BOO! WE DRESSED UP AS A BLOG THAT NEVER POSTS! SCARED?!

OH HAI! We’ve been dicking around when we should be writing. And by ‘dicking around’ we mean ‘our day jobs’ and ‘watching heroes.’ But real quick, this being Halloween, a holiday whose median-celebration age seems to have been on the uptick as of late, there are several pretty whips ways to spend your evening. Let’s take a gander:

FATAL FLYING GUILLOTEENS RELEASE SHOW
Yes. This is the official release of the CD that so tickled our fancy the other week. Rumor has it that, to honor the spirit of the great pumpkin, the Guillo-men might re-visit their previous predilection for dress up, perhaps as the cast of a certain television program. Ultra secret, little buddy – so keep that on the down low. Other acts that have been mentioned as being on this bill are American Sharks, MV+EE and 47 Miles of Barbwire. ATTN: People Under 21 – you MUST MySpace message the Guilloteens before the show in order to get on a list to get in. Only the first 20 under-agers will be admitted. Don’t blow it. The Proletariat. $7

HELMET, SHARKS & SAILORS
S&S are going to smoke the other bands on the bill – real talk. Helmet is down to a single original member, which is kind of hilarious as we would never have pegged them as a nostalgia act, but we guess if anyone from AmRep was going to go that act, it would be them. Don’t act like you don’t want to go see a bunch of people all in costume freaking out to Meantime and Sinatra. Two bands are sandwiched between the honey oat to give you time to leave and go trick-or-treating in Chinatown. ALSO – The Free Press has some free tickets to this show to give away. TRICK OR TREAT! To get a pair email Ramon Medina: hellokitty at gmail dot com.

NOTHIN BUT A MONSTER PARTY
HEY – THESE GUYS HAVE FLYER. WAREHOUSE PARTIES! YOU(GENIOUS)! INTO IT!


BOYS AND GIRLS' CLUB'S GHOULISH RETURN
EDDIE! TICKET GIVEAWAYS TO SEE IAMX. YOUNG PEOPLE!


No doubt there will be costumed fun and freaks wherever you go, and drunks on the road - so drive safe. Killer.

HOUSE PARTY ALERT: BASSES LOADED TO SPOOK IT UP AT CROCKER HOUSE

Be sure you check the weather on this one, cause like, it's gonna be a perfect fall evening. ATTN: FALL - thank you for being 2003 every single year. We're told that Basses Loaded will be going on at 9:30.

TONIGHT: BE SURE SOMEONE IS THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAIR

You know the Interpol song "Length of Love" how right from the beginning the guitars are doing that little two-string pluck riff? Man, that always makes our stomach a little sick. It’s not like a brown note experience or anything bowel rumbling. And nay, the feeling one has drank too much. It just gives us somewhat of a discomforted stomach – a tummy ache, if you will, in the classical childhood sense. We’ve never really shared that before. We tell because we love. Because there is trust between us – and because you are beautiful and we cannot resist beauty.


Which is why we’re completely ace in the hole to share with you something else of the pepto-requiring variety. Tonight at The White Swan – it’s Sickish Fest. Armed with little more of an explanation than “Get Sick”, a full evening of entertainment has been culled from the best of last weekend’s live options (Friday’s set by Cop Warmth and Indian Jewelry; Saturday’s matinee by The Wiggins and Hearts of Animals – though tonight you’ll substitute one of Mlee Marie’s other bands, Vaarg, for the HOA). Rounding out the bill in the fabled Eastside mecca of smoke machines and American Flags are A Pink Cloud, Balaclavas and Satannabis, who we were disappointed to learn has absolutely nothing to do with Santana.

But in spite not knowing exactly what is so Sick about this whole thing (beyond a SoCal surfer slang reference to the lineup), we’re pretty sure it marks the start of the Halloween party season, which continues on into the weekend and climaxes with you having to choose between two other damn sick shows (if we may say so) on Wednesday. Get your costumes ready people – you’ve got Pepto to drink.

