REVIEW: INSECT WARFARE/FLAGITIOUS IDIOSYNCRASY IN THE DILAPIDATION SPLIT EP

HAHAH. Ok, we know what you're thinking. Isn't this supposed to be, like, some sort of indie site or something? Since when did Insect Warfare become a hipster band? Won't they crush you, your skull, your glasses and your Converse for even writing about them in such a SissySpace? Do any of you guys even wear glasses?What are you thinking?!  Well, the truth of the matter is yes, they aren't, no, no and, in summary, for whatever reason, we love Insect Warfare. We don't even know why. (we suspect it's the Beau factor - how can you not like the guy? Did you SEE him perform live as Unholy Mountain?!) Without a doubt, we are among the least qualified writers of gossipy Houston scene blogs to tackle a review of one of their recordings, as we don't even know what kind of ripping whatever-core they are and don't have a single point of musical reference except possibly a Pretty Little Flower 7" we picked up one day thinking it was going to sound like the Westbury Squares vs. Jenny Westbury (don't drink and buy kids).

But be that as it may, when we saw that the latest issue of a zine called Short Fast and Loud included a copy of a split seven inch by our local trio of terrifiers, we couldn't help but pick it up from the Sound Exchange counter rack and take it home with us. Rather than bore you with some sort of attempt at describing the reasons why their particular collection of guttural growls, insane riffage and Dunkin Donuts defying double-kicks appeals to us, we thought we would just list out the top ten reasons why Insect Warfare, this record and this zine rules like a Presidente for Life.

1: On the first page there is a collection of top ten lists, presumably from famous people in the business of short, fast and loud music. Of the nine lists, six include the latest Insect Warfare full length, and the other three guys have on their list a Stevie Wonder LP, a Star Wars video game and a dude named Jeff Whiplash.

2: Insect Warfare is able to fit six of their songs (technically one is a cover) onto a single side of a 7" record.

3: This zine has a cooking column called "Chef to False Metal." We shit you not.

4: There has got to be about a thousand reviews in this zine, and the intro to the section is an ALL CAPS LOCK warning to the bands whose records are being reviewed. Excerpts include: "WE SUPPORT THE EXECUTION OF ALL 'PUNK' RECORD REVIEWERS." "NOW GO WHINE ON THE INTERNET, YA FAKES." and "GUESS WHICH 'HIP SCENESTER' REVIEWED YOUR RECORD AND WIN A FREE BOOT IN THE FACE."

5: The cover of the 7" itself is more EPIC ART OF DOOM by Insect Warfare's penciler-in-waiting, Daniel Shaw. LOOK AT THAT COVER, LOOK!

6: Did you happen to catch the fact that the EP is a split with a Japanese band named Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation? Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

7: Speaking of Japan, it's got to have the most awesomely bizarre pop-culture in the world, and even though we dropped TWO nuclear bombs on them, they are totally chill with us and love bands like Insect Warfare. The proof is in the video.

8: Did you happen to catch the fact that Flagitious Idiosyncrasy In The Dilapidation is made up of four young women?  Brutal.  

9: There is a column called "Today's Japan Market with Shiggy" that should be about hardcore in Japan, but the guy who writes it has been in jail for the last three months and didn't have anything to write about.

10: This record (and Insect Warfare generally) are fun as hell and as they are rumored to be throwing the towel in soon, any recording you can get for the house to get your fix when you need it is a good thing. Recommended.

Stream: Insect Warfare - Various Tracks