ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE LIKE BASING AN ENTIRE MUSICAL PROJECT ON A SINGLE ISSAC HAYS SONG

That song would be Walk on By, and the project would be called Portishead. No joke. We are still on vacation and not posting, but wanted to give you a heads up on what is coming up this weekend. We will check back in Monday with our New Year's guide. party call me.

FRIDAY
Dead Roses, Future Blondes, A Thousand Cranes, brown paper kites @ The Engine Room
This little jammer is called Winter Luck Festival, and will cost you the monumental sum of five dollars. That’s like two and a half times what you owe your menacing paperboy, but still, can you imagine what A Pink Cloud is going to sound like in the cavernous hall that is The Engine Room. Also, according to this Hands Up post, the Fatal Flying Guilloteens are also playing, but we’re like 87% sure it’s a joke. BUT WHO KNOWS, OH MYSTERIONS. We’ve also seen a listing of this show where A Pink Cloud is on the bill. We have no idea.

Program, The Factory Party, DJ Dirty @ Bohemeos (708 Telephone Road)
This show, on the other hand, is only a SINGLE PAPERBOY FEE! They also do setups, so bring your liquors and what not and have a chill cheap evening with two of the city's dance rock best. Wurd.

SATURDAY
Secret Show @ The Shady Tavern
The Daytime Rock gets started at 2pm. As always there will be good times, veggie food and a shamefully small crowd. Last week Butch from 30 Foot Fall played, along with a rockabilly band with members of Elaine Greer’s band. Serious Party Call Me action. This week, we sadly do not have a riddle to help figure out who might be rockin’ a little, but we’ve seem to recall that perhaps Ben from Basses Loaded/American Sharks will be doing a solo set. Rumorz.

Grand Buffet, Bring Back the Guns, DJ Jester, Cee Plus @ Rudyards
HAH! This is a weird bill, but we’re pretty convinced it will work. Steel-town rappers Grand Buffet should provide a pretty good follow-up for the Malmsteen in the Middle rock of The Guns (wish we could take credit for the Malmsteen thing). Jester and Cee Plus will totally tear it up on the discs. If you have been thinging “gee, I wish there would be a dance party at Rudyards soon” then your New Year’s Panda dreams have come true.

Judas Bear, Bright Men of Learning, Che Arthur, Elaine Greer @ The Proletariat
FEATURING DJ LAWN CARE and DJ ADR CHANGING YOUR LIFE WITH WHIPS RECORD SELECTIONS. IMAGINE IF GOLDEN AXE FOUGHT THOR FOR RIGHTS TO THE DANCE FLOOR – THE JAMS WILL BE SO EPIC. Also, these are good bands, and it has been forever since BMOL took to the stage.

SUNDAY
Balaclavas, Dead Roses @ River Oaks Theater
What a whips place to see a show. Why has no one thought of this before. Seriously. Balaclavas is Next Level and playing here just goes to show it. Also, they will have some remaining copies of their totally wheel in the sky new ep. GO GET ER IN THE DONE ZONE!