Promahoney's Weekend Report

Editor's Note - Starting this week, and as weekly as is possible, The Skyline Network is pleased to present a summary of the weekend's event brought to you by Joey Promahoney, a guy who consistently has a better time than you do. Seriously. - ryan

this week started a little early

thursday - (college night) some friends and i headed for the movies with a bottle of 151. sick! i found out the hard way how difficult it is to mix a drink in a dark movie theater. i'm not going to say i put too much in, but it defiantly did the trick. shit! it's still early(11pm), let's hit up poison girl. long story short, they kicked us out, but that's ok, we still have a bottle, and a place to keep drinking. Zack blows fire. everyone passes out.

friday - valhalla @ 10. we do that for a minute. a friend of mine goes to jail.... we hear the real party. kegs of free, cold beer(the best kind). This party was fucking made for booty dancing. so we did. and then the keg floated. "hey, let's go kill this bottle of wine at my house," "SICK!" done deal. drinking til 4. work at 9am(suck!)

saturday - who needs to fucking party?? i got ripped on college night and friday night. i think i'll take it easy... plus i'm broke. so then we hit up a party in the 6th ward(anything that happens in the 6th ward is automatically sick)... so, that was sick.

sunday - luby's, curb your enthusiasm, warcraft III

- Promahoney

I am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been, a Member of Kiss Kiss Kill

While at the merch table of a show the other night, I was handed a copy of Worldeater vs. Not Common: A Split Label Sampler. “It’s terrible,” was the endorsement that came with the disc. But before I could toss it back on the table, or even ask the endorser how he had come into a stack of metal comps that his band wasn’t even on, I spotted a familiar name on the track-listings: Kiss Kiss Kill.

Way back when (like a year ago), I was in a group called Kiss Kiss Kill Kill. What a terrible name, you might be saying to yourself, and indeed you are correct. You see, way back before every band in the world was on fire, the hottest shit this side of the East River were band band band names, like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Hot Hot Heat. So, we thought “why not take it even further? FOUR WORDS! HELL YEAH!” and thus Kiss Kiss Kill Kill was born.

(Ok, if you believed that, then your opinion of me is pretty low and I’d like you to consider that I’m not as much of a tool as you think I am. What actually happened is that a record label sent us a nasty letter claiming that one of their bands already had the rights to our original name and so Damon from Boys and Girls Club thought it would be hilarious to have a contest at a club one night to re-name the band. We literally chose this name out of a hat. It was submitted by Domokos of all people.)

But anyways, back to Kiss Kiss Kill. In the interest of clarity, and to make sure that any snide remarks you make about either of these two bands are on target, here’s a helpful guide to distinguishing between the two groups:

	Kiss Kiss Kill Kill	Kiss Kiss Kill
Membership:	Indie rock Chumps	Art School Thespians
Teased for Sounding Like:	Interpol	Blonde Redhead
Actually Sounds Like:	Interpol	Nunsense vs. Santana
Sample Lyric:	“Please Stay Awhile / He’ll Never Find Us Out / Stay Awhile”	“I wanna follow you to Mars / Like A Thousand Full Guitars / Inside My Pants”
Claim to Fame:	Played least attended Hands Up Houston show of all times (w/Whirlwind Heat)	From the same city as the Liberty Bell
Compilation Appearances:	a mixtape by some girl in Brooklyn	Shittiest Metal Comp ever attempted
Promahoney Says:	"They thought I was in Dethro Skull."	"I thought this was a metal comp."

Where Local Lean Comes First

Yesterday, Channel 2 News was running a story about the high rates of syrup use among teenage Houstonians. The article, which is pegged on the trial of six local pharmacists charged with distributing the drug, is built almost entirely around the results of UT researcher Ron Peters’ annual study of the number of high-school students sippin’ tha lean.

Peter’s study, which hilariously claims that about a third of Houston teenagers be-still with the purple, is flawed not just because they are asking kids at alternative schools (who are more likely to lie), but because they are asking kids at alternative schools (who are more likely to drip the hazy droplets). Perhaps there are caveats in his report that make the research sound less hysterical, but I am content to read what the news tells me (until he starts visiting actual high-schools for his results).

Peters is pleased to share in his statements to Channel Two (where local news comes first, which is obviously why we are seeing this story now and not five years ago) that Houston’s reputation for the lean is such that we are now known as “The City of Syrup.” It turns out, the story informs me, that there was also a DJ from Houston, called DJ Screw, who “reportedly promotes the drug” and developed a style of rap to accompany the drank. Aww. How Cute. The News Does Local Hip Hop.

So, In honor of the timeliness and accuracy of this reporting, I am pleased to present some local suggestions to get your own screwed down rap collection started.

