a bar for their touring acts to live up to. Also, odds are that Roy Mata and/or Emily Driskill will be slinging drank at this show. Into it. UPDATE: The Frightened Rabbits had to cancel. Hearts of Animals have stepped up and are now on the bill. Party call me.

The Watermarks, Slivered, Flowers to Hide @ Rudyard's

See our review of Flowers to Hide's EP in the post before this. Its in there somewhere. Oh yeah, there it is - HIGH PRAISE. Plus, apparently one of the guys from Echo and the Bunnymen is a is all cheers mate about locals The Watermarks.

Arthur Yoria @ Fox Sports Grill Galleria

YOU KNOW YOU ARE TEMPTED. They have good sliders, btw.

SATURDAY

The Guilty Hearts, Born Liars and the Welfare Mothers @ Rudyards

We were gonna make a joke about how there is a law that Born Liars, Welfare Mothers and The Monocles are part of a triumberant where atleast two of them are required to play a show if one does, but Bryan from the Welfare Mothers beat us to the punch.

Ladytron, Datarock @ The Meridian

We wonder, did Ladytron have to sell 50 tickets in advance to get this show?

Saturday Secret Show @ The Shady Tavern

As always, free, secret, and starting around two. Maybe Mr Secret will post some hints about the bands in the comments. WE SAID, MAYBE MR SECRET WILL POST SOME HINTS IN THE COMMENTS.

SUNDAY

Carrots, Stove Blow and The Wiggins @ The Mink

Carrots are getting good press, good mentions and good props. It includes members of one of our Austin favorites, Finally Punk but has its roots in 60s girl pop rather than, well, punk. Should be killer and cooler than The Wiggins sunglasses.

REVIEW: FLOWERS TO HIDE - DOWN THE STAIRS EP

OK! So, before we begin talking about Flowers to Hide's most whips debut EP (hah, or released recording of any kind, actually - more on that later), we feel like we have to take a second out and buffet like Warren the inevitable criticism which we feel members of The Caprolites will subsequently bestow on us for doing so. For those who aren't avid moment-by-moment readers of this blog or the Hands Up Houston board, a little background. Last Friday we recommend a show in Pasadena, and, having been rather immersed in the Caprolite's Grey Ghost EP at the time and, noticing they were on the bill, made a little joke about the number of words involved in their description of where the event was located vs the number of words in an average Caprolites song. They were not impressed. And they took the opportunity to very publicly state that we were "crappy" and "sucked Flowers to Hide's dick" every chance we get. It may even have been them that went on to say that we "don't even do anything."   Now, we're not really sure where this animosity towards the hidden men of pedals comes from, and we may indeed do very little and be very crappy at it, but, we thought it was only fair to take a few minutes to go back and look at our coverage of the band this year and see if the Caprolites were right.

Turns out, in 2008, we've only done a single post about Flowers to Hide, back in March when they leaked some tracks to the EP we swear we will get to reviewing in a few paragraphs or so. This is in spite of the fact that our dictatorial Supreme Editor was once in a band with F2H's Mike, and count both he and recently barbered front-man Stephen as friends. We have broke bread with them. The Caprolites, on the other hand, have gotten much more generous coverage from us this year. Not only did we talk about their show last week, above, but we also did an OTHER NEWS link to the announcement of their Grey Ghost on May 18th. Twice as much is twice as much. Also, if you do a google search for "flowers to hide houston," you'll find that The Skyline Network doesn't even come up until the bottom of the sixth page of results, but if you do one for "caprolites houston" we come up third, right after hands_up and their myspace, and before pages and pages of results about manure. Add to that the fact that their third-time-mentioned Grey Ghost has long been on our editorial calendar for next week's GARAGE WEEK OF REVIEWS OF ROCK (oops - cats out of the bag on that one - see, you already have something to look forward to next week).

We guess what we're trying to say is that, in spite of The Caprolites' assertions to the contrary, we are not on Flowers To Hide's jock: we are on theirs. We apologize to our friends in Flowers to Hide for being derelict in undeserving favoritism towards them, and we promise to do better starting now - because let's face it, with this recording, they've earned it.

Flowers to Hide has been around for about seven years. Since Houston bands age in dog years, that makes them nearly middle age, but yet Down the Stairs is the first set of recordings they've ever done that will get the packaged, artifact release. Previous attempts, though studio recorded and mixed, didn't slice the Sandwich Pal and so were consigned to obscurity in a MySpace player, never to do anything but serve as a stop-gap to give people a feel for what they were doing with themselves. In a world cluttered with unmixed demos rushed to the ears of anyone that might listen, this is quite a statement. And it should say something about the fact that they are finally putting something out.

