ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU SMELL OF PISS AND VOMIT

OH MAN – aren’t you stoked about the smoking ban? Finally, you’ll be able to breath deeply the smell of thirty years of cumulative spilt beer, urine and barf now that it won’t be covered up by smoke. What a relief! Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to get back to our drinking, which, fortunately, we can do more of now that smoking won’t get in the way. Thank the maker that our impending liver collapse, drunk shenanigans and driving while wasted aren’t public health issues that might get drinking in bars banned. PHEW!

OH CRAP, WE SPILT OUR LIFESTYLE CHOICE ON YOUR SHIRT, NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO WASH IT WHEN YOU LEAVE THE BAR AFTER ALL!

FRIDAY! - SMOKING!
Kinsey's 21st Birthday f/The Mighty Orq @ Buffalo Fred's*
Arthur Yoria @ Rudyard’s
AU REVOIR SIMONE, Oh No! Oh My! @ Walter's
Def Leopard, Foreigner, Styx @ The Woodlands
Ladyheat, Bayou City Beach Party @ Notsuoh
Slayer, Marilyn Manson, Bleeding Through @ Reliant Arena

SATURDAY! - NO SMOKING!
Cop Warmth, Alsace Lorraine, Rapeworm, Roman Gabriel, Todd’s Beast Rising out of the Sea @ Notsuoh (upstairs)
Ladyheat, Bayou City Beach Party, Program @ Notsuoh (downstairs)*
The Charlie Daniels Band @ Sam Houston Race Park

SUNDAY! - NO SMOKING!
Buxton, Dignan, Hollywood Black, The Church of Philadelphia @ The Proletariat

*indicates where the Skyline Network Glitteratti Squad is most likely to be