BEAT THE STREET: GET LP4’S NEW ALBUM BEFORE RELEASE DATE+ BEER, PIZZA AND INSECT WARFARE

Yes, we are quite aware that the Doobie Brothers are playing tonight, and that there has been a near-criminal lack of coverage of this event. BUT, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to make a stop off before you point your sexton towards the show. Yep because, this afternoon, starting at five-ish, the good folks at Sound Exchange have a treat in store for you. No, they haven’t decided to discount the remainder of the McManus collection to club-a-baby-seal-crazy prices – rather they’ve used their considerable influence over all things local and 12” in girth to bring to you (but not us, cause we’re in Midland) the new Linus Pauling Quartet record, All Things Are Light, weeks before the official US street date. Yep, while sippin on suds and biting on pie, you’ll be the first in line to buy the new record, all the while (we are told) being nurtured by the soothing and more than moderately whip ass new Insect Warfare album. So, whether your evening begs the question of what a fool believes, or whether you want to hit up Matt Pond or Say Hi, atleast you know where to get it all started. Cha Ching!

VIDEO: SABRA LAVAL - COME CLOSE (LIVE ON KTRU)

Our friend and Mad Dog co-conspirator Sabra Laval played a few songs on KTRU last Friday, including this rendition of the song 'Came Close':



Her entire set is online in two parts here and here, and if you happen to be a fan, so is YouTube user bergduck, who has quite the back-catalog of her live and in-studio performances online. Sabra will be playing Thursday at Notsuoh with Austin Lucas and the Pressman and locals Black Black Gold.

GLITTERATI: SCENE AT DIVERSEWORKS

More than a few of you had the valor and the vigor to show up Saturday for DiverseWorks' Unusual Animals show. And not only were you hooked up with an aces free show, but we here at the Skyline were proud to reward you with some fine libations. Let's hope no one has a lip fungus!


Claire (Knitta Please) and Bret (Black Congress) chill on the loading dock


Hide your archive tapes (actually, DON'T), it's Jvan (Houston Redux)


Sabra Laval shows how its done.


BIG GULPS WITH BEN (Basses Loaded, American Sharks)


Mlee Marie (Hearts of Animals, Thee Freed, Vaarg) knows there's a flavor for every hair color.


Megan and Jay (Woozyhelmet)!


Will (L.A.W.S.) keeps it on the brown bag tip.


Joe Mathlete looks on in TERROR!


CHECK OUT THE CHUG! This mystery lady is our WHOTHATBE? GIRL of the MONTH!


Why hello Will's (The Ka-Nives) beard - you're looking might trim lately. Guess you knew this weather was coming.


There IS something fierce about you Chris Ryan (O Pioneers!!!, Dead City Sound). Hope the tour is going well.

FLOWERS TO HIDE SEEK BASSIST

ATTN BASSES LOADED: BROTHERS, CAN YOU SPARE A GUY? Can you? Cause on of our local favs, the long playing, hard working, favorably influenced and soon-to-be-finally-record-releasing brawlers known as Flowers to Hide have parted ways with their longtime fletcher of the fours, Michael Waller. According to a blog post, he parted to pursue other things, and now the man-down invokers of the mary chain are looking to fill that role with someone who meets some pretty basic requirements: has gear; can play; rocks right. Presumably, you should not suck as an individual either, but we know from experience that it's impossible for a bassist to do so, such is our nature no matter how many glass lighting installations one punches into oblivion. So, if you're down for teaming up with some chill guys who has spent the year opening up for folks like the Black Angels, Serena Manessh, Vietnam and The Warlocks, drop em a note and bring the party attitude. Tuff.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE LIKE A KISS SHOW IN DETROIT THAT WE MUST ABSOLUTELY DRIVE TO.

Some weekends are better than others. And let us just say, dang. This is going to be a good one.

Friday
Magik Markers, Indian Jewelry, The Freed, Cop Warmth @ The Mink
On top of a solid line-up, this show has the distinction of being the debut performance of Will Freed’s (Graustark, Le Thargic, one thousand other bands) latest ( self-titled) project. We haven’t the foggiest what they’re going to sound like, but we can happily report that it features Jeff Williams on drums and Mlle Marie (Hearts of Animals) on organ and saxophone. Listen like thieves.

QUI, Dizzy Pilot, Rustler @ Walter's
If you haven’t gotten in on the Rustler train yet, it’s probably because it hasn’t even arrived at the station. With just a few shows under their belt (but yet already an EP), this trio of metal-ish instrumentalists enlists a darker take than Golden Axe’s slayer of the genre, but ends up scoring in a way that too is fun.

Wicked Poseur, Thousands, Black Black Gold, & Florida @ Super Happy Fun Land
Wicked Poseur’s shows have been hella good lately.

Saturday
Unusual Animals @ Diverseworks
Get our thoughts and all the info in the previous post.

Minus The Bear, The Helio Sequence, Tiny Vipers @ Numbers
We seem to remember Minus the Bear being good or something. We actually have no idea, but we’re sure some of you would like to go to this.

