HOOTENANNY 2: TWOTENANNY! UPDATES!

AVAST! The next HOOTENANNY is a mere MONTH AWAY! NO! We are not talking about the new Weezer tour of the same name (Sorry Weezer, Awesome! played as you during the first Hootenanny, but if you would like you can play as Awesome! at HOOTENANNY 3: TROITENANNY!). We're talking about that ultra plus super max fun night where some of our favorite Houston bands get all under the covers by playing a set as one of their fav bands. First off: Lineup Updates.

Joining the lineup are two new additions since the last time we wrote: Welfare Mothers and Wild Moccasins. Now, the Welfare Mothers are going to be breaking the stage lights as none other than Mr. Johnny Cash. Stoked. Wild Moccasins are still keeping it a little close to the chest on their choice... but could it be, could the rumors be true? Streetlights? People? We won't stop believing.

Also in TWOTENANNY! news, you'll recall earlier that Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are being performed by Tody Castillo and "Friends." Well, sorry 'bout that Ross and Rachel cause we just got news as to who these so-called "Compadres" actually are. Read em and weep like a Joey spin-off: Benjamin Davis Murphy (Bright Men of Learning), Arthur Yoria, Kurt Coburn (The Scattered Pages) and Travis Foster. Talk about a super group! They should have just played as the Traveling Wilburys. For your memory banks, here is the full lineup:

American Sharks as The Cars
Buxton as Bjork
Custom Drinker (Marshall Preddy) as Rod Stewart
Flowers to Hide as The Cure
The Kimonos as Blondie
Paris Falls as Rush
Sharks and Sailors as The Police
Today Castillo and Friends as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
Welfare Mothers as Johnny Cash
Wild Moccasins as TBD

Woah. Just take a step back at look at that lineup. Damage man, Damage. TWOTENANNY! will once again be at the Mink's Backroom, both upstairs and down with staggered sets, on Saturday July 26th and will set you back a measly $5. We'll have more details when the date gets closer. Party.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: YOU ARE LIKE A PRELUDE TO GUANAJUATO

YUSS. Man. Last night was like Friday. Jenny Westbury, Black Snakes + Kangaroos, Arthur Yoria, Woozyhelmet... plus the bands at those shows we didn't even see!How could this weekend possible get any better? Oh, we know, maybe it's the countdown to going to Mexico for a week to hang out, walk the streets, and drink Buzz Aldrins with our Minka. Yes, that would be about the only way to top it. Sorry 'bout the boast post, let's get to what comes first!

FRIDAY
The Wiggins @ Discovery Green
Ever since we saw the plans for Discovery Green, the whips as coaches new park in Downtown, we've been thinking "hmm. What band would be on the top of our list to see play the outdoor stage there?" Well, it turns out, we didn't have to decide, because the kind and loading dock-having folks down at the Fresh Arts Coalition are having a little schebang in the park this evening, and they've called on Diverse Works to pick some entertainment of their own - the always out of place and therefore always right where he belongs one man rock-it-to-ya band known as The Wiggins. DOOGIE! Totally Free. Totally Starts at Seven. Totally hope we understand the combination of community groups that put this together. Party. PS - It's cheel if you miss this show cause The Wiggins are playing at their own 7" release party Monday at the Mink.

Arthur Yoria and Tody Castillo @ Avante Garden
So. Arthur Yoria started his set last night (just him, a drum machine and Stanley Kibrik's delay pedal) with "Lipstick Smiles" which morphed right into "I Wanna Be Sedated" and finally into a feedback drone noise exercise then suddenly BAM. Done. Crazy. He told us that he and Tody (whose new recordings, we are told by a source of authority are kinda crazy good - and have you been checking our Yoria's weekly MP3 releases too? Daaaamn 28s - where were we, oh yeah, what are they gonna do) are gonna keep it 'loose' and just have a good time about it. Noice.

Also
Lisa's Sons, BLACKIE + DJ sets from Jacob Calle, Bucky, Damon Allen @ Boondocks
They will be giving away iheartcomix cds, and it's a free show. Tuff.

