REVEALED: PRESS MUSIC AWARDS NOMINEES

Well, SUPA DUPA! Thanks to loose lips and sinking ships, we’ve been able to get our hands on the list of bands set to show up on the ballot for this year’s Houston Press Music Awards. Many will enter, few will win – but congratulations to everyone whose made it on to the radar. We could divvy it up for you, and present a reasonable approximation of what we think the ballot would look like, but there’s already been one parade rained on this weekend. So, we’ll leave the thunder to the official announcement and present to you, instead, the award we think all of these folks should win. Congrats again, and keep yr browser pointed here for the details of the actual announcement and our totally helpful voting guide.

• Arthur Yoria – Most likely to be compared to Tody Castillo
• Blaggards – Most likely to be the punk band your Irish great uncle can sing along to
• Bring Back The Guns – Best Verizon Wireless Theater audience reception
• Chrome 44 – Most Likely to encourage you to rise up
• Cl'che – Most likely to be confused with a part of speech
• Collective Hallucination - Highest per-capital acid consumption
• Deadbolt Zen – Scariest website flash intro
• Dizzy Pilot – Best vocal performance with a telephone microphone
• Drop Trio – Most likely to be nominated every year they are a band
• Dune TX – Most likely to be a band longer than your first marriage
  
• Eyeagainst – Best sunglasses
• Fatal Flying Guilloteens - Most into it
  
• Fondue Monks – Most delicious clerics
• Glass Intrepid – Most unintended Star Trek reference
• insect warfare – Best artwork no matter what
• Jack Saunders Band – Closest relation to a chicken kingpin
• Jana Hunter – Most likely to move to Baltimore
• Karina Nistal – Most likely to have last name mispronounced
• Katie Stuckey & The Swagger – Surliest backline
• Kemo for Emo – Must unlikely Turbojunged hump night performer
• LL Cooper – Largest name overlap with LL Cool J
• Lone Star Porn Star – website URL most likely to get you fired from work
• Sideshow Tramps – most likely to loose due to a name change
• Million Year Dance – Least favorable reception at a nonalignment pact cocktail party
• Miss Leslie and Her Juke-Jointers – Stonedest coin-op iPod
• Molly and the Ringwalds – Grossest pet condition
• Ninevolt – Most likely to be pirated from your smoke detector to power a delay pedal
• O Pioneers – Best bass player
• Opie Hendrix – Reddest Afro
• Peekaboo Theory – Most surprising nominee (seriously. Glad these guys are getting props)
• Poor Dumb Bastards – Poorest, dumbest bastards
• Pride Kills – least likely to turn the other cheek
• Ragged Heart – Band we are most annoyed we haven’t caught live yet.
• Satin Hooks – Taking longest to record LP we predict will destroy our face
• Sean Reefer and the Resin Valley Boys – Most weed references
• Sharks and Sailors – Most likely to topple pillars at your house party
• Skyblue72 – Most stickered van
• Snit's Dod and Pony Show- Biggest dick to the staff at bars he plays at
• Something Fierce - Most earnest rock kids
  
• Southern Backtones – Hottest audience
• Spain Colored Orange – Most cancer aware
• The Allen Oldies Band - Oldest
• The Aqua Velva - Wettest
• The Black Math Experiment – Best performance of a song about David Arquette with David Arquette
• The Dimes – Best music video
• The El Orbits – Best outer space cantina
• The Flamin' Hellcats – I has a fire
• The Gritboys – Most sandpapery
• The Handsomes – Jeepiest Brahs
• The Jonx – Nicest dudes
• The Mighty Orq – Most likely to be in Shrek 4
• The Scattered Pages – Most handmade gear
• The Wiggins – Best use of Neil Patrick Harris
• Tody Castillo – Most likely to be compared to Arthur Yoria
• Wayside Drive – Least likely to be named after an actual street
• Whorehound – Baddest bitch
• Zydeco Dots – Best use of genre in name.

In other Press news, big ups to music editor John Lomax for winning two AAN Altweekly awards from Association of Alternative Newsweeklies. While we may occasionally poke the hot poker at Lomax and the press for their editorial decision making (for example, in one of the stories he won for he flat-out states that he took an un-informed pro-Blue October stance simply because it was the opposite view held by you damn hipsters and indie rock types), we would never dispute the hypothesis that he is a good writer. Congrats.