Sunday
Alarma! @ Dean's Credit Clothing
Cause if we didn’t mention this, April 5k would prolly call us out about it. Also, this band has one of those upside down exclamation points at the beginning of it's name, but our keyboard doesn't have that.

La Cacahouette, Antarctica Starts Here, Mansion @ The Proletariat
We freaking love outerspace. Also, La Cacahouette is from Buffalo and we want to go back there.

ASTHMATIC KITTY & DIVERSEWORKS TEAM UP TO BRING YOU A WHIPS FREE SHOW

At SXSW this year Asthmatic Kitty (home of such notable as Sufjan Stevens and Castanets) pushed the artists on it's more experimental Unusual Animals imprint out of the studio and on to the stage. It went off well, and now after similar events in Indianapolis and Brooklyn, there are two this Saturday, including on in Portland and the other here at DiverseWorks titled Unusual Animals: Houston, Our Ears Depend on you.


The event, which is all ages, free and kicks off at two, features sets by some of Houston's besterests, along with recent Ashmatic Kitty signees Future Rapper and Cryptacize plus Austin's Moth Fight. Peep the set times:

Hearts of Animals 3PM
Future Rapper 3:45 PM
The Wiggins 4:20PM
Cryptacize 5:15PM
Space City Gamelan 6:15PM
Moth Fight 7:15PM

KTRU DJs will throw down tracks between the sets. With the lineup and the setting, it promises to be an afternoon of weird and wonderful, plus with the debut of the mysterious Secret Show series just a few weeks away, it's time to start acclimating to the Saturday day show habit. Get up and get things done early, you've got ears depending on you.

BE THERE: SHOWS TO CATCH TONIGHT

The live music inclined have four pretty decent outing to pick from tonight, and it’s a sure thing that you’ll be able to get to atleast two. Check it:

MAN MAN, The Extraordinaries, Spain Colored Orange @ The Proletariat – Happy Hour
Philly natives Man Man, whose music has been described as “Viking-vaudeville punk-wop rock-and-soul” bring their own particular kind of meyham (particular enough to have landed three of their songs in an episode of Weeds) to the prolo for an early show.

Carribou, Born Ruffians @ The Engine Room
Forget the Press’ dismissive tone, Andora is one of our favorite ’07 releases to date, in fact, we’re so enthralled with it that we’re honestly considering skipping this show so that we aren’t left with a bad taste in our mouths on behalf of the Room’s notoriously un-subtle sound (this is a total headphone album, and we love the little tiny nothings on it that are sure to get lost in the bassyness of the space).

Ryan Adams @ Verizon
You know if you want to see this show or not. Probably the best option if you’re in the contemplatively dreary mood and would rather a banjo than a pick-me-up. Real talk, if there’s a someone special missing from your life, this is the place to try and meet them tonight.

Golden Axe, Satin Hooks @ Boondocks
This is a free show. Allow us to explain the event in precisely one thousand words:


Rusted Shut, iAlarma! @ Rudyards
It will be loud, it will be drunk, it will be destructive, you will not get to sleep on time.

ROAD UPDATES: GUILLOTEENS, GUNS GO CMJAZY! WESTERN CIV TAKE A SHOWER! PAPERMOONS SLACK FOR SUPERDRAG!

Well it must be Fall, because CMJ, New York’s considerably more leaf-turned version of SXSW (but with larger distances between venues) is kicking off this very day. And two of our own have forked over the dough to Jet Blue for a little fun in the Big Apple sun. Specifically, we’re talking about Bring Back the Guns and the Fatal Flying Guilloteens, who both decided that October was the month to release a pair of knock-out party rockers. The Guilloteens have up to four shows that they can take the wrong subway to, while the Guns have a single show. So, all you Houston exiles, get yr ass out and see what these kids have been up to. Also, lend them a floor and a place to shower.

