REVIEW: RIFF TIFFS - AFFLICTINNITUS

So. Here's something Diddy ain't done yet. He hasn't become a ghost dolphin. Which is a shame, cause we have a perfect record for him should he find himself bottle-nosed and sleek, gliding effortlessly through the breaking surf in slow motion as an impossibly large moon crests over the Pacific horizon. Sure, there would be some details to work out, such as whether his tasteful but blingy earring would need to be relocated to the dorsal fin or flippers. And what of his signature mustache and gautee combination; do dolphins even grow hair? But it matters not, these minor details as to the shape of things to swim, once magically transformed (something achievable by so powerful a god as only Neptune himself) the eternal soundtrack to his days of exploration in the cool deep blue could only be Afflictinnitus by the Riff Tiffs.

We recommend this record because, as Dolphditty would no doubt realize given his afore-demonstrated ability to spot talent, his iPod is rocking the sounds of the submerged. Generally, the metaphor employed to ramble on and on about a band whose sound and songwriting invokes large, open spaces is outer-space (or, if you’re Edmund Burke, vast untouched landscapes. Damn, we’re starting to wonder if it might not have been better to make this review about Burke rather than a rapping dolphin). There’s something far more fluid to the Riff Tiffs, however. Rather than vacuum, there are the reverberations of shear waves; the radiating death of solar winds are replaced by the massive undersea conveyors, the current system. Space will freeze you as it violently sucks your gut out; the sea will drown you with a comforting cool. Unless you’re Puff Porpoise – then a chill life of smooth sailing is what you have in store.

This album, the Riff Tiff’s first, is an impressive frigate of sound, with pressure-treated wood so bright not a barnacle one could set-up shop on her hull. It is an ACES escort for casual chilling with the school and introspective dives into the deep alone. We’ve been rocking it out for a week and, like Flipper Daddy will do so until we say So Long, and thanks for all the fish. Recommended.

The Riff Tiff’s CD Release Party is tonight at Bohemos with sweet jams provided by Helicopter Jones. Apologies to the Riff Tiffs for writing sodumb/bad a review of a record we really enjoy.