Ladyheat, The Tontons, Piano Vines, Earnie Banks @ The Mink

The Red Dons, The Estranged, Something Fierce, Teenage Kicks @ Rudyards

SATURDAY
Saturday Secret Show @ The Shady Tavern
You know, last weekend we were at the SSS, as we often are, with a relatively small and stable group of people (if you ever want to see Lennie Briscoe, Sew What or Elaine Greer in person, this is your best bet to do so). One of our compatriots, whose fuzzy hat and white shoes shall remain nameless, commented that the one thing people really don't seem to understand about the SSS is the brilliant opportunity to "get totally wasted in the daytime." This is true. Were the bands and the grill not enough, The Shady Tavern does setups, and so if the day drink is your thing, take a bottle and a few bucks and its kind of a cheap and awesome mini-festival afternoon. We don't have any hints on this week's lineup yet, but hopefully Mr Secret will lay down one or two in the comments.

Glass Candy, Farah, TFT(?) @ MFAH
RETURN of the Starbucks Mixed Media Series at the Museum of Fine Arts, this time featuring the artist who we own more vinyl of than we would probably otherwise admit, Glass Candy. Seriously, where did all these 7" and 12"s come from?! The really odd thing is, that they are so much better on stage than on record too (actually, their last release was a big step in the right direction). We think it's the crowd - that whole energy cornball thing. Whatevz. We're just stoked that no local bands with a bad word in their name are on the bill. (PS - Bad Knives, PRKL8TR and Juan the Terrible on the decks wuut).

ALSO
Hardhats and Hotties Party @ Spacetaker
Not really a music thing (although DJ Sun and the Soular Grooves team will be on hand), but it is a semi-fund raiser for Spacetaker's Artist Resource Center, which is a cool thing.

Keiji Haino (acoustic set) @ The Menil Collection
Free. 7:30pm

Faun Fables, The Invincible Czars, The Judas Bear @ The Mink

True Colors Tour featuring Cyndi Lauper, The B-52s, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, Wanda Sykes and Carson Kressley @ Cynthia Woods Mitchell

SUNDAY
Tom Waits @ Jones Hall
WHO? Tickets for this will be available for $10 from people outside who were not admitted due to dressing up like a mule.

also
Real Live Tigers, Redbear, Sabra Laval, Cory Derden @ Notsuoh

Boston, Styx, Night Ranger, Alan Parsons and Rick Derringer @ The Woodlands

GLITTERATTI: SCENE LOOKING BEAUTIFUL

Joe Mathlete and Carlos (Young Mammals) strike a pose at the Act of God show.


Shaggy and Bogle of Bring Back the Guns contemplate the pint? Half ready for a refill?


Act of God.


LOOK AT THOSE HOT SHIRTS, LOOK! adr (The Skyline Network), James Love (Act of God, Golden Axe) and Kyle (Blades) model the latest in FASHION.


REAL MEN WEAR PINK. And Brad Moore (Rudyards) shows off just how real a man he is at the Saturday Secret Show.


The Tontons take the stage by pointy red guitar at the Secret Saturday show.


LOOK! It's Ben of Basses Loaded playing the Saturday Secret show. His side project, Strings and Fingers, is a solo act, but he still manages to play a full bands worth of instruments at the same time. EPIC.


Shoo (Danseparc) and a newly cropped Jay Merrit (LOLPLANTS) destroy all robots at LA Lance and Lyndsey's wedding. Photo by Carrie Murphy


DJ Paramour wrecks shop at Annam Maria and Kimmy's Ghetto Trashed Sweet 16 Birthday Party at Leon's Lounge. Photo by Camille.


Marshall of Bright Men of Learning enjoys a drink on the Poison Girl patio with Jordan, his lovely new bride. Congratz kids!


SCOOTERATTI! The planet saving gas sipping personal transports of Bring Back the Gunners Shaggy and Matt Brownlie, spotted outside Franciscos.


Chris Ryan (Black Congress) is not at a loss for Bad Words. Photo by Jordan Graber.

BONUS VIDEO:

Joe Mathlete, Jay Crosley (Woozyhelmet) and Shaggy (Bring Back the Guns) tear through a version of Michael Row the Boat Ashore in the style of the new ripping ROUNDCORE taking the nation by storm. Video by Elissa Brown.