Down the Stairs was recorded by Steve Christiansen at Sugar Hill Studios and it sounds absolutely brilliant, shimmering and kinetic. This record sounds like nothing to come out of Houston in years; full bodied, swaggering without staggering while both delightfully un-ironic and un-pompous. It's a full wall of sound, stocked with a sedimentary system of sonic textures so deep that an almost wasteful amount of its nuance is lost if not given the good speakers/headphone treatment. We stick by our earlier assertion that we're reminded of early Ride when we hear this record, in that it completely envelopes you with cumulus guitars that flood your surroundings like the noise of the cityscape flooding into the open windows of a punk rock BMW barreling down the highway.

Yet in spite of the prominence of the guitars, these songs (there are, sadly, only three and a musical interlude), don't really ever coalesce around massive six string hooks or wonky guitar solos. Indeed, the leads are skimpier on notes than a BB King solo and the songs are surprisingly drum and bass driven. They're fast, and they're 100%: no one is playing slow enough to look at their shoes.

Plenty of bands (Anglo and stateside) have mastered psychedelic fullness, but few do it with the pop sensibilities of Ride and no one sporting a 713 ringtone does it like Flowers to Hide. The comparison isn't perfect, as Ride swings a hammer and F2D stabs with a knife, but you get the idea, and you get why even for never having mounted a tour or having a cohesive set of demonstrational tapes to throw about they find themselves frequently on the bill with Cheel-gazers like the Black Angels and Serena Manesh. Dig.

Down the Stairs is slated for a 'proper packaging' release later in the year, but since they're going to start selling more crafty copies of the EP at their shows starting Friday, we thought we'd give it a nod here and now (they're doing the limited home-style release to raise money for the proper pressing, afterall). They don't play very often, so if your Friday's not already stretched too thin, swing by their show at Rudyards and pick up a copy. Highly Recommended.

Stream: Flowers to Hide - Various Tracks

LATE PASS: WESTERN CIV TO PLAY WARPED TOUR, TOTALLY FREE VIP SHOW

Man, we're so behind the ball on this one, it's a wonder we're even posting it, since it's already been on Handstamp and Space City Rock (and we know you read both of these - right? RIGHT! - you should, and not just because SCR just gave us a big WUT UP the other day, but because they catch stuff we miss all the time. Also true for Free Press, Houston Calling, Houstoned Rocks and Breakfast on Tour. Damn 713, way to have a bunch of rock blogs). Anyway, back to Rachel's band. Reggie O'Farrell, who needs to get more dictatorial on his band in the RECORD ANOTHER RECORD department, wrote to tell us about a free show they have coming up at Club XO. Free, that is, if you get on the guest list. Well, that's not hard to do either, you won't need to have any sort of pre-qualified pedigree, not the right name or the right pair of Z-Cavaricci pleated slacks.

Nope, all you need to do is drop an email to westerncivbooking at gmail dot com and give them your name. And your friends names. Or just your name and a number of friends you plan to bring. Or whatevz. They'll be sharing the stage last night with their pals, New York's Via Audio. Rock. Also, those over 18 but under 21 - you can get in too, but you'll have to pay a cover. So yeah, they're looking to just play a big crazy show to as many folks as possible for as free as possible. So, if you haven't yet caught them, this might be the time to do so. Party.

In other Western Civilization news, they still aren't recording a follow up to their totally fun, totally should be in your collection debut, nor have they releases a set of Rachel trading cards. BUT - they are going to be playing the Vans Warped Tour this year when it grinds its way through town like a Veriflex on a hand-rail. They are now accepting donations of used Vision Street Wear t-shirts to don for the occasion. JK.

PS - This post was terrible, and we apologize to everyone who struggled through it and especially the Western Civilization.

ATTN AMERICA: YOU DONE GOOD

The Skyline Network strongly endorses Senator Barack Obama for President of the United States of America. We encourage you to visit his website and check out the policy positions of his that are important to you. If you find that you too support his approach to the challenges that confront our nation, we encourage you to create a my.barackobma.com profile and add us as a contact so that we can be in touch on the subject. (FUND RAISER HAPPY HOURS - YUSSS). This is not a turn for the political for this site, just a moment outside the boundaries to encourage you to get informed, get involved, get registered and vote. Thanks.