Guilloteens Shows:
Oct 17 – Soundfix Records (Brooklyn) w/The Big Sleep
Oct 18 – Paino’s (Manhattan) w/The Big Sleep & Cut Off Your Hands
Oct 19 – R Bar (Brooklyn) w/ Islands, Saturday Looks Good to Me, Black Kids and Other Passangers
Oct 19 – Galapagos (Brooklyn) w/Jay Retard, Foreign Born, A Place to Bury Stranges , Holy Hail and More

Bring Back the Guns
Oct 20 – The Annex (Lower East Side)

Speaking of taking a shower, we got word from Reggie of the presently free-agent Western Civilization that, as of Monday, they had finally broken down, gotten a hotel room and taken their first shower in seven days. HOT. Can’t wait to hear the b-side about that. The kids who make the birds sing were holed up in Baltimore and should be back on the road by now. They’ve still got a few shows left before they return in the big white van to the 713, so if you happen to cross their paths, stop in for a listen:

Oct 17 - TBA - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Oct 22 - TBA - Cleveland, Ohio
Oct 23 - The Nite Owl - Dayton, Ohio
Oct 26 - MEMORIAL UNION - der Rathskeller (UW Campus) Madison, Wisconsin
Oct 29 - The Way Out - St. Louis, Missouri
Oct 31 - The Gypsy - Fayetteville, Arkansas
Nov 1 - Convergence - Oklahoma City
Nov 3 - Emo’s – Austin

Also out on the road at present are none other than the Civ’s kindred spirits, the Papermoons, who knocked our socks off last month at Walter’s. We’ve been studying their 7” ever since and think that you should to, if for no other reason than that this drifting duo is taking a day off from their current tour to see a Superdrag reunion show. Yep. Superdrag. If there is anyone we love as much as Spacehog, it may well be the Knoxville power-poppers, and had we known about this event, it might be possible that we’d be driving their van. Check the rest of their scheduled romp through some of John Cougar Melloncamp’s favorite parts of the country.

Oct 17 - The Matinee - Highland Square, Ohio
Oct 18 - The DAAC - Grand Rapids, Michigan
Oct 19 - 403 Kling St. - AKRON, Ohio
Oct 20 - Day off for SUPERDRAG reunion!
Oct 21 - Old City Java - Knoxville, Tennessee
Oct 22 - The Mug - Mobile, Alabama
Oct 28 - 1982 Bar - Gainesville, Florida

That’s all we have on their schedule right now – not sure what they’re up to between Florida and here. Maybe something. Maybe nothing. Maybe a Better than Ezra reunion in New Orleans. Who can say. Drive safe everyone.

Van Photo by IwateBuddy.

REVIEW: FATAL FLYING GUILLOTEENS - QUANTUM FUCKING

It’s a big oaken relief to listen to a Fatal Flying Guilloteens record. Seriously, you’ll have all your teeth afterwards. And leave that foundation in the makeup bag ladies – no black eye for you tonight. Yes, the recorded shrieks and stabs are a nice easy breezy listening experience compared to their live shows, which often seem about as safe as riding shotgun in a soft-side jeep wrangler in the rain with your drunk, one-eyed thirteen year old cousin behind the wheel. It’s probably the biggest cliché in rock to say that “this band’s live performance is teetering on the brink of spinning out of control!!!” But imagine if while you were saying that, the guy who founded Hallmark Greetings rolled up and exclaimed “you’re a soft boring lightweight of a pansy” and then swallowed you whole and pissed you out into a swimming pool of fresh jalapeños with a slide made of Ebola. Real talk: it would still be the same cliché, but atleast you’d have a better idea of what it means when something is totally Guilloteens-on-the-stage nuts.

Scuffles with each other, fisticuffs with bands they are on tour with, flaming motorcoaches – our five favorite boys are a long ways away from the once cowboy outfit bedecked Humble trio in sound, swagger and stature alike. It’s not particularly common for Bayou City rollers to keep it strong in the couples skate category for so long, but somehow (seriously – against the odds), the Guilloteens have done just that. And the next time you see one of them, pull them aside and dole out a total gripper of a hug for us – cause Quantum Fucking is butterdish of bliss, and we’re totally rolling our collective corncob in it. Fuck yes with the paprika dusting too – this shit rules.

More than Get Knifed, New Hustle or even their recent split with This Moment in Black History, QF is the Guilloteens coming into their own. We can’t even listen to those records anymore. We’re throwing them away – noble efforts but weaksauce in comparison. They’re nowhere near as puffy taco filling, bedsheet ripping or keno machine addicting. SBT nostalgia. The upgrade in the musicianship, songwriting and engineering of QF over the past is a breakthrough on the magnitude of scar-free tit jobs.