VIDEO: ACT OF GOD LIVE @ RUDYARDS

Weeeell, it ain't the best video, and we here are the first to admit that no microphone, let alone a tiny tiny one built into a digital camera, could ever hope to capture the punishing shredertainment that is an Act of God performance. But, given how rare they are and how few of you were fortunate enough to be able to see Mr. Love tear it up last night, we thought we would do our good dead for the day and post it here for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

REVIEW: FUTURE BLONDES - 1111/UNITY PURE EPs

To the particular vein of Houstonians whose circle we travel in, those local acts whose prominence extends outside the beltway have done so as purveyors in the grab-bag category often given the sharpie treatment of "outsider music;" think Jandek, Kable and Daniel Johnson. Indeed, the most favorable and widespread press coverage of artists from our city as of late continues to be among folks like Indian Jewelry, Jana Hunter, Insect Warfare and Rusted Shut who, though they may fall well enough in the broadly defined category of 'indie' and appropriate for outlets like Pitchfork and Paper Thin Walls, are nevertheless still too far to the left of the dial to ever be imaginable next to a truck commercial on LA's INDIE 103.1 FM. Given that, it's not terribly surprising that Domokos, the one-named but many-alter-egoed crafter of decidedly acerbic sounds, is not only so well known locally (he was once a candidate for musician of the year in the Houston Press Music Awards, after all), but that even folks who might not be able to ingest more than a few moments of his music still consider him a key fabric to the tattered tapestry of our scene.

Future Blondes is Dom's latest project (he's also involved with the aforementioned Indian Jewelry and Rusted Shut, and has toured and been involved with far to many local and national acts to bother listing). Though the credits on the insert for 1111/Unity Pure list a number of collaborators (and their MySpace lists over two dozen, including a pair responsible for "time travel" and one for "hair/drone"), the strong similarities in the electro sound palette between these recordings and those for A Pink Cloud, his previous solo outing, are unmistakable. This is vintage Dom, but with a fresh take on his approach to 'noise' both structurally and sonicly (and believe us when we say we are not getting into a discussion of whether this is "noise music", what that label even means, etc etc etc etc).

To understand, A Pink Cloud was, in many ways, a Sufic exercise. Its overdriven beats and and disorienting wash of tone repeat, almost without variation, in tight circles like an angry mechanized riveter at the mouth of a river of endless aluminum. To these loops, hulking green machines perform as Whirling Dervishes, repeating the name of Allah while spinning in circles towards a dizzying trance where the self and the ego are centerfuged away and only His presence remains. Like a Rothko, the music of A Pink Cloud is inscrutable, and meaning is almost entirely dependent on what the consumer brings to the composition rather than any intent of the artist to communicate a truth.

And while there is a good deal of this beginning, middle and endlessness to be found on 1111/Unity Pure ("Fla 012 Side A" and "Road to Heaven," stick out in our minds), there's a much greater sense of movement on these EPs. Part of this comes from a greater use of nuance, more richly layered compositions where elements come and go and change as they do. And while tracks like "Biaggio Pummel 1" and "Escape 4" are very loud and very distorted, there is no longer the sense that the production choice was made to run each individual instrument through a Tubescreamer pedal, and then the final mix through one more time just for good measure. The latter is a good example of how Future Blondes differs from A Pink Cloud in terms of the interjection of new elements into the spinning tires of drone. There is a violence, an anger in the splicing and slashing of harrowing heavily processed vocals into the midst of the tune, a jarring effect that you don't really come across in APK recordings.

Whats perhaps most striking about this record is how accessible some of the tracks are, even to softie pop lovers like us who are able to set aside our being miffed about their being no imminent Western Civilization release only upon hearing the phrase "Papermoons full length coming soon." "2016 P.I.R.O.S." or "Future Blondes" would not sound out of place if slipped in between The Orb's "Pomme Fritz" or "Outlands" (and yes, to jog your memory, this is the same The Orb that brought you "Little Fluffy Clouds"). People who like Aphex Twin in the Come to Daddy era would most likely find a similar satisfaction in tracks like "Migration." Now, both of these bands are pretty far from 'the outside;' they've both been on MTV and their songs used in television commercials (Aphex Twin's "B4" in an anti-drug commercial, wtf). And that, we guess, speaks to the power of this kind of music, that something so deliberately beyond unstudied comprehension or classic pop-music structure can underpin even so base a message as the marketing of consumer goods and behavior. 1111/Unity Pure (which, by the way, is sold together as a two-disc set at Sound Exchange) is difficult but rewarding listening, and you won't probably get much satisfaction out of it if you just put it on to ignore and do housework. It won't be for everyone, but it just might be for you and one or two of your sometimes cryptic and unknowable moods. Recommended.

You can catch Future Blondes June 26th at Numbers (for the Free Press' weekly Recession Thursdays show) along with A Thousand Cranes, TENSE, Balaclavas and Voidmate.