PS - Even though our collective spell checkers are mystified by his name, it fills us with pride to know that, in the same lifetime that the Voting Rights Act was passed, a black man will be on the presidential ballot. Good work America.

INTRODUCING BADASSVERTISING: FREE ADVERTISING TO MILLIONS OF SKYLINE READERS EVERY DAY

During the day, we all work in marketing. All we do is try and think of interesting and meaningful ways to communicate our message and break though the constant clutter of advertising messages that bombard us all every moment of our lives. We’re not trying to sell people things they don’t need – that would be a waste of time. We’re just trying to get the right information to the right people when they are in the right mindset. The best way to do this, of course, is to try and find spaces that are clutter free, where it doesn’t have to compete with a myriad of other messages (this is why we think companies that advertise on NASCAR cars are idiots, btw).

Long-time readers might recall a time when we actually had advertising on this site, which we charged bands a tiny amount for – we never made enough money to even pay for the hosting, and when the ad system broke we weren’t that inclined to fix it, cause not that many folks were interested. However, we’re been thinking about a recent Lomax column about why some bands draw and some bands don’t, and a quote from Dunnock (who did booking at the Proletariat and now The Mink) has been stuck in our minds like a Golden Axe riff: “[Some bands] are a hundred percent art and zero percent marketing.”

Now we understand that some people have an aversion to promoting themselves. It goes against many a legitimate creed to feel that one should be required to puff out one’s chest and point out their accomplishments or prepare dubiously commercial-feeling materials to get the word out to the media and the wider world. Indeed, so often, the point of being in a band or doing a thing is to have fun with your buddies and not to try and ‘make it’ or experience any sort of acclaim or success. We realize this, and completely support it, but think you’re blowing it because people might want to actually come to your shows and you should figure out a way to tell them they’re happening.

The internet, frankly, has made too many us lazy. We can remember spending countless nights waiting with a stack of flyers outside of a club, waiting for the bands to finish so we could tell the exiting people about our next show – and we weren’t the only band there doing it. It’s been ages since we’ve seen something similar. It seems like a better use of one’s time to market online, after all, using MySpace and message boards and emails. It’s cheaper and quicker and the potential audience is much larger. But we should all be honest with ourselves – it’s no longer effective. There is too much clutter.

Now we don’t want to try and tell you how or to promote what you’re doing, and you don’t need us to tell you that playing to a small crowd again and again sucks. What we’ve decided to do, instead, is to create a clutter free space for you to get the word out to a show-going audience that is already in the ‘thinking about music’ mindset. And we’re going to make it completely free.

Introducing: BADASSVERTISING.

Starting today, we’re going to bring back the rotating banner ad we once had, and make it completely free to bands. All you have to do is create a JPG or animated GIF sized 728 x 90 at 72dpi and email it to adifferentryan at gmail dot com along with a URL of where the ad should link to. Bam. Done. That simple. We’re not trying to claim that this will increase your show attendance or whatever, and it’s no substitute for word of mouth and footwork, but along with TITE JAMS RADIO and our Show Calendar, it’s another place to get the word out. Do it.

Of course, there are a few rules, but they’re easy – check it:

Bands: Use BADASSVERTISING to promote a show or a new release, do not use it to promote that you exist. We won’t promote a show for longer than two months. Also, don't put anything in your ad that is not safe for work or that our grandparents wouldn't want to read. This means four letter words in your band's name, which we are opposed to generally because it's diluting the shock value of these words and what are we supposed to do now when a situation calls for the SHOCK AND AWE that only an F-BOMB could once instill, but now the response is not horror but "Oh, I like that band."

Promoters/Clubs/Record Labels: Your ads are free so long as there is a local band on the bill for your show/club night/record release. If not, email us and we can try and work something out.

Non Profits: Your ads are free, but you have to send us a new one every two months so it doesn’t get stale. Also if your charity enables people to become crazy old Cat Women when they grow up, we will prolly just trash the ads.

Record Stores, Bars and other Commercial Enterprises: Email us and maybe we can work something out. We love bartering, so hopefully you sell tacos.

Political Candidates: We will run your ads if you name is “Senator Barack Obama.”

SO GET TO IT. Send us some ads, and while you’re at it, don’t forget to email us your shows so they get on our calendar, send us MP3s for upcoming releases to get on TITE JAMS RADIO, and just let us know how you’re doing. It helps. See you outside the clubs.