Still ripping it up with zip-code traitor and Erik Bogle-replaced Brian McManus for this recording, QF storms into your living room with ‘Hello Boss!!!,’ (a gift to you on this Bosses’ Day, perhaps) and right away lets you know that you are listening to a record that, while still carrying forward the mustardy flag of their previous works, has more craftsmanship to it. Yes, there are still those creaking hinge guitar leads whose notes refuse to come in sets of four, and they sound just as barely in-tune as ever – but they’re sharper. When Roy Mata’s bass switches from trampoline spring to low end - it’s lower.
Hearing Shawn Adolph and Mike, who usually trade vocal duties, actually share them (even if just for a moment) is one of those dirt simple/flying-car smart ideas that makes us totally stoked for the future. And damn John Adams, are those your hands clapping? We’d like to hold them. Totally Brohomo.

QF kicks you to the curb with the longest and slowest Guillojam to date, the semi-epic Legion of Serpents - a payoff the size of a negative pregnancy test with a riff worthy of God’s Temple of Family Deliverance. It’s a reminder that, when things get older they don’t necessarily mellow out – they get refined, and this is the oak barrel at it’s best. Recommended.

MP3: Fatal Flying Guilloteens - Reveal the Rats

REVIEW: BLACK MATH EXPERIMENT - ALL YOU NEED IS BLOOD

When Jef of the Black Math Experiment sent us an email a while back with a copy of their new ep, it contained the disclaimer “this is the most emotional disc we’ve ever done, dealing mostly with loss and relationships.” We have to admit that we were intrigued, given that BME is a band that we mostly associate with a live performance centered around mirth, goof and high-energy shenanigans. That this jocular quintet has embarked on a path of ungleeful introspection is obvious throughout the disc, and it was almost enough to get us to weasel out of reviewing it because, well, we need bands like Black Math Experiment to be a consistent pinion of bulletproof fun. No one likes to hear about the sad clown, we want them to arrive in their tiny ass car and make you drop your cotton candy with their shtick.

But after more than one morning of waking up with the song "Everyone is Gay" pumping out its various parts into our various synapses, we thought – what the hell, let’s drag out the thesaurus and tell people about it. This song is really a gem and the stand out track on the ep (which is a statement, considering that hidden among the six tracks is a country-couch shuffle take on Nine Inch Nails’ "Animal"). If BME was hoping for a song that would get them out from under "You Can Not Kill David Arquette" and under the shade of another elm, this would be it. Even after repeated listens we can’t quite nail down if vocalist Christi Lain is bemoaning that a potential paramour is more interested in Outsmart magazine than her own classified ads, or if she simply feels left out because she’s stuck watching the parade rather than marching in it. If nothing, the song opens up those universal old wounds of waiting around to be included, of not knowing why you’re not cool enough to be in on the game or get the girl/guy. It sucks. They must be gay.

Built around an annoyed guitar riff and a Devo-esqe call and response bass repose, the song is stage, radio and car-ride friendly and counterweights the angrier and darker moments of the release, like the pissed off “Dirty” the drowning “Girl of My Dreams,” and the bemoaning ballad “Suit of Lights”. The signature BME sound is still there on these tracks: drums that sound just a bit too digital, keyboards that don’t really wanna chill on the back burner, guitar and bass that would like to be very much in your face, thank you very much. It’s doubtful that this new direction, thematically, will radically alter the group’s fan base, though "Everyone is Gay" has the potential to pick-up and run like Nerf Herder. We’re pretty aware that most people who read this site won’t quite get this record, or certainly won’t get into it. Indeed, if you’re annoyed that we’ve once again put off reviewing the Rustler debut, you prolly won’t want to pick All You Need is Blood up. But whatevz, we’re goofball nerds too.

The CD release party for All You Need is Blood is Saturday night at Rudyards, with a bill that includes Le Sed (who once opened for Twisted Sister) and MK Ultra, a political punk band that is apparently unaware of the Bay area band with the same name.

Stream: Black Math Experiment - Everyone is Gay

VIDEO: WESTHEIMER BLOCK PARTY COMMERCIAL

OH SNAP! No time to talk, gotta run!

ATTN SNOWBIRD SKI RESORT BUSINESS CENTER: YOU ARE RATHER PRICEY

OH HAI. We're at a ski resort checking out the local music scene here in the Utah mountains. Frankly, we find it lacking, though the full roster of uh-mah um-pah bands we caught the other night was pretty wicked. And seriously, you cover John Denver, you're flying a jet-plane in our book. But sadly, as thin as the music here is, so too the wireless internet. And they're charging per minute rates in the business center like this mouse is made of solid gold cocaine. In other words, we must be brief, and you know this must be important.