DJ Screw – Three ‘N’ The Morning: Part Two
By far the best selling DJ Screw mix on amazon, which we know to be an authority on the subject. Many reviews cite this as one of his best, but the word at the alternative high-schools is that better mixes are available, but only on tape, from places like Screwed Up Records and Tapes.

Big Moe – City of Syrup
This record is worth it for the artwork alone, where an extremely serious Big Moe lets you in on the joke by pouring a styrophone cup of the purple stuff all over the album title. Full of locals and alleged to be as good for the trunk as it is for the couch. Dizam.

Anything with 25 Lighters
Having stalled out my top five list after two entries, I headed over to tha mecca of drank Valhalla, aka Val holla! During my impromptu survey not one person could name an actual album they thought was a must-have, but this track was universally acclaimed as one of the best.

Well, 3 out of five ain’t bad – hell it’s a better score than the 30% of kids at Episcopal High School sippin this very morning! Do you know about screw? Then on behalf of both our readers, I urge you to leave some suggestions of your own.

Scene Artifact: It Came From Nowhere….

Double 7” Compilation
76.2% Records (1996)

Track Listing:
Side A: Blueprint – Jesse
Side B: Gomez – Painful
Side C: Celindine – Starry Eyes
Side D: The Linoleum Experiment - Lakadaisical

Of all the places to find a scene artifact, the singles bin is my favorite. While, admittedly, there are probably greater hidden treasures to be found in a used tape bin (if such a thing existed), the threshold of love that goes into the production of an actual record is notable. So, like always, while my compatriots lingered idly for nearly half their stay at Sound Exchange, I scoured the sleeves until I located this little gem.

There is a big gap in my knowledge of Houston’s indie music (which, back then, might still have been called Alternative®) as I wasn’t living here (except for a few months) between 1994 and 2000. Accordingly, It Came From Nowhere… was a great score for me. Think of it like this – for me, almost everything between de Schmog’s Fairytale and Sad Like Crazy’s Love Songs to Death doesn’t exist. No Westbury Squares. No Jessica Six. Only the occasional Pain Teens.

I had heard of Blueprint before, but I had never actually heard them or knew who the members were. I asked Roy Mata, who, thought I was making fun of him. Turns out, he was a member for a while, along with Gilbert Alfaro of Spain Colored Orange. Everyone else was described as ‘a bunch of dudes you don’t know.’ Fair Enough.

Jesse is the perfect lead off for this comp, not just because its sound immediately takes me back to the days of sun dresses and ‘zines, but because the earnestness of the songwriting and pervades the entire artifact. Pop-rock from the time when it still seemed like guitars might finally take over the world again; website addresses that still had tildes; street addresses for more information. Love it.

Gomez, (not Gomez) on the other hand, I am familiar with. I am not sure what the Houston connection is (enlighten me, please), but for a while I had their full length with the Danzig-referencing cover. Gomez always reminded me a little bit of Mudhoney, not musically mind you, but in their attempts to be silly. In this Fugazi-plicator, the lyrics are constantly claiming impending suicide. But, like other Gomez tracks, I can’t quite figure out if they are being bitchy or whimsical. If anything, it informs me that my own suicide-related jokes are prolly not very funny at all.

Starry Eyes is the highlight of this collection. Jangly slack-rock that had figured out it was ok to wear a little heart on the sleeves, but with guitars still a little big from the time when many of us may have Preferred an Astronaut. Upon mentioning Celindine (which apparently featured current Boys and Girls Clubber Damon Automatik), more than one person stated definitively that their first demo tape was one of the best Houston recordings of the era and set about trying to locate it. Anyone out there have a copy?

The Linoleum Experiment, a band whose name could only come from the 90s, closes out the comp with an acoustic pop romp. I’d imagine that Thane Matcek (Sad Like Crazy / All Transistor / Thane Matcek and His Band) will be the person most embarrassed by discussion of this release. The music (which uses the same chord progression as a song I wrote a few years before this about changing a girl’s car tire) is fine, but the lyrics are really, well, high school (like lyrics about changing a girl’s car tire, for example). I really don’t want to say anything unkind here, because it’s kinda sweet in a way, all that doting pre-emo emo. I guess Clinton is a metaphor for the entire 90’s for me – everyone gets a aw-shucks pass when critical insight might be warranted or even helpful.

Don’t think that’s fair? Here then, you try and be critic. Last night I came across recordings of Lemonzinger, the Austin pop trio I was in when It Came From Nowhere… was released. Me on bass. Adorable. Do your worst.

(the following comments were made about this post when it was originally made)

Nice find!
That Celindine demo is a classic, let me know if you really want a copy.

Posted by: Mark at August 19, 2005 11:21 PM

Fantastic. Glad you came across this.