ATTN THIS WEEKEND: THANKS TO DADS EVERYWHERE

Updated. Well, our WEEK OF GARAGE ROCK REVIEWS OF ROCK WEEK is winding to a close, and we’d like to take a second out here and give a big thanks to our Dads and all the Dads that made life possible. Thanks for everything, seriously. And also, for us not starting a garage band in your garage when we were young – you’re welcome. Enjoy the stuffed grape leaves. But there’s a weekend a brewing, and we need to let the people know about the ROCK. Wish you were here.

FRIDAY
Riddle of Steel, Sharks and Sailors, Motion Turns it On @ Walters
Motion Turns it On is about to head out on tour. Brave, with gas prices being what they are – send them off right, with coffers full and spirits high. Also, have you heard the new Sharks and Sailors stuff? No? Too good to listen to Tite Jams Radio? Well, you should, because it’s the jam. Party.

Welfare Mothers, Black Black Gold, Guitars, DJ Suzi Puke @ River Oaks Theater
Great Venue, great acts, great axes. Starts at midnight, and remember that River Oaks has a full bar.

Also
Fat Tony, You(Genious), DeeRail, Kam @ The Mink

SATURDAY
Saturday Secret Show @ Shady Tavern
We got this tip from the organizers:

yozer. this week there is a TON of shit. some acoustic dude i dont know. obviously TONS of shit. a new solo project from a member of bases loaded, and a solo dude who hasn't played out in years but is awesome, he used to be in a band last summer? what? wait and see!

As always, bands start at two and the bar does set-ups. Yuss.

Black Math Experiment’s Final Show @ The Mink
Yep. Their final show. Bummer, but that’s the circle of life we guess. They’ll be no doubt rolling out their many fan favorites from over the years and pushing it to the limit like a flashdancer. Not to be missed.

Miss Leslie (CD Release Show) @ The Continental Club
You know, we were always fans of bands like BR-549, so it goes to follow that we tap the steel-tips to Western Swing stalwarts like Miss Leslie. Aren’t we all a little bit country, after-all.

Also:
Extra Golden @ The Orange Show
Chicago, The Doobie Brothers @ The Woodlands

SUNDAY
Dysrhythmia, AWAKE and ACT of God @ Rudyard's
You know, last night we were watching the fourth Die Hard movie, which is kind of one of the best movies of all times and could lead us to question our slavish devotion to the science fiction cannon of Vin Diesel. We've been so distracted by how BA it was that we totally forgot to mention this equally Yippie Ki Yay show. Dude. Act of God never plays anymore, btw.

Teenage Kicks, Boats!, PMRC, The Caprolites @ The Mink
PUNK ROCK WRITERS BLOCK!

Rancid, Complete Control, Deathbed Repentance, Hell City Kings (aftershow) @ Warehouse Live
It’s kind of a given that Jay Merritt and Will Adams will be at this show.

REVIEW: THE CAPROLITES - GREY GHOST #55

Ahh The Caprolites. We've been waiting to review their disc for this week, GARAGE WEEK OF REVIEW OF ROCK WEEK, but in the interim, there was some silly drama between us and them. Unfortunate. You see, when people get sensy fensy, or generally are guilty of taking the internet seriously (which we most assuredly have been OJ of), you pretty much have to recuse yourself from any attempt at objective criticism. Let's face it, they called us cock-blowing do-nothings, and that does not lend itself to any detachment. It's not like we're Rolling Stone or Pitchfork or something - we don't have an editorial review board to make these sorts of judgments - just alot of money and a really big hot tub.

But we really wanted to review this and get the word out. We were, afterall, big fans of The Sporatics, and seeing as how The Caprolites are mostly the same band with a matching personnel addition and subtraction, we hatched a plan to remove ourselves from the process. So, what we did instead was use a broadcast picture message text advertising a plethora of liquids at the Skyline Network World International Extreme Headquarters, and created a focus group out of those who answered the siren's call (New Order reference completely un-intentional). Our final group of four reviewers get to retain both the beers and make-shift Joneses they were able to drink and their anonymity. And you, dear readers, get as close to an objective review of Grey Ghost #55 as we could figure out how to do. Here is the transcript of their real-time comments while listening to the EP, track by track.