REVIEW: INSECT WARFARE/FLAGITIOUS IDIOSYNCRASY IN THE DILAPIDATION SPLIT EP

HAHAH. Ok, we know what you're thinking. Isn't this supposed to be, like, some sort of indie site or something? Since when did Insect Warfare become a hipster band? Won't they crush you, your skull, your glasses and your Converse for even writing about them in such a SissySpace? Do any of you guys even wear glasses?What are you thinking?!  Well, the truth of the matter is yes, they aren't, no, no and, in summary, for whatever reason, we love Insect Warfare. We don't even know why. (we suspect it's the Beau factor - how can you not like the guy? Did you SEE him perform live as Unholy Mountain?!) Without a doubt, we are among the least qualified writers of gossipy Houston scene blogs to tackle a review of one of their recordings, as we don't even know what kind of ripping whatever-core they are and don't have a single point of musical reference except possibly a Pretty Little Flower 7" we picked up one day thinking it was going to sound like the Westbury Squares vs. Jenny Westbury (don't drink and buy kids).

But be that as it may, when we saw that the latest issue of a zine called Short Fast and Loud included a copy of a split seven inch by our local trio of terrifiers, we couldn't help but pick it up from the Sound Exchange counter rack and take it home with us. Rather than bore you with some sort of attempt at describing the reasons why their particular collection of guttural growls, insane riffage and Dunkin Donuts defying double-kicks appeals to us, we thought we would just list out the top ten reasons why Insect Warfare, this record and this zine rules like a Presidente for Life.

1: On the first page there is a collection of top ten lists, presumably from famous people in the business of short, fast and loud music. Of the nine lists, six include the latest Insect Warfare full length, and the other three guys have on their list a Stevie Wonder LP, a Star Wars video game and a dude named Jeff Whiplash.

2: Insect Warfare is able to fit six of their songs (technically one is a cover) onto a single side of a 7" record.

3: This zine has a cooking column called "Chef to False Metal." We shit you not.

4: There has got to be about a thousand reviews in this zine, and the intro to the section is an ALL CAPS LOCK warning to the bands whose records are being reviewed. Excerpts include: "WE SUPPORT THE EXECUTION OF ALL 'PUNK' RECORD REVIEWERS." "NOW GO WHINE ON THE INTERNET, YA FAKES." and "GUESS WHICH 'HIP SCENESTER' REVIEWED YOUR RECORD AND WIN A FREE BOOT IN THE FACE."

5: The cover of the 7" itself is more EPIC ART OF DOOM by Insect Warfare's penciler-in-waiting, Daniel Shaw. LOOK AT THAT COVER, LOOK!

6: Did you happen to catch the fact that the EP is a split with a Japanese band named Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation? Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

7: Speaking of Japan, it's got to have the most awesomely bizarre pop-culture in the world, and even though we dropped TWO nuclear bombs on them, they are totally chill with us and love bands like Insect Warfare. The proof is in the video.

8: Did you happen to catch the fact that Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation is made up of four young women?  Brutal.  

9: There is a column called "Today's Japan Market with Shiggy" that should be about hardcore in Japan, but the guy who writes it has been in jail for the last three months and didn't have anything to write about.

10: This record (and Insect Warfare generally) are fun as hell and as they are rumored to be throwing the towel in soon, any recording you can get for the house to get your fix when you need it is a good thing. Recommended.

Stream: Insect Warfare - Various Tracks

REVIEW: MYDOLLS - A WORLD OF HER OWN

The Mydolls were a Houston band that played shows, did a few tours, and put out some records between 1978 and 1986. On the face of it, they're an unlikely candidate for a career retrospective, lacking a 'regional hit' and not even putting out a full length record – which is perhaps why A World of Her Own, as both a time capsule and a free-standing collection of music is so remarkable. By all rights, it shouldn't exist at all. Yet here it is, lovingly released by Glendale, California-based Grand Theft Audio; 56 released, demo and live tracks from a band that most of us have never heard of, but maybe should have.

Like many folks, we tend to divide listen-able music from this era into two camps using the Urgh! dichotomy – everything is either punk or New Wave. Somehow, we got it into our heads that the Mydolls (note the pun) had pitched their Coleman tent in the camp spot of the former. Yet, while they might not be sleeping on that side of the recycled rail tie, they surely stopped over to roast a smores on the side of the fire where safety pins were more plentiful. In other words, Mydolls aren't the lilly-livered , skinny tied denizens of New Wave pop that Jello Biafra railed against in the Dead Kennedys' Urgh! outing. Stylistically, you could say they're among the first of the post-punk bands, tapping into many of the same underground currents as contemporaries like The B-52s (“Nova Grows Up”), Joy Division (“Parallel”) and Wire (“The/rapist”).