Posted by: Joellee at August 20, 2005 12:46 PM

I supplied the picture that was used for that album cover, may even still have it around somewhere. I found it at the Greenbriar Kinko's near a station that was used to make color-laser blowups of photographs, and I can't remember whether it was in the trash or still in the printer tray. I was pretty preoccupied at the time, trying to doctor mine and my friends' ID's so we could drink at a bar (didn't work), but I remember thinking that finding a blown up graduation picture of a hirsute teenaged cowboy, complete with unibrow and braces, and decked out in lime-green cowboy shirt, black hat and neck-ker-tie, was just about the funniest thing that could have happened to me sober.

Posted by: Nathan at August 24, 2005 12:53 AM

Mark - I do really want a copy of the Celindine demo. How can I get that from you?

Nathan - Amazing.

Posted by: ryan at August 24, 2005 12:21 PM

Holy crap. That's awesome! I remember that! Mark, at the time I wondered why you were using that pic for the cover, but I guess it works, it does really stand out. Hahaha

Posted by: Josh at August 24, 2005 05:26 PM

Ryan -

Email me mark@ojet.com and I'll get a copy out to you.

Posted by: Mark at August 27, 2005 03:06 PM

this is trey pool, i was in the celindine thing. i live in austin now but i can make a cd of the celindine demos if anyone would still care to get one.

Posted by: trey at October 18, 2005 09:25 PM

Best Bets This Weekend

Hello Weekend. You shall prove to be to my satisfaction, I can already tell. There is plenty to do, so Do it, England.

Friday
As You Like it @ Miller Outdoor Theater
A favorite summertime ritual is packing up the picnic basket, chilling the flask and heading out the Miller Outdoor Theater for their summer Shakespeare productions. Camped out on the lil' grassy knoll, it's a free evening's entertainment that always entertains. This year, like in the past, they do two productions that are held on alternating nights. Friday Night's performance is As You Like It.

Miss Lily's Drunken Lodge Hall Revue @ The Axiom
Last week, I opined about the increased visibility of burlesque among night-time fare. One reader chimed in to mention that Houston has a home-grown troupe, performing a show at the Axiom every Friday night until September 2nd. You go-go girls.

Gravy Train!!!!, VIP, The Gaze @ Mary Jane's Fat Cat
I can't speak for the other bands, but if you missed The Gaze at the last Starr Project show, you should prolly go check them out (it was supposed to be a one time only performance). Also appearing Friday at Mary Jane's is Gravy Train!!!! and VIP.

Rusted Shut, Pterodactyl, Dakota Building, the Jonx @ The Bill Hicks Resurrection Laboratory
I've never been to this venue, and I've only seen The Jonx live. But my understanding is that this is the show you should go to if you are looking for alternate means to strip the plaque off your teeth.

Saturday
Hamlet @ Miller Outdoor Theater
One of the great things about the Summer Shakespeare productions is their tendency to be placed in non-Shakespearean settings. Isn't it about time we see Hamlet take place on the Battlestar Galactica? Sadly, that will have to wait for another year.

Glass Candy and Dead Roses @ The Proletariat
Yeah, I know. Just last week I was dissing on a Glass Candy 7" that I picked up in a bulk lot of records I bought from a friend. But damn, it's catchy. And locals Dead Roses never play out anymore, so don't skip on this chance to see their rock as rock performance if you haven't previously. The Dum Dum Crue will also be on hand to keep The Proletariat conversation-proof between sets.

Roman Candle Jousting @ Commerce Street Warehouse
More than one person has mentioned to me that they are going to this party, which apparently features people on bikes jousting with roman candles. Seriously. I don't know anything else about it, except that it is alleged to take place at the Commerce Street Warehouse.

That 80's Hair Band @ Mike's Ultimate Sports Bar
Ok, not really, but aren't you a little curious? Oh, man! That 80's Hair Band?!! What a name!

Live Review: Pelican and Big Business

August 3, 2005 – Mary Jane’s Fat Cat

I missed both of these bands at SXSW, and though I own the entire Pelican catalog (thanks rmata), only a single Big Business track hangs out on the iPod. Going in, I had expected that I would find BB just, well, tolerable and subsequently melt myself to the floor in the bliss of Pelican’s double-digit melodic dungeon dusters. Quite the contrary.

Big Business, it turns out, is a rhythm section’s wet dream. I am sure I am not the only person out there that likes to plug in their bass, crank up and play the sort of irresponsibly heavy and fast progressions that vocalist/bassist Jared Warren burrito-stuffs into every song (conversations with others at the show confirmed this). And such riffing is fun for a while, but I don’t ever see myself making a go of writing a song or basing a band around it – a clear sign that not all of us have a Coady Willis to work with. Tight, dense, flattening; I lack the vocabulary to explain further.

Not having heard their album, I can say that, unlike other drum/bass duos such as Death From Above 1979, extra instruments would just get in the way here. There’s no room for a guitar, which would sound runty anyway competing with Warren’s p-bass and stack (not one but two Sunn heads!). BB is just a pleasure to watch, and how many other bands are going to seriously request the soundman make the vocals “more psychedelic” to the sound of laughter rather than ire? As their set climaxed with a punishing rendition of 'Easter Romantic,' Ted TOFD commented “I could leave right now” Indeed.