Track 1 - LSD Killed My Mod

- High school marching band snare.
- LSD?
- LSD?
- I did LSD, it was nothing like this.
- Did John Sears record this? [Editors' Note: YES]
- How long is this song the same thing over and over?
- It's like LSD because at some point you start asking yourself when will it be over.
- Not a bad [song] part at all, just shouldn't have done it five times.
- It's the whole song?
- Kind of rocking
- It felt so good to them, they kept doing it.
- [in person on LSD voice] Oh shit did we just do this? No, lets do it again. Oh shit did we just do this? No, let's do it again.
- Woah did you see that?
- Are you still on acid?

Track 2 - Shake It

- I like this one
[focus group is hand-clapping along to the beat]
- This makes me wiggle
- It's a surf song
- I think they might be a surf band.
- I like the funky bass line
- Me too
- I see what you mean about the lyrics
[more group hand clapping]
- They're all kids, right?
- Maybe they're so ADD that they can only interest themselves playing the same parts.
- I like this one.
- Woah another part!
- It's a good party jam.
- What's the dance where you go like this [swings arms up and down]?
- The Monkey
- It seems like you could do The Monkey to this.
- Or The Swim
- It seems like a bunch of kids in the 60s, no the 50s, like Greasers. [This song] may bring the Greasers and the Soches together.
- This song will bring together the Sharks and the Jets.
- I like this song.
- If you have two gangs in formation facing off and snapping at each other, it seems like Gidget would come out and put this on and then there would be a beach dance party and then everything would be ok.
- They would drink malts together
- It's grungier than that.
- They would bust out knife combs.

Track 3 - I Do What I Want

[track starts out with band member saying 'Phantom of the Opera']
- haha stupid.
- Theater! Drama!
- They got the whole riff thing down.
[Focus group members bob their heads to the song]
- This could be adr's theme song.
- This is my new favorite party band.
- If they weren't such assholes on the [Hands Up Houston message] board, everyone would love them.
- Isn't this basically the Black Lips, like kind of a shitty pop band that supposedly parties but are actually 16?
- You want a Motrin?
- Ibuprofen and alcohol isn't bad.
- You know how many I have taken today?
- [playfully sings lyrics] I'm so drunk, I'm so high, I just wanna get some
- [playfully mimics lyrics] I'm 18, I'm so young, I'm so dumb, I got a guitar. Naah, it's not that bad.
- It's ok. I would never buy this record or put it on or stay and watch the show, but it isn't terrible. I have a different kind of ADD and I don't have time for this.
- I like this song.
- It's like that South Park where Cartman is all "I do what I want."
- I like the lyrics, hahah.
- I love these kids.
- I do what I want too, which is why I won't listen to this record.
- It's like they just discovered they're adults. I'm middle age, you can't tell me what to do. You know what it is, it's not super punk rock to say 'I do what I want' when you're 18. It's super punk rock to be Matt Murillo (The Ka-Nives) and be that way. "I'm 35 and I do what I want." When The Ka-Nives do it, it's funnier. When you're 18, you're supposed to do this.
[someone drinks a large bug in their drink, a roach, and everyone freaks out]
- Maybe we're too old to like this and that's why.
- We're old.
- I could totally see being into this when I was younger, even in my 20s, but not now. It's totally whatever though, it's fine.
- I can't believe they haven't started selling hamburger phones at Urban Outfitter yet.
- Let's go to a punk show.
- Let's go to Fitzgeralds.
- Let's go to sleep.

Track Four - Not Quite Right

- What was that sound?
- An elephant fart maybe?
- Is that [the person playing the bass] Roy Mata (Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Black Congress)?
[people mimic the way Roy shakes his head from side to side when he plays]
- It's the same thing, more of the same.
- The things that need to be said about this song were said about the other songs.
- It sounds like something from the 70s on vinyl that Larry Pirkle would find and be excited about.
- I like the other songs better, don't like the vocals.
- It's not quite right.
- I wish my High School garage band had sounded like this, like an authentic 70s band. I am really not the best person to ask about this, as I am not into garage bands.
- I am glad to have heard so I know what it sounds like.

There you have it. Our Focus Group's thoughts on the Caprolite's Grey Ghost #55 EP. Because this is a Grey Ghost it was in a limited run of 13 copies, all of which were placed at Domy Books, and none of which may still be there (but it never hurts to call them and ask). If not, you can actually download all these songs from their MySpace, or perhaps they'll have something to sell at their show Sunday at the Mink with PRMC, The Takes, Teenage Kicks and Boat. Thanks again to our focus group (sorry about the pizza - Red Barron FTW), and because, in the end the positives outweighed the negatives, we're going to go ahead and give this release a Recommended.