THERE ARE TWO (count em) TWO way way aces music festivals in Houston this weekend, both with that local glint we do love so, and both pretty cheap. We'll write more later in the week, but we wanted to give you the heads up that The Axiom 20th Anniversary Festival is Friday and Saturday night, taking over both stages at Fitzgerald's, and liberating for you the memories of many many Houston bands long passed like Sprawl, deSchmog and Joint Chiefs.

THEN ON SATURDAY, all day infact, but ending reasonably early enough for you to catch day two of the Axiomapaloza, is 2007's second Westheimer Block Party, put on by the good people at the Free Press and featuring something excessive like 50 bands, including tons of our favorites (Golden Axe, Sabra Laval, Cop Warmth, Rustler, Generic Tribe and Hearts of Animals just to name a few), and it's totally free.

Oh and you know, with all this good stuff happening, there's no WAY we will be in town for it. SBT! We'll write more when we're not paying per minute.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE IN UTAH

Well, it's been a fun week back in town, we've managed to catch a few shows, write a few reviews and even tip a hat or two. Tomorrow morning, early as the sun, however, we're off to the Beehive State to experience all that can be ingested in the tiny mountain town of Snowbird. Sadly, given the time of year, there will be neither snow or birds, but there will be strict drinking laws and beer that is silly weak. BUT WHAT SHALL YOU, OH LOCAL LOCAL, HAVE IN STORE?

FRIDAY

• End the Death Penalty Happy Hour w/The Dimes, Wicked Poseur and Program @ The Proletariat

• Indian Jewelry, Numbers and Hearts of Animals @ Rudyard's

• Rilo Kiley @ Warehouse Live

SATURDAY

• Gowns, Blades, A Pink Cloud @ Rice (free day show)

• Meat Puppets, Dead Roses, Dizzy Pilot @ The Proletariat

• Okkerville River @ Walter's

• The Black Lips, Cop Warmth, The Wiggins @ The Engine Room

EXECUTIONS PUT ON HOLD IN PRE-EMPTIVE RESPONSE TO HAPPY HOUR BENEFIT

People who travel overseas know that one of the more cheek-rouging parts of being an American is explaining to citizens of the more chill nations of the world why we do some of the things we do: how we gonna be so rich and some people still don't got health coverage? why we wanna pretend we aren't going to war for oil when oil is the only reason one should go to war? why do we wear Crocs? But among the most oopsie-doopsie is the death penalty, which, even though intelligent people disagree about it, still puts us on the same red rover team as quite a few of the more unpleasant regimes around the world. And let's face it, government doesn't exactly bat a thousand, so when people's lives are on the line, we should proceed with caution.

Granted, the only worse way to die than being killed by the state is being murdered using one of the methods those on death row chose, but so far the death rate is 100% globally, and so judgment will come - might as well let those bastards get the booga-booga in jail for forty years before they go.

While we're still a ways away from getting all 21st century on this tip, executions in Texas are on temporary hold and the Supreme Court moves to consider a Kentucky case about the legality of the particularly lethal cocktail that we inject. BUT THAT DON'T MEAN THERE AIN'T SOME PARTYING TO DO!

Local civil war reenactor Dan the Bother has put together an anti-death penalty happy hour show at the Proletariat tonight with a line up to die for (that was so bad). Program, The Dimes and Wicked Poseur are all on the bill, and you'll be done and ready right in time for karaoke. Jolted!

NEW MATHLETES VIDEO: ONLY SHALLOW

Remember a few weeks ago when we told you about Joe and his Mathletes releasing an anthology of the various cover tracks he had recorded to date? Well, not content with the that alone, he's put together a video for their cover of the My Bloody Valentine standard Only Shallow using video culled from 8 months or so of live performances by the band. Does that shade of pink look familiar to you?

REVIEW: BRING BACK THE GUNS - DRY FUTURES

It's not a mistake, or if so it is fortuitous, that the opening track to Bring Back the Guns' years-in-the-making debut, the minute and a half screamer 'No More Good Songs,' starts things the way it does. The opening drum hits, combining the impatient clang of a cell-block cup and plate protest chant with the pent-up stomp of an angry bull, signal that this record is a beast that has been waiting to get out the gates for too too long. In drop percussive scrapes of guitar clawing at the latch and the lock. And with bass and vocals, it is rocketing. By the time a voice shrieks the line "IT'S A LIST OF THINGS GONE WRONG!" you can't help but wondering if that extra bit of spit behind it isn't a reference to the tumults and summersaults involved in getting the album complete (well documented by the Houston Press in their review of the record).