(Aside: Warren gave openers God’s Temple of Family Deliverance one of the most sincere/earnest onstage appreciations I’ve seen, but we already knew that. Even better was his calling them Destroy the Ghetto).

Pelican, on the other hand. Let me back up. Once upon a time, (and again recently,) there was nothing I liked better than to sit on a porch swing, strap on Orbital flooded headphones and watch a storm roll in. When the IDM postermen made a jaunt through Austin, I jumped at the chance to see them. Setting aside the fact that I accidentally went to the show with the-girl-whose-dancing-embaresses-everyone-in-the-club, I left the show restless, and a more than a little disappointed. Yes, they played Satan and all their other bangers faithfully and interestingly. But to stand there and watch – to not be able to sit down, cloistered in a little cozy world and soak it all in – was not the Orbital experience I was used to. And seeing them live is not the Orbital experience I prefer.

Likewise with Pelican. Some in attendance were more harsh that I would be about the relative merits of their performance. Regardless, I was restless. I wandered about and had conversations. I was part of the problem. Considering that no band should be forced to follow Big Business, one whose focus is on beauty and dynamics (rather than fierceness and power) is completely out of place. Pelican is fantastic, but like Orbital, the live environment is not the ideal way to consume their wares. Perhaps at a fantasy outdoor festival, late in the evening and before Spiritualized headlined, might be a better place to take them in.

I’m still a fan, but if it’s storming the next time they pass through town, I might be content to stay at home and fill my head with their sounds like a gargoyle on my own stoop.


Closing Flamebait: I was hoping to find a member of Houston’s Best Metal Band, Sevrin, to get their thought on the show – but I didn’t see any of them. Sheesh.

CBGB NYC WTF?

You know, New York is just fine. There's plenty of all night eatieries. Some of my nearest and dearest live there. But let me state, definitively, that New York has NOTHING on Houston if it allows a homeless shelter to take over CBGBs. I mean, sure, it's one thing that we can't keep The Abyss or The Vatican or The Aquiarium or any club owned by a Murrah open. But, on the other hand, none of these places were the heart of the heart of the start of punk music.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but perhaps the Bowery Resident's Committee could find someplace less important to New York's New Yorkness to put a few dozen more beds for crackhead recitivists. The BRC is not a poor little non-profit. It is a $25 Million a year operation, with over $15 million coming from the city and state. The BRC rents the entire bulding on that block of Bowery for $16k/month - and they then turn around and charge CBGC $19/k for less than half of that space. They refuse to negotiate with CBGB (even though the club says it has the money it owes) and is going to kick them out when their lease ends this month.

So, if you think that this is lame, I encourage you to take a minute and sign the petition to get the BRC back at the negotiating table with CBGBs.

How to Have a Cheap Monday Evening

Mondays. What can I even possibly hope to contribute to the running cultural commentary on the start of the work week? Not too much. However, though trial and error, I have devised a good way to ease out of the weekend in such a way that you keep spending to a minimum (you’ll need it for the coffee, afterall).

Preparation and Banking – Your apartment/house/trailer
When you get home from work, spend an hour or so rooting around the house for change. Check all the familiar places, and also under the seats of your car (if you have one). Your goal here is to get about $12. Don’t hesitate to swing by Sound Exchange and sell that Junior Vasquez CD that you have no idea how you acquired if you need to make up the difference (ok, actually, Sound Exhange knows better than to buy that trainwreck, but you get the idea). Take the change to any friendly grocery store with a CoinStar machine and get those coins turned into bills.

Dinner – Rudyard’s British Pub
Every Monday starting about 6 or so, Rudz puts out a spread of food for free. That’s right – gratis. They hide it in the side-room downstairs where the pin-ball machine is, and there’s never really a sign or any advertising of it. I don’t even remember how I first heard about it. Fill yourself up on the nice spread of chicken wings, veggies and sweets. Get yourself a glass of water and a Lone Star to wash it all down. Rudz even has a patio now, which, while a great seating option, can’t compare to taking your entourage to the usually empty upstairs to catch some TV on the big screen.
Total Cost: $2 + tip


Drinks – Cecil’s Tavern
You don’t even have to go that far for your next stop. The best kept secret in maintaining a cheap nightlife is Cecil’s on Mondays. I hadn’t been since the fire, but for the past few weeks I have been going and having a great time. And after an evening where I run into plenty of familiar (and new) faces, I find that as I barely stumble up to the bar to pay my tab – I’ve dropped next to nothing. That’s because Mondays at Cecil’s has one dollar domestics and well drinks. Amazing.
Total Cost: $4-6 + tip