REVIEW: WELFARE MOTHERS - LONG BROWN HAIR 7"

You know the one thing that those kickball games that Robin Rubber Duckie organizes are missing? (Ahem - Pause for a minute for some disastrously overdue praise to the whips for Miss Robin. Not only does she do the whole kickball thing, but she was the lady behind the inner loop-wide game of Assassin last year. Her organization of epic non-booze fueled fun is so positively wholesome that we kind of feel like kind of a shithead ordering shots of Jaeger from her. But, uh, back to what her kickball games are missing). Entrance songs. You know, like how they used to always play U2 for Biggio when he strolled up to the plate, or when Jose Lima would wind up they would do that little Casa Ole jingle (fresh too-day, TODAY!)

Granted, the one time we went to one, there was a drum circle operating in the immediate vicinity, but we are going to come right out and say that nothing from the mind of Arthur Hull would ever get us sufficiently pumped to do the three step trot and then rocket one deep into left field. No, we think that, this week anyways, if we did get invited back to one of those lazy Sunday games, and we were asked to provide a tape to play when the time came for us to deliver a crushing offensive maneuver, we'd prolly pick Long Brown Hair by the Welfare Mothers.

The A-Side of this, their first release, is rumble tumble fun, polished like a rock in a tumbler (i.e. from hard knocks and not with some goop and a handkerchief). The two chord main riff is pure power-pop bliss, as catchy as The Knack or The Romantics at their finest, but with just enough grit to be sure they never end up in a Sun Kissed commercial. On the flip, "Bloodsucker" takes the unexpected step of adding an acoustic guitar to the band's otherwise garage-issued vox/bass/drums/electric guit setup. The percussive strumming (you can't really hear to full body of the guitar, just the scraping of the pick over the strings) adds to the rambunction , and adds to the sense that the van could careen of the road at any given moment.

We would imagine that, if people were to levy a criticism against this record, it might be "dude should take singing lessons." But, given the snotty snarl in his voice, we would imagine the reply might include instructions on where exactly those particular lessons should be placed. It works with the music, and it works for us even if it wouldn't for Simon Cowell. Relief. Both these tracks sound so good no doubt in no small part due to the fact they were recorded at Sweatbox in Austin by Tim Kerr (who, we shouldn't need to remind you, was part of the legendary Texas punk act the Big Boys and recorded more than his fare share of great sounding Fatal Flying Guilloteen tracks. RIP?)

You can get the Welfare Mother' Long Brown Hair 7" at Sound Exchange, or at their midnight show tomorrow @ River Oaks Theater with Black Black Gold. Recommendo Maestro!

STREAM: Welfare Mothers - Various Tracks

REVIEW: SOMETHING FIERCE - MODERN GIRL EP

ATTN: STEVEN FIERCE. ATTN: NIKI.7. ATTN: DRUMMER WITH THE BIG RED HAIR THAT WE PRESUME HAS A NICKNAME OF SOME SORT BUT WE AREN’T AWARE WHAT IT IS: We need to talk. You see, ever since the events of 2/3, the particulars of discourse about this town has changed. Changed significantly. And, on your new otherwise Rack of Casta hot new EP, Modern Girl, you have a song called “Hey Houston” that contains some un-patriotic criticism of our town. Remember Something Fierce, to love something is to embrace it unquestioningly with freedom, and not to point out ways in which it could be improved. You have to understand that you go to rock with the scene you have. Your words give comfort to our enemies, especially Ume and The Sour Notes who should never have learned the lesson that it is possible to make even better music in Austin than they were making before treasonously moving there. We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.

The Constitution may not be a suicide pact, but the freedom to love the Greater Houston Partnership is. Remember too that freedom of expression is a right, not a privilege, and like other rights it can be taken away faster than you can say ‘hebus corpus’ should you not be privileged enough. Also, we have seen you out on the town with drive-by liberal media journalist Dusti Rhodes, so we must therefore take it as a justice-y truth that you hate all things Patriotic and Houston including the San Jacinto Monument, Junction Jack the Astros mascot, the local Municipal Utility District and Jenny Westburry. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you no longer wear an enameled Mayor White lapel pin. Why do you hate our freedom?