In return for all the wait and the wonder, this album repays with weight. Dry Futures changes parts, tempos and timing like Girl Talk does samples, dropping snarling ear-sticking hooks in and out of the arrangement just at the moment they wet your appetite, often never to be heard again until you hit the rewind button. The dedication to irregular numerology and tightness that this collection of 11 bangers exhibits would make a carpenter’s square envious, while not a moment of even verges on mathy. We remember once hearing about how the Guns wanted to write pop songs that were challenging and smart. This is a dumb statement because pop songs are pop songs in no small part because they are dumb and easy. That was a dumb belief because Dry Futures shows how to do just that.

By stringing together an avalanche of chicken-nugget sized straight-ahead guitar, drum and bass parts, some of them completely thrown away (seriously – ride some of these riffs out for a while. Oh hell forget it, you know what you’re doing), the LP begs to differ with your attempt to sing or hum along, and yet still manages to pump your cortex full of more highlights than a Timberlake album. Even when the pace slows down a bit, and you’re riding a candy-railed toboggan across a frozen lake instead of down a craggy cliff, the ice below is perilously thin, and is a boot stomp away from dumping you into a frantic lake of sharks and piss. Nearly every track ends as unexpectedly as a roll of toilet paper, and is followed up immediately with a new direction as refreshing as finding a replacement under the sink.

And even setting aside the craftsmanship of the arrangements, the production is Cadbury rich. The drums shake; the guitars cut; the bass pulses. This is a great record both to listen to and to listen to.

Dry Futures has been available in stores since its retail release on Tuesday, and should be available online from iTunes and Emusic today, or, in person at Bring Back the Gun's record release party tonight, with headliners The Octopus Project and opening act Satin Hooks. It is records like this from bands like this why The Skyline Network exists in the first place. If you’re not into this LP, you should be wary that you might be headed on a path to becoming the sort of music listener who will eventually spend their evenings hitting refresh on perezhilton.com while dry humping their cat.

It should not be overlooked that in the time it took for this record to be written, recorded, re-recorded and now released, locally focused online music coverage has grown to over half a dozen distinct outlets, glossies like Envy and 002 have started paying attention and a number of record labels of varying ambition have added to a solid self-release output that is impossible to keep up with (just ask our inbox). If there ever was a State of the Union for this scene, this would be the record; and the state of the Union is strong. Recommended.

MP3: Bring Back the Guns - In Piles/On File

CRYING ARE THE SKELETONS: SCATTERED PAGES PUT THE BRAKES ON LIVE PERFORMANCES

DAMMIT. There was a time in our lives when we saw the Scattered Pages practically every week. Lately, we admit with sheepishness, its dwindled down to only a few times per year. And this is ass, because their live performances (and oh my god their records) have grown more nuanced, appreciable and thematically, well, scattered while remaining as dance and sing-along fun as they ever were. So, we encountered a complete feeling of 'fuck, we blew it' as the following forwarded email unfolded in our inbox under the subject "Thursday - Farewell":

Come out and sing with us. This could be the final refrain. We will
dust off the old song book for a definitive run-through.

The Scattered PAGES will make more songs and will hopefully play more
shows. Our dear Andy is moving, so the band's live performance
schedule might be drastically different in the future. This is not
goodbye, but we still want you all to know that it has been a pleasure
and we thank everybody who has come out to see us over the last 6
years.

As of press time, we're not quite sure where Andy is moving or why, but we wish him all our best. Though nominated in the Best Drummer category in this year's Houston Press Music Awards, McWilliams, was far more than just a banger of the fours, being the group's engineer in the studio, a songwriter and a player of all manner of instruments. Indeed, at many a local show Paul 'FALCON' Valdez had been working the drums to free Andy up for other tasks. He is as heart to the band as it has soul, and he will be missed (we are getting misty for the time we used to spend with him. Cursed time and how it changes things). So, if you are not already hopelessly committed to the Octopus Project/Bring Back the Guns/Satin Hooks show on Thursday, you haven't much excuse to be anywhere but Brazil (10pm - Free).

Stream: Scattered Pages - Various Tracks

REVIEW: BLADES - WHO'S THE CREAMPUFF NOW?

For most of us, the extent to which any weekly output of aerobic exercise can be attributed is generally the tertiary effects of other activities: running from the bar to the car in the rain; pushing a shopping cart around Specs; taming the ouchpony. Granted, there are some (many, actually) who have found both joy and transport in the bicycle, and if you can believe what you read on calorie-count.com, even riding one’s scooter burns more calories than sitting around writing record reviews. However, there does come an unfortunate time when each of us must take a look at the mirror and recognize that we are not interesting or renaissance-man enough to score a life partner who won’t first have to be wrest from the monogamous emotional clutches of a cat.