We think it'd be wrong to call them derivative of any of these bands (remember the time frame, after all – it's not like they had access to these bands' pre-released recordings on MySpace or something), more like swept up in the same era, which is why you can hear the same fashion, books and responses to politics that gave rise to outfits like Gang of Four and Au Pairs (“Imposter”) or U2 and The Chamelions (“As Strange as Mine”). You get the idea. The songs are frequently political, and if the husky, forceful (though at times gentle) and occasionally vibrato-tinged vocals aren't enough to remind you that you're listening to a band fronted by three women, the lyrics will.

Clocking in at almost 2 ½ hours, it's not really the sort of record that one tackles in a single sitting, but we're glad this is all here. Considering that only 12 of the 56 tracks ever saw the black of vinyl, the inclusion of so many demos and live tracks is anything but superfluous (indeed – there are only a very few instances of multiple versions of any one song – this truly is the result of some dedicated archival work). A World of Her Own is presented in a curated order, with recordings grouped together by release or show or session, and not chronologically. It makes it a solid listen throughout and avoids the second disc curse that plague far too many completest sets.

The liner notes have an extensive, literally break-less, interview with the band with photos and flyers for venues long passed (Showbar, Midtown live). There is a distinct Houstoness throughout, and references to people and things that aren't that unfamiliar: a practice space upstairs from Rudyards; opening up for The Hates at the Pride Parade; playing shows with the Butthole Surfers; having a track on a Sub Pop comp cassette; meeting a nice man named John Lomax.

As an artifact, it also begs some of the same questions that folks in town often muse about. Just why is it that, even here in town, few have ever heard of this band? Why is it that Wall of Voodoo is still making a living off of “Mexican Radio”, and Mydolls at most got a few free Michelobes for songs like “Underage?” How could a band clearly so talented and in their stride until the end (judging from the demos recorded at the end of their career) not even put out a full length record? Was, even then, Houston still a terrible backwater in the minds of A&R scouts and national music writers?

But on the other hand, maybe this is all the band really ever wanted. Maybe, like Galaxie 500, it was their dream only to find their own 7” in the used bin one day. Maybe the three tours and the guerrilla appearance on the John Peel radio show was enough. Whatever the case, we should most assuredly not judge the Mydolls by what they did not accomplish. Listening to these tracks, its clear that the accomplished the most important thing – making some great music that holds up almost thirty years later. To everyone playing in bands today, we wish you equal success. Recommended.

The Mydolls' A World of Her Own is available at Sound Exchange and from Grant Theft Audio's website.

Stream: Mydolls - Various Tracks

GLITTERATTI: SCENE THIS WEEKEND

WELL WELL WELL. What a weekend. For starters, looks like Long Time Listeners First Time Callers Chester Soria (Houstonist) and Elissa Brown (herself) have decided to take a few months off from our fair city to seek their fortunes elsewhere. Some might call it a cause for sadness, others for celebration. Somewhere in the middle, we suppose, is where they ended up - Having a garage sale. Peep:


Some INCREDIBLE bargains were available


Brent (Dull Knife) is the day's first taker! And take records he does!


Will Adams (The Ka-Nives) and Chester Soria do not relish the heat.


Cley (Young Mammals) weighs the pros and cons of a cooler of really hot beer.


John Sears (Grey Ghost) is beardfounded by the WADAMS collection on offer.


LOOK! It's Ben of Basses Loaded


HOLY RETURN FROM OCCULTATION! It's Mike McBike of every Houston band ever.


In retrospect, Elissa Brown does not wonder why her right arm is the only one that got sunburned.


With ice and Chili Cheese Fritos, TOM ADAMS SAVES THE DAY!

MEANWHILE, AT THE SECRET SATURDAY SHOW:


Lenny Brisco would like to take this opportunity to remind you about things that piss you off about America.


Hey, it's those adorable kids that play together as SEW WHAT!

THEN, THAT NIGHT:


Sad Like Crazy manages to all fit into a single dark picture at Rudyards. Where is Joe O with the light adjustment stick?! (photo by Ramon Medina)

IN OTHER NEWS:

Warren (Golden Axe, Valient Thorr) gets a new Valient Thorr denim vest in the mail (photo by Ben Murphy).

THEN THERE'S A COOKOUT AT BOONDOCKS

Those burgers are BLACK BLACK and the mustard is GOLD!


Lucas (Satin Hooks) wears the best shirt ever made.