But for serious – do we even need to review this EP? It’s from Something Fierce, after all, and it continues to sharpen the trajectory of their already catchy-as-all-hell pop garage punk whateverness. The songs here take everything that we love about Come for the Bastards and the Teenage Ruins 7" and pistol-whips it up a notch. Sure, eventually it behooves our un-hoofed trio to branch their sound out from the original intent they have now mastered, but it’s not like they’re even on their second full-length yet. We are stoked.

Do we even need to review this EP part two: It’s totally free. See, if we had said that at the beginning you would have just clicked and downloaded and could have saved yourself the trouble of reading all this. Sometimes the notion of a ‘free album for download’ makes us think ‘oh great more crap to clog up our iPod.’ So not the case. We’re not sure WHY you would make your entire EP available for free while you’re still in the process of potentially having it released, or atleast until we understood the intent, to promote the new houstonpunk.com message board. Giving away your hard work to try and bring people together, create some more dialogs and a tighter, more connected, more fun scene? Now that’s Patriotism. Like a powerdance winner, RECOMMENDED TO THE EXTREME.

NOTE: To Clarify and so there is no doubt in your mind, no one knows more about what is going on in this town than Dusti Rhodes, who also does a hell of a good job giving locals their due. Props.

Download: Something Fierce - Modern Girl EP

GLITTERATI: HOT PEOPLE WE LIKE TO LOOK AT

COUPLE? We have no idea. But we dig HOTNESS whenever we see it, and could there be a hotter man than Matt Tantillo (Paris Falls, Defend the Ghetto) or woman than Michelle (Poison Girl)?! PARTY CALL US!

PS - MATT! STOP MAKING FUNNY FACES

REVIEW: THE MONOCLES - OUT OF YOUR MIND 7"

You know when ever people write about garage rock, they always talk about it in waves. Need proof? Keep reading. First there's that whole golden era back in the 60s. Then there's the wave in the 70s. Then one in the 80s. Then one in the 90s. Then the one from a few years ago that made lots of people with the definitive article in the front of a noun lots of money. Is this it? Or rather, if there's always a garage wave, how do we know exactly when one ended and the next began? I guess they're like ocean waves that way, they just kinda keep coming and while you know where the crest and the gully is, you can't really create some sort of neat and tidy real-world demarcation to say where one begins and the other ends. There are no lines in the sand, only foam rushing from place to place.

If we could drop our bobber in the endless ebb and flow at a certain point, we'd prolly pick Mudhoney's Superfuzz Bigmuff + Early Singles as the first time garage rock caught our attention and stuck around like swimmer's ear. There's a great quote about this period of the band, which we will summarize from memory as follows: "You've got songs about dogs. You've got songs about being sick. You've can play five chords, but you only use three in each song." We feel like this boils down our affinity for garage music rather eloquently: In other words, it's simple music, played far heavier than its subject matter. But with Mudhoney, there was always that lyrical and compositional darkness that set it apart from other rockers of the lube joint. (Indeed, that feint towards the shadows and geographic locality alone may be the reason why the band ended up with the Grunge label more than the music itself - I mean, do they really have all that much in common with Pearl Jam?) "Touch me I'm Sick" is really a pretty unpleasant song, certainly in no danger of veering off into into Frat or Party rock. And it's this same dissonance and distance from celebration that we think is part of why we enjoy this 7" from The Monocles.

Recorded at Pigeon Eater Studios here in town, the title track quickly sets up what to expect. What you notice immediately is how the vocals are wrapped in a layer of effects, separating you, almost disconcertingly, from the lyrics and the performer. With a Born Liars song, for example, you might picture yourself up on stage dancing among them, but here the vocals and the way the guitars drag the drums along, you can be forgiven for thinking that no, there's something a bit more weighty going on here - maybe it's best if take it in rather than trying to somehow incorporate my own private celebration into the performance.

Tonight follows suit, tapping into the same set of inappropriately workhouse pop chords that bring to mind Butch Vig-era Sonic Youth, though with decidedly more straight-ahead structures. The lyrics are about confusion and displacement, and the music backs it up. "Darken Your Door" gets back to our original premise, and why we've enjoyed this release so much. It's a simple song (and note, please, that simple is not a bad thing AT ALL) with a catchy riff about something as mundane as a "rip in the couch." But though it couldn't be sillier if it was a lament about a car with a thousand clowns in it, there's something more, something unfortunate and not joyous about what we're hearing. We can't quite put our finger on it, but we know for sure that we, too, don't want anything to do with that rip, even while the song about it is rocking us. Recommended.

Stream: The Monocles - Various Tracks