And so – off to the Y! Whether you favor the parking tickets downtown or the chill of 34th street, it’s time to start working of the Sparks and the entropy of age. For this, however, you’ll need quite a few sweatbands, shorts and Property of XXX Athletics t-shirts. You’ll also need sweet jams to help fumble you along and keep your mind off what it is that you are actually doing. If you’re just starting off (and trust our leg muscles and sizable man-pouch – we are just starting out), you’re going to have to take it chelada style for a while: lime and salt and slow and easy. Indeed, the first few times you may not want to much more than just get on the treadmill and walk with the quickness of making a connecting flight. Sure, we’d all like to get on one of those stair-master thingeys right off the bat and move our legs with the quickness of a Golden Axe double-kick, but let’s be real about this: you’re gonna need to ease in like the ocean. Also, you’re kidding yourself if you think you’re going to lose any weight working out to Menace of a Heartless Monster.

There are many reasons why Blades’ Who’s the Creampuff Now? EP is the perfect set for getting started in the curve-ditching business. For one, it’s got the word Creampuff in the title, which is obviously what our fat little double chin craves to be working out on instead. Also, like all instrumental rock albums, it has no words, and therefore you’re free to make up your own little motivating lyrics to them, such as “Laughing Cow, Laughing Cow – cha cha cha; ten more minutes I’ve burned you off” (that was the dumbest sentence we have ever written on so many beautiful levels). Further, it clocks in at about 28 minutes, which is a good amount of exercise for people who haven’t gotten around to upgrading their footwear past the slip-on stage. But for us, what really works is the deliberate pacing of Blades’ songs, especially on this release. It’s as comfortable to walk to as it is to pick up the pace with. And there are bursts (but not outbursts, mind you), of speed and increased intensity where you’re fat ass just might want to hit the SPEED UP button a few times and earn some sweat for a change. Mercifully too, there are moments where things slow down a bit.

For a local debut, Creampuff has many hallmarks that set it at contrast with the live experience: production that doesn’t quite capture the sheer sheerness of sweating alongside them; a suite of songs that make sense together, but don’t quite form the complete picture; pacing that’s just a weeee to slow. These things are neither here nor there – and much of it can be chalked up the typical recording pratfalls of a ‘young’ band (as even a cursory listening to their recent Grey Ghost release reveals the increased prowess that comes with time). There are more instrumental bands in this scene than we can ever recall at this moment, servicing nearly every particular sub-taste of record-collection association. If moments of triumph, goof, dissonance and murk all pushed along with maniacal-free sense of urgency are your cup of Gatorade, we recommend picking this gem up (available at Sound Exchange) and adding it to the soundtrack in your personal chariot of fire.

Stream: Blades - Various Tracks

BY THE END OF TONIGHT RELEASE NEW SPLIT IN CONTINUING QUEST TO PREVENT OUR EVER BEING CURRENT WITH REVIEWING THEIR CATALOG

Let's take a second and count up all the By The End of Tonight releases that are sitting in our 'to review' pile. 1) Their split 7" with O Pioneers!!! 2)The Gunslinger EP 3) My Mom Caught me in my Room Beat Boxin' ep 4)He's Home with Bones that Grow the Way They're Supposed to EP 5)The Imaginary EP. Granted, we've subsequently learned that the final four EPs, which were released on those 3" mini-cds and each recorded by a separate band member in the style of Kiss (or Outkast), technically came out before we starting reviewing music and bringing you the gossip about which you have little interest, but still, they are on our stack.

NOW ADD to that their newest baked potato bar of hits, a split on Temporary Residence with the band Tera. The CD release (though it will also be out on limited edition vinyl) is tonight at the White Swan, with a bill that includes O Pioneers!!!, Blades, Paper Moons and Lisa's Sons. YUSS. We heard these tracks, though perhaps in a bit of a rough form, during a visit to Chris Ryan's Dead City Sound earlier this year, and we have to agree with his assessment that this is the set of bangers that has the potential to take this hard touring foursome to a new plane of national visibility. We sure hope so - maybe a bit of fame will help put the breaks on their release schedule so we can play catchup.

MP3: By The End of Tonight - Setting Sail in April (from A Tribute